All Comments on 'The Artifact Ch. 02'

I love the story. Can not wait until the next one.

your story good and sexual.

This story has me sitting on the edge of my seat from suspense

Well done sir

Hey Doc, just read Part Two. Thoroughly enjoyed the direction you took; looking forward to Part Three & beyond. Keep up the excellent work. Best regards, Rusty58

I'm really enjoying this story, looking forward to the next installment! The sex is great also the story line. good job

Good plot involving past with present.

Good start to a story. Can't wait for further developments that will take place. Don't forget about the other artifacts. May try to get some of them in.. Dark person trying to add more power to his while your hero tries to stop him.

Love the whole story from Start to Now .. Cant wait to see whats up next. Does Julie stay with him or go with Kathy as she goes to School. Does he Defeat the Dark 1? Very Interesting

Curt

totally enjoyed it cant wait for more

I haven't read a mind control story that didn't turn me off within the first few paragraphs in a while. This is engaging, beautifully written, and very much a valuable find. Thank you for this, please bring more.

If you were not making making a pun, I'd say you were referring to the Tower of Babel, not to a "tower of babble."

jun_enage

Looking forward to your work.

A wonderful story so far! I particularly enjoy the balance of a well told story combined with the sex. I find that in stories that I truely enjoy, I prefer the story over the sex, and that has been the case so far with this story. I want to see what is going to happen with the story as much or more than reading the sex (but the sex is pretty good too). I hope that it's not long between chapters as I will be following it to the conculsion.

I have got to say this is one of the best stories. I have read please keep writing!

Wonderful story in the making. Cant wait to read more. I am looking forward to the rest of this wonderful tale. Also, the fact there is more than just sex makes for a very good reading.

Very good story. Nice depth and complexity. I look forward to reading more. The two women are still a little one dimensional, I haven't seen them struggle with anything (in the present), but they are very wild/attractive. Is there nothing that they would hesitate to do? total conspirators, huh?

Great start!

As someone who fought in Viet Nam in a special ops unit I rarely like anything with a background in that hell-hole but this is not only interesting but it has enough reality to make it believable as well.

I have spent many years trying to forget that place and the suffering I saw there. This is the first time I have read something based on Nam that had any reality to it.

Thank you.

love the story so far, maybe you can add an roman orgy to spice up the sex side a bit

I'm very much enjoying the plot, it easily holds my interest past the sex. Keep up the great work.

The plot is very interesting and the sex is hot too. I like the hint of epicness in the story, the upcoming battle and most and foreall the potential for this story to go on for a long time. You got the perfect mix of story and sex. Please please keep on writing :)

I like your story line and look forward to the next progression. Be cool to see our hero get his girls pregnant and keep them.

This is great. Thanks for writing.

I've always found that a good storyline, interesting characters, and depth beyond the sex is what makes the sex so much more enjoyable and this is no exception! I can't wait for the story to continue and see how Jack deals with the coming challenges. Please don't make us wait too long!

Really well done.

It's good to see an author who puts the story above cheap thrills. It reads well.

Who's the 'man in black', though?

Can't wait to find out.

Cheers!

In one of the responses that you recived someone suggested getting one or more of the females in the story pregnant. May I suggest that if you choose to do so, that you don't do it untill the threat threat is over, because NOTHING can throw cold water on a story than having pregnant women and/or babies in danger at or near the end.

philomath

I hope you will continue your story. It kinda reminds me of the Alan story that's on here.

I have enjoyed the story so far. It reminds me of H20wader or Lazlo Zalezec. The sex scenes are ok, but the action and philosophy are more interesting. Las Vegas seems the perfect place for fantasical adventure of this type! While the 'old man' spirit guide seems benign, 'light' is the term you used, I wonder what his reaction might be if he encounters a different piece of the power. I am sure real life gets in the was, but please continue when you are able.

I think you have a fantastic story line going. I'm somewhat a fan of mind control stories, but most aren't worth reading. This one definitely is. I eagerly await the next chapter.

Hi I am not a fan of mind control stories normally.This story however has me hooked. I can't wait to find out what happens next.The story is better than the sex,but the sex is good also.Keep up the good work.

John

Thanks for a great story that not only shows us (Viet Nam Vets) as real people but also shows a great philosophical view from the oriental side of spirituality. The sex is pretty good too. I am waiting for the next chapter with baited breath.

