All Comments on 'The Adventures of John Law Ch. 16'

And moving the story into the LW section after 15 chapters was just stupid. Badly done.

1 star

Excellent. Love your work.

All the other chapters were in erotic coupling. Don't fucking switch categories. Gave it a one star rating.

Im charging you for the visit to the ER to get my eyes to unroll from so far up into my head.

Yes a blackmailed woman is going to say "John, I will not only see you again, in fact every night Jason is working, but I hope you will stay a while and fuck me again. You have a very nice cock." Give it up.

Its WTF Wednesday on LW I guess.

Finally read this, liked it enough to give you a rousing *2.

Nothing to see here!

John, you should have stopped at the last chapter or, made a final, epilogue, chapter of him dying in bed, happily satisfied in the middle of a three-way with Jenna and Melody.

This chapter went against everything that was represented in the last 15 chapters with the blackmail.

All 15 of the previous chapters I had given five stars to, but this one I had to only give one star as it just totally went against everything from blackmailing, to lying to his live in lovers, which he never ever did to see someone else, but was always honest about it. It broke all of his personality traits. I’m surprised that you went this way in the story. A true shame to a masterful story up till this chapter. I would ask for a re-write, but so much time has gone by that I am sure that you would not even consider it.

I still am saying thank you though for sharing such a wonderful epic story of John law. You even went into such specific, continuity details of showing back in the 60s women with a full bush and slowly through the decades, they would start trimming shaping, etc. Really well done. Thanks again.

Daniel