The Assassin and the Sorceress Ch. 07

"What about truthfulness? I mean... I'd like to get our family to a point where we don't have to keep secrets from each other. Isn't that something worth fighting for on its own?"

"Everyone has secrets. That's not always a bad thing, either."

He was right, and I had plenty of secrets of my own. I though of all my sexual perversions, which I wasn't the least bit ashamed of; I just didn't think they were anyone else's business. And of course, my magic powers...

"Very well, that's true," I said, "but there's no need to keep you working for the Adensons a secret at all! That's a foolish and pointless rule she's imposed on you. It's just another one of her ways of controlling you. Even pretending that we follow her pointless, arbitrary rules means she still has some control over you yet. She has no right! Not to make such rules, and not to think we follow them, either! And the next step in fixing our broken family is to be honest with one another. Be a free man and don't apologize for it!"

Father sighed. He paused, thinking of how to respond. "Well, that's a very noble sentiment, I'll give you that. That's one of the things I love about you. You fight for what you think is right, not what people tell you is right. But sometimes principle and reality fly in the face of each other. Broken bones take a long time to heal, and broken families take even longer. Our family bonds are still healing from the last time I... went against her. If we strain those bonds too much and too soon, they may break completely."

"Our bond won't break, will it?"

"Of course not. You know I'll always love you, no matter what."

"Then it's only Mother we're talking about. And what if that's her condition for staying in the family, that you have to follow her tyrannical rules and stay a poor stable hand, then she can be the one to leave! She nearly beat me to death! Remember?"

"You're exaggerating. All the same, what she did was inexcusable."

I decided not to press that argument. She truly could have killed me that morning, however, in healing my wounds as quickly as I had, I had inadvertently erased the evidence of what she had done.

"Well, I was so scared I thought I was going to die, anyway. But, yes, it was inexcusable. She's a monster! She doesn't deserve to be placated."

"I... Okay, you have me there. You're not wrong. Hmm... I'm not smart like you, Morgana. I have no idea where you got all that intelligence from. No, I'm not smart like you, but I think I can say I'm wise to the world. Anyone who's made as many mistakes in life as me at least gains some wisdom from it, so please at least consider my advice. Firstly, she will never beat you again, and I'll make damn sure of it! That was a battle that did have to be fought. And won, no less. But the rest of the battles we could fight with her aren't so important. We can afford to take our time. You and I have already decided we can keep her in the family provided she never does that again, and it would be a pity if we finally left her over a minor squabble like that. And if we can have our freedom and avoid any more cataclysmic arguments with Hellen, I think that's not a bad compromise.

"Here's my thinking. You are a grown woman now, and you are certainly old enough to consider decisions that will affect the family. If you decide it's better to tell her what we're really up to this summer, then go ahead and tell her. I'll back you up if you decide to, and I promise I won't be mad. Just take some time to consider my advice before you decide. After all, there's no putting spilled ale back in a mug."

***

I agreed to help him in the fields tomorrow. He said we'd need our rest, so on his suggestion we left the tavern earlier than usual. On the walk back, he admitted that it was unusual for him to make such a responsible choice. He joked that finally having to be a role model for his daughter was having some good effects on him. Well, he said it as a joke, but I think he was being more serious than the wanted to admit.

In the end, I decided that sometimes principle needs to bow down to reality. The small burden of keeping one more secret just wasn't worth fighting with my mother over.

***

Ash was arranged similar to most castles of the time, except there was no outer castle wall. The only fortification was the keep itself and a narrow moat surrounding it. Around the keep, what would normally have been inside the castle walls, was the village where most of the residents lived. This was also where craftsmen practiced their trades, merchants sold their wares, and other typical functions. Surrounding the village were the fields that gave Ash its food supply. The fields were owned by three families, wealthy by Ash standards, who acted as nobility of sorts.

Technically, Lord Abel owned all of the property, however the holders of the farmland earned the right to manage the land as they saw fit when they paid their taxes in the form of a percentage of their yield.