THIS I A GREAT STORY. I ESPECIALLY LOVED THE WRITING ABOUT NAM IN IT AND HOW TOO OFTEN NAM VETS WERE AND EVEN NOW TO SOME EXTENT ARE TREATED. PLEASE CONTINUE THE STORY. I CAN SENSE TROUBLES AHEAD BUT A HAPPY ENDING IS ON ITS WAY

Please Please Please - can we have more ..

This story's great. You hear that authors like feedback, but I'm always hesitant to add any constructive criticism, because, the stories are always so creative and insightful in so many different ways and it is these aspects of the stories that I enjoy so much. The narrative is great. It's not overly elaborate and in a way it matches the story. I wish I knew what emotional buttons of yours I could push to have you keep writing this story, because thats what I want. Keep writing please. We're all having fun with it.

give us your story,your way soon.

As a story I really liked it. Its a most intriguing plot, and the new twists in the story leave you hanging for the next installment.

However, there are numerous typos and grammatical errors and other miscellaneous mistakes. Small ones, but sufficient in number and frequency to not only spoil the flow and fun of reading, but also in a few cases make it difficult to understand finer nuances of the plot.

I really really wish you'd get one of the volunteer editors in this site to help you out. It would put a shine on what is some good work.

- JT

This story has serious entertainment factor

and it's appreciated. More please.

i love the story

Great continuation of the story. Really looking forward to reading more.

Again, be sure to reread your story for grammatical errors. Other than that, no complaints.

many directions to split off to. good start to hopefully [forgive the pun] a never-ending story.

I am enjoying the twisting plot. Thank you for your efforts.

I am enjoying the storyline intrigue as Jack moves along with his young life, mentored by the spirit of the artifact.

I personally savor each new sweetie that he prepares to mount as he rides through life. I'd like to see more of them on a countercultural basis.

I'm really enjoying your storyline. Keep up the good work.

But only because you ask so nicely. Your story so far is excellent, and I'm really enjoying the plot development of it. The sex scenes are nicely written, and don't go too far as to take away from the story itself. You're doing a great job, and I have no conscious qualms with your story. I hope chapter 3 is just as good as the first two.

You should publish this!!!!

very likeable cast of characters, and good plot development. Charlie Mike!

Very nicely done!

Am enjoying this story line - enough to keep interested!

Great story, one of the best I've read. I love the uplifting aspect!

A story about a Viet Vet who does well. This is great.

Thanks

Enjoying this thoroughly. Love the mythology and psychological awarenesses used. Far, far better than anything I've read on this site. The influences are fairly obvious, and fit perfectly into a modern setting helping to create a very visual writing style. I suggest a screenplay rather than a novel. Charlie Mike.

- From a Brit in Sheffield England.

I'm enjoying this very much

Dear Friend... There are some sex/Porn reader and there are some Good story readers who also like some sex in any form of Healthy presentation. Butthe main thing is quality of writing which you are doingso far very well. Please continue this form of writing which gives some some sombre readers god time to read and enjoy as we cannot go for th raw meats as mental food.

Carry on Doc.

dont know if your still around , but if you are please keep writing please

This story is very well-planned. It shows forethought and flows smoothly. It was a little light in background development, but the writing style smooths this fault over. I enjoyed reading this story and hope to see this continued past chapter 3.

You have such a knack for weaving together a fine story. Keep it up for as long as you possiblely can. Soooo much good things in ghis I don't really know what to point out...

I think that it's really important for a story and for characters to slowly evolve, otherwise it get's boring very fast. You did a good job with building and writing the story behind the artifact, which adds alot.

I personally don't like the stories where the main character jumps from one bed to another to another, the storyline only focussing on sex.

This is the best story i have read on here yet. It is almost like i am reading a real novel.

Doc, this is great stuff. Not good, great. Your dedication to this craft of wordsmithing (see ch 01 comment) is duly noted. Please, carry on (or CM as you would have Jack say!)

You made your character get stronger bit by bit instead of having him be incredibly powerful.You have a good plot going and overall this is a great story.Good job.

Hi Doc, usually read literotica for education, entertainment and to sleep. but you`ve kept me awake and captivated...Keeep up the good work.!? most read chapter 3 now.. regards Stephen...

This story is adding layers that don't clutter but broaden the tale.

I enjoy story. And you're is good! Keep up the great work.

I have been reading stories from Literotica for over 2 years and have found my enjoyment of the different genres shifting. I stumbled onto your tale and have enjoyed it immensly, not being solely 'Wham, Bam, Thank you Mam'. You story has elements of having a plot, intrigue and eroticism. Keep up the excellent work.

tompo296

This is the first story series I have read where I am actually looking forward to the next chapter. The storyline is great. Thanks.

