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Click here"Please join me for breakfast." Smiling, he was encouraged by the outfit she had chosen. A shiver ran through him as he gazed on her and knew that it would be a long wonderful day of sex.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 4 years agoBTW - I LOVED lostnfoundbin’s synopsis of the first chapter, absolutely priceless!
I do think that this chapter was a huge improvement on the 1st chapter but for myriad reasons detailed in Lnfb’s comment, I’m not deliberately trying to be mean but it wasn’t difficult to improve on the previous chapter. PornSiteGuy had the perfect opportunity to do this thing properly but naturally decided to skip that because he wouldn’t get the rest of the money for whoring himself out. He could have (yeah I know I’m being crazy) talked to her about limits and expectations but it appears that minor things like her needs, wants and limits just aren’t important to him. Even though it was incredibly astute of him to realise that letting her continue to think she’d been kidnapped and would be raped again was a bad move.
Loved the inclusion of the phone call to her husband including the conversation about “Maybe it'll spark something new and exciting in your marriage." ...hopefully yes, it’s called divorce. I’m not altogether sure why she’s confused about whether or not her husband is having an affair because he did admit to it on the phone. Regardless of what she gets up to over the course of the weekend it could still be easily argued (by a good lawyer) that she hasn’t cheated on hubby she’s not exactly in a rational frame of mind, possibly still in fear of her life.
Even though you’ve now dragged the story into the Reluctance category I don’t think our concepts of BDSM are going to be similar, so on that note I’m out.
Best of luck with your writing.
Tess (UK)
LostnFoundBinalmost 4 years agoWhile the first chapter was wildly over done and unbelievable, this attempt to right the ship swung it too far the other way. I agree you needed MR.PORN SITE GUY to do something to save his ass from the impending prosecution coming his way.
But how did “Good morning remember me? You know the guy that drugged, kidnapped, and recorded my rape of you last night? Yeah I can see you remember now. Well I just want you to know this was all a gift for your anniversary. Yep it’s your husband's present to you. Aren’t you the lucky one. Anyway before I continue your molestation let’s call him so you can thank him for loving you so much, and I can thank him for letting me violate you in every way you “claim” you don’t want.”
(Insert phone call here).
“Damn he is generous. Did you hear that he gave himself a gift too. Seems for your anniversary he gave himself a younger sexier woman he could fuck all weekend long too. I mean why fuck you when he can have something better... never mind I’m getting off track. Did you also hear when I told him I might have to keep you longer than he requested, he had no problem letting me keep you. Well at least his side piece will keep him safe and warm. But what truly made me feel his love for you was when he said you meant “a lot to him”. The words I’m certain every wife longs to hear the moment she discovers her husband is fucking another woman because he loaned his wife out to get raped and assaulted. So now that you know I’m a good guy and you mean a lot to your husband, don’t you think it’s time for you to suck my cock. Yep me too!”
And we’re off to nirvana.
HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? She should be a fucking wreck or at least mentally impacted but the onslaught of emotions and the last thought crossing her mind as her marriage and family dissolve in front of her is “rape me again please”.
Please, let’s be honest, she just discovered that, despite several opportunities, while she remained loving and faithful wife, her loving husband has been cheating on her for some time. Also that her husband was the one who gave her to this man with the sole intent that she be violated throughout the weekend in hopes that, if and when she returns home, her husband can broach the subject of exploring an open marriage. With no concern for her health or wellbeing her husband allowed this man to drug her. With no forethought to the impact of fantasy vs reality on a persons psyche he sent her to be raped. He did this is cold denial of her freedom, any form of consent, and in full violation of the loving trust required in ANY marriage, open or not, just so he could get some on the side. REALLY???
In comparison, the Landscaper story was so simple, psychological, and properly balanced that it worked chapter after chapter providing enough believability to get readers to willingly, or even reluctantly, buy in to the story line. But here there is nothing tangible in the plot to grasp onto for me to Ignore the countless impossibilities you are offering.
Even with your well crafted words, playful character interactions, and vibrant exciting sex scenes, it’s tough to appreciate a story you can’t believe.