Of these three families, the Adensons were the richest. They grew wheat and raised livestock, including all of Ash's horses. What my mother's problem with them was, I couldn't even begin to guess. I vaguely remember her using the term 'godless heretics' in regard to them once or twice, but not often. Even a miserable witch like my mother knows a lowly schoolteacher doesn't openly speak out against rich landowners who have the count's ear.

Brannon Adenson was still a strong and handsome man despite his middle age. I like to think that maybe she had once hoped to marry him and become wealthy, only to have been rejected for her hideousness and sour demeanor in favor of the much prettier woman, Erin, he did marry, leaving the rejected and scorned Hellen to settle for a lowly stable hand. Maybe jealousy was her reason for hating them. I really had no idea, but I amused myself with the thought.

Father and I met with the others who would be working this harvest season. I immediately recognized Rufus, one of the friends he drank with. With him were his son and daughter, or at least I assumed they were. They shared his tall, lanky build and blond hair.

Brannon and his sons, Kenrick and Gaius, made an appearance to go over the rules and hand out tools for us to use. Now that was a handsome group of men! As they went through the initiation, I admit I was a bit lost in them. Had either of Brannon's sons them taken wives? If I could rest my head against either of those muscular chests, I could forget all about Joseph!

Father, of course, worked close to Rufus so they could chat. That left me working with Matthew and Magdalene, who turned out to indeed be his son and daughter. They were a strange couple of siblings, but I grew to enjoy working beside them almost from the first day. They were slender with wild, blond hair like their father, but those were the only similarities they shared with each other.

Magdalene, the older sibling, was actually the burlier of the two. She was taller and stronger than her brother, which seemed to give Matthew no end of shame. Magdalene was also considerably more jovial and outgoing than her timid younger brother. I wouldn't dare say she was beautiful by conventional standards, but her constantly smiling face was a pleasant sight to see, all the same. At twenty-five, she was still unmarried, which made me feel less horrible about not being married myself. There is something comforting about knowing you aren't the only one in the world to suffer a shameful fate, and the fact that she didn't seem the least bit bothered by it made me hopeful that I could also live a fulfilling life, despite being me.

And then there was Matthew. Though he was nineteen years old, he seemed much younger. He was short for his age, and not particularly strong for a common laborer. In further contrast to his sister, he had an extremely shy and timid demeanor. Whereas I was shy because I always seemed to say the wrong thing whenever I opened my mouth, Matthew seemed terrified to say much of anything at all. Still, his sister clearly loved him as much as any sister should, and I certainly liked having him with us.

It didn't take me long to suspect that both of our fathers had an ulterior motive for inviting me to work the fields. Rufus and his wife were old enough I doubt they planned to produce any more children. Neither of his children seemed particularly inclined to marry. Magdalene, I caught on fairly quickly, didn't seem interested in boys as most girls were. And Matthew, well, he didn't seem particularly competitive in that respect, no matter what his desires might have been. So, by my thinking, Rufus had looked at his son and daughter and worried that neither of them would pass on his blood to a third generation. I imagine my father had similar feelings about me, and I admit I couldn't be mad him for having the same worries about me that I had.

Perhaps our fathers had conspired to introduce Matthew and myself, or maybe they just wanted to help me make some friends. Well, even if the former were true, I found myself intrigued by Magdalene just as much as by Matthew. Her tomboyishness and her seeming disinterest in ever taking a husband... I wondered if she ever felt the same feelings for other women as I did. Perhaps she even had those feelings exclusively for women, just as a man might. Somehow, I could sense it in her.

I had always wondered if there was something wrong with me for my sexual attraction to other women. Now it seemed I wasn't the only one. What other peculiarities might we share?

As timid and boyish as Matthew may have appeared, I somehow found myself intrigued by him as well. There was something about him, too, that reminded me of myself. Whatever I had that made me so seemingly unlikable by my peers he may have had even worse than me. I felt I could relate to him, despite the fact it was frustratingly difficult to get him to say two sentences in a row. It wasn't long before I was having thoughts of offering to take his innocence from him, just as Joseph had done to me. It wasn't his body I desired so much as the opportunity to finally have the upper hand in a sexual or romantic encounter: to be the one who was coveted and worshipped, not begging for scraps as I usually thought of myself. It sounded nice for a change.