This is by far the best story I have read. Thank you.

Yeah, I'm rooting for this warrior! This story appeals on so many levels. Mind control, multiple partners, voyer, action; keep up the good work, and I'll be looking for more on this story in the near future.

good story from a greenbeenie

So far this is a very interesting story and I am looking forward to reading the rest.

Strange that here on Literotica the sex is the side story. I'm enjoying this quite a bit. Keep up the good work

Not boring, not insulting. Good read this time, too.

I have paid good money for stories I enjoyed a lot less !

Like fine wine, it improves as it moves along!!

This story is awsome! This goes for the first Chapter as well. Have not read the third but I will!

Sex is all well and good, but it's so much better as part of an engrossing, interesting story. If I just wanted to jack-off, there are plenty of other sources of stimulation on the web. When I read a story, I want a STORY, and man do you deliver. I look forward to continuing to read the on-going development of this excellent tale.

unusual for this genre there is a compelling plot.

this would be a good read without the erotic scenes.

This is a very well written story and even without the sex-capades would Truthfully be

a very good book story ! Most stories with abilities and powers in it are written to see how much the person can aquire of wealth,Land ,fame and of course more power for Greed and Powers sake!!

I agree with the others. A great read. Would make agreat book.

Really great work so far. Can't wait to read te next in the series and if it doesn't end hole you will continue it.

One of the best stories I've ever read. And I've read a lot. This would make a best selling book. Could be turned into a series going after more artifacts.

This is the only story I have ever commented on before reading the whole story. I mostly read the BTB types but this one is by far the the best I have read, this author is now a favorite reguardless of type. Keep writing!

I am totally captivated by this story and I would be crushed if you ended it anytime soon. Keep up the good work

I had a ton of things to say but it all can be summarised as, this is damn good, keep it up

What more needs to be said? Appreciate the story aspect, love the idea.

Please. Continue this story I have read it numerous times hoping you would continue to add to it

8852

This story is so close to truth in detail about what went on in Nam that it has brought back some of the memories that I had not thought of in a good many years. They are not the bad memories that I was afraid would come back but the ones I am having are quite normal, sad in some cases, not so in others. Thanks for a wonderful story and for helping a GI with a not so nice time of my life. Keep up the good work and never feel that the stories you write don't help some that need it. Again I thank you.

Wonderful addition not drifting at all from the intended story line and i can see it happening

Take this as full payment. This story is just wonderful. Im so invested in tge characters. Such attention to detaik, perfectly drawn characters and plot line. I am about to read part 3 but am hesitating because i don t want the story to end. Your hard work is evident. Doc i hope you write in other outlets. Power, passion and a plot are hard to come by in any story especially on Lit but you have done it divinely. Oh and the sex is hot too.

...and still getting great comments today. Enjoying this story... Now on to part 3!

I would buy this in book form if it were available. I hope that there are many additionsto these chapters of this story. please continue to write.

I saw it on the list the other day. Clicked on it and it said something about moderator approval. Now I don't see it. What happened?

the first and this second chapter is outstanding. Love the sex scenes but the plot of the story keeps me wanting more. I read alot of books and this my friend could become a book all in it self. Keep up the good work and ill be waiting for more.

I like the premise of the story. Really looking forward to the next chapter.

Great story, kind of straight to the point though.

Last chapter in August of 2009. What's up? You give up?, you left us hanging.

We would sure like to hear the rest

I see it's been years since your story was posted but would love to know the outcome. I will check back regularly with the hope that one day I'll see the next chapter in what appears to be a great story.

It's a great story! I loved it and want more. I will keep an eye out for Artifact Chapter 03

I saw those same people outside Travis AFB when I got out. That was a nice touch.

I liked the first part a little better than the second, but overall both are great and would really hope to read the rest of it.

Why did you leave it in between?

It was just starting into a series story. Have you already given up?

I'll be waiting for the next instalment and hope you do put it up. :)

Like all the previous commenters please continue the story. I know it's been a few years but pick up where you left off. Barring that contract another writer here to continue this engaging story arc.

Its a great story. Plot seems plausible. Its not inconsistent and flows and the sex chapters are hot.. cant wait for more

I love this story but you haven't touched it in 5 years. Please come back and work on this gem, it deserves to be completed.