As to Magdalene, it was her warmth towards me that drew my lust for her. It wasn't the treatment I was used to. Usually, people would treat me with suspicion, as if I had to prove I meant no harm before they would lower their guard. Magdalene was just a trusting person from the start, and that attention alone made me love her. It gave me desires for her. I found myself spending a lot of my quiet time thinking of ways to take our new friendship to the next level, thinking of ways to steer the conversation towards forbidden topics such as if a woman could love a woman, maybe draw out her admission that she often lusted after other women. Of course, I wouldn't waste a moment in admitting I had also felt such secret desires. You can probably imagine where those thought went from there.

And a few times, though I am embarrassed to admit it, I wondered what it would be like to take them both at once, brother and sister. I had no idea how to suggest such a forbidden act to them. Even in my fantasies that conversation seemed awkward and forced, or the circumstances in which it happened were so unlikely I allowed myself to hold no hope of it ever happening.

Yet not long after meeting them, what appeared like such an opportunity presented itself to me.

The Adensons were generous taskmasters, as taskmasters went. It was an unusually warm summer, and they allowed us to take a lengthy break during the hottest part of the day. Most of the fifteen or twenty laborers that showed up that day would take the opportunity to have a leisurely meal, down copious amounts of water or ale, and joke around with each other.

Myself, I preferred to make myself scarce. As great as the people there were to me, I still found lengthy conversation not quite to my liking. I preferred to wander around and explore. I took advantage of the shade in the nearby woods, not to mention the privacy it offered, to relax and collect my thoughts. Sometimes I conjured up a book to study, sometimes I pleasured myself, and sometimes I just basked in the sounds of nature.

But on the Friday of the first week of harvest, Magdalene approached me as soon as our mid-day break was announced. "Matthew, myself, and a few friends are meeting up by the river to cool off. You're welcome to join us. Meet us at the bridge just west of town if you want."

I knew the bridge she was talking about. I knew it well, in fact. It was one of the many places I liked to wander. It was great for being alone because it was so seldom traveled. Not far past the Adenson's estate there was a small, nameless creek. A small stone bridge had been built there to mark one's crossing from Ash into the great wilderness beyond. I think only the occasional hunter or woodsman wandered this road, because the only place it seemed to go was the woods before it disappeared from sight. There was something enchanting about the scenery of this overgrown road: the last remnants of mankind's touch being slowly retaken by nature.

I was nervous to accept her offer. I deliberated for a good while about what I should do, caught in the middle between two powerful opposing forces. What if this only led to more shame? But it was the first seemingly genuine opportunity I had received in years to finally make some friends. But if they were swimming in the river, did that mean they would be naked? I loved being naked, but with other people?

Eventually, I decided that simply showing up didn't obligate me to do anything further. I could just pretend I had other things to do today, but wanted to say hello. If anything else, I needed to show Magdalene and her friends I was interested in them.

It was nearly halfway through the lunch break when I finally worked up the resolve to start walking down that very lightly trodden path. After a five-minute walk, the bridge was in sight, and today it was as beautiful as I ever remember it. The thick canopy above the far side of the river provided enough cover to shield the area from the harsh sunlight, while leaving enough of the sunlight to keep the copse bright and cheery. The bridge itself was beautiful in its simplicity. A gentle arch carried the traveler a good ten or fifteen feet above the water at its center. Thick, stone railings guarded either side, still sturdy enough to lean against and admire the view of the creek. Jutting up from the ends of the railings were four wrought iron lampposts which might have been meant to mark the location of the river's crossing for travelers returning to Ash at night, though I doubted anyone had lit them in some time. Perhaps the bridge had looked pristine at one time, though vines now crept up its sides and chunks of rock were missing, worn loose by countless freezes and thaws.

As I approached I heard laughter, and then splashing. I walked to the center of the bridge and leaned against the railing to look over the side. Swimming in the small pond just upstream of the bridge were the siblings and two others trying to stay cool in the midday heat. The other two were Gaius Adenson, the younger of Brannon Adenson's sons, and a girl named Esther I recognized from town. Gaius' shirtless torso immediately caught my eye. He was broad-shouldered and muscular like I had never seen anyone before! His wet skin glistening in the sun made him look all the more alluring!

I looked to see if the rest of them were as naked. It was hard to tell, but all of them seemed to be keeping anything not fit for display well submerged. Magdalene and Esther were splashing each other, while Gaius watched, clearly amused. Matthew was unsurprisingly keeping to himself.

Magdalene was the first to see me approaching.

"Morgana, so you've decided to join us!" she shouted to me happily and waved. As she did, she flashed a little bit of her bare chest, probably accidentally, though she didn't seem to mind. Esther, though her breasts were well hidden under the water, crossed her arms in front of her chest absent-mindedly. She seemed a little less comfortable in this situation than Magdalene and Gaius, but looked like she was enjoying the adventure anyway. Oddly, Matthew looked even more embarrassed than Esther. This was clearly an adventure for him.

"What are all of you doing?" I asked, as if it wasn't obvious.

"Cooling off. Care to join us?" Magdalene invited.

I considered. "Umm... are all of you..."

"Are all of us what?"

"Naked?"

"Of course, by necessity! We aren't walking around in wet clothes for the rest of the day. We'll turn around until you get in the water. It's one of the rules, actually."

"I see. Well..." I trailed off, not sure how I wanted to respond.

"That's fine if you're shy. You don't have to join us. Up to you."

"Maybe. I'll think about it. I kind of wanted a stroll in the woods today. Will you be here again?"

"Probably. You're welcome to join us anytime. We've also decided to meet up here on Sunday after church."

I gasped in mock disgust. "This lewd debauchery, on the HOLY SABBATH, no less? So naughty!" This garnered some laughter from the group.

"There's not as much debauchery as it looks like. I have my own brother here, for Christ's sake. All the same, we're going to tell our parents we're off for a prayer session to thank the Lord for our blessings."

"And we are!" Esther interjected. "Oh, Heavenly Father, I'm thankful for the cool refreshing waters of this brook, I'm thankful for having no parents watching us and wondering what we're up to."

Then Gaius added, "And I'm thankful for the scenery out here, the beauty of God's natural creation." Gaius stared directly at Esther as he said this, leering without a grain of subtlety. This did not escape Esther's notice.

"Uhh... ha ha ha... yeah..." she retorted uncomfortably, with the clear message that Gaius would do well to not get any ideas. She sank down even further into the water so even her shoulders were hidden.

No debauchery, said Magdalene? It seemed not everyone here shared her innocent intentions. I liked that.

"Thanks! It looks fun! Maybe I'll join you after church on Sunday."

"Wait, Morgana?" Magdalene shouted once I had turned to leave. I turned back to her. "Please don't go passing this on to anyone else. A lot of folks in the village wouldn't approve of us bathing together. Like I said, we're not doing anything naughty, but they might not see it that way."

"Don't fear. I shall divulge your secret to no mortal ears."

"And, you might want to come up with your own alibi if you can for being gone for several hours. If they figure out we're all together because our stories match up too much, they might get suspicious of so many boys and girls going out into the woods unsupervised. Do you take my meaning?"

"I take your meaning. But I don't think my parents really care where I am most of the time."

"Your parents aren't breathing down your neck every second of the day?" Esther interjected. "How'd you get so lucky?"

In truth, the answer to her question was that they had been neglectful. My mother didn't love me, and probably didn't care what trouble I got into as long as she could claim ignorance. But I didn't want to be so depressing while making a first impression, so I answered simply, "I guess they're just too trusting."

And so, I left them. A part of me wanted to join them, but several things stopped me. To see a bunch of kids hanging out naked, in their natural state, was certainly intriguing to me. I had always figured I was alone in my enjoyment of nudism, so it was something I had only ever practiced in secret. I didn't know if I was ready to be naked in front of a group of people with no preparation, despite many of my fantasies involving exactly that. I was nervous, and needed time to think about it.