The Beach

o - o - o - o - o

Morning arrived slow and warm through the tiny square perspex window, carrying with it its typical baggage of regret.

Adrienne woke with some difficulty, a broken and hostile hangover crawling behind her eyes.

Jen snored, still asleep with a sliver of drool (or possibly cum) on her chin. So Ade lay back and wondered what time it was. Her phone was in her shorts, and her shorts were... Fuck knows where.

It was soon blisteringly hot in the caravan and her hair stuck to her face. She was about to get up to pee when the other bedroom's door slid open with a thud and Steve got out.

He looked at her, then at them both in the conjoined sleeping bag, but his face was blank and uninterested. In his hand he carried his rucksack, and without a word he left the caravan.

The door slammed behind him, shaking the whole place alarmingly, and Jen bolted awake, one eye still closed.

"Whas um?" Was all she could manage before flopping back onto the pillow and suffering a coughing fit.

Adrienne climbed out of the stifling, thermally insulated prison that passed for covers and rummaged for her clothes. Jen watched her dress, an arm draped across her forehead.

"Just leave him be, sweetie. He probably needs some time to think," she croaked, the first in probably a litany of morning after clichés.

Ade didn't answer, dashing out of the caravan after him.

He was only a couple of feet down the path, heading towards the exit and presumably a bus to take him back to the city.

"Steve, please wait," she called.

For a minute she thought he was going to ignore her and keep walking, but mercifully he stopped.

She ran up to him, a little out of breath, and rested her hands on her knees. "Not going to make this easy for me are you?"

He stood with his back to her, looking up at the sky.

"Will you talk to me?" She almost pleaded.

"I don't know what I was thinking," he finally said.

Ade wondered what he really meant by that.

He continued: "Coming here. It was a stupid idea."

Still vague enough to leave her uneasy, but progress.

"She's a bad influence on you, Ade."

And there was the rub.

"Sweetie, that's not fair," she said quietly.

Ade sat on the picnic table nearby, hoping he'd join her, but he stayed some distance away. She lit a cigarette and picked the gravel from the bottom of her feet.

"You don't get to decide my friends for me, Steve."

His shoulders drooped, making him look even more cartoonishly dejected. "It's like I don't even know who you are sometimes."

She rolled her eyes in frustration: "Oh grow up will you. What's this bullshit all of a sudden?"

He gave up being distant and sat at the table opposite her, opening his tobacco tin and fishing out a perfectly rolled woodbine. She slid the lighter over.

"You're not exactly filling me with the desire to hang around here." He said as he exhaled blue smoke.

"I want you to stay, I do. I love you Steve, but this is our life, and... I know sometimes it's weird, but it's just who we are."

"Ade, I'm serious. It's like every day I'm finding out something life-altering, and I'm not ready for it."

Life-altering. It was an interesting if selfish way to look at it. She tried to see it from his perspective and felt some sympathy for the poor sod at least.

"What Jen said last night, is that what you're into as well? What am I going to find out tomorrow?" He asked.

"Truth?"

He nodded. "Truth."

She sighed: "As far as Jen goes, I know it's like sex work and it's got a bad rep. People are always going to look at it negatively. Degrading. You know?"

"Okay."

"But Jen is Jen. She does what she does because she likes it. Not because someone's exploiting her. You need to get your head out of your bum when it comes to this kind of attitude."

"Fair."

"I'm not into it. So no. I don't cam. I mean; I support her out of solidarity, sisterhood I guess; she's my best friend, and sometimes her waffle about making yourself feel good on your own terms makes sense."

He waited for her to go on.

"I wouldn't dream of asking her to change, and nor should you."

He nodded. "I guess I owe her an apology for the way I reacted."

"Yeah you do. As for me..."

"You don't have to-"

"No, let me finish while I still can. I've told you I've got some insecurities." She lit another cigarette. "I really like you, Steve, and I want to share everything. How I feel, my body, but I'm worried if I open up too much I'll say or do the wrong thing and scare you away." She wasn't going to cry, no way.

"You won't. I want to know everything."

"Everything. Wow, okay. No pressure then."

They both snorted and she paused for a beat, staring at a spot on the table, trying to find courage in a grain of wood.

"My name is Adrienne, but my friends call me Ade, and I let them even though it's masculine. I'm 20. I like cats, 90s music, dancing like a twat, and my toast cut into triangles. I love retro video games, chilli hummus, and musicals. I want to go to Japan someday, and I think Tom Hiddleston is the sexist man alive. I take drugs to feel good sometimes, I smoke too much, I'm lazy, I'm trans, and I hate the idea of you not being in my life."

He looked at her with the goofiest expression. This was going well.

"You know I take hormones, right? Well they make sex... difficult. That's something I'm coming to terms with. I want more than anything to be railed by you about a thousand times a day, but I need you to be patient with me for a little bit longer, while I figure out how I work."

He took a sharp intake of breath and opened his tin to take out another cigarette, changing his mind and closing it again, before spinning it around nervously.

Ade passed him her half-finished filtered Silk Cut to smoke. "That's it. That's all there is. That's me in a peanut shell."

He smiled. "That doesn't sound too bad actually. Not sure about the hummus though."

"Take me as I am, Babe. Hummus or nothing."

He held her hand and squeezed affectionately. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I can accept that."

She let out the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. "Will you come back to the caravan? Stay the rest of the weekend? Decide double quick because I really have to pee."

o - o - o - o - o

Back at the berth, Jen was sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her arms.

"Please don't shake the house anymore, darlings, my poor hangover can't take it."

She kissed the top of Jen's head, making her groan pathetically: "Don't look at me, I'm hideous."

Ade scoffed: "Drama queen," and made to fix up cereal, toast and tea while Steve sat down at the table sheepishly.

He and Jen touched hands, last night's fuss hopefully water under the bridge.

They managed to get Jen to take a few nibbles of toast, and the tea seemed to bring her back to life somewhat.

She perked up at a mention of the beach. "I did promise to show you the place in the daytime, so why don't we all head down there in a bit and just relax until we're lobster pink."

"Best idea you've had yet," Ade said, and Steve agreed.

Jen got up to find her toiletry bag and paused on the verge of the bedroom: "I'm glad you're here, Steve. We'll talk more about camming later if you want, but for now I'm just happy you decided to stay."

After breakfast, Adrienne and Jen headed down to the showers, and after ten minutes under the warm water began feeling like functioning human beings again. Ade came out of the cubicle wearing her bikini, and decided on a sarong around her waist for modesty's sake until she could scope out the beach. She was towel drying her hair when Jen emerged. She was still sporting her buzz cut, and rocking an amazing lavender number with rainbow edgings.

"Wow, Jen, you are a vision."

Her friend did a twirl. "You're not so bad yourself, love. What do you say we go and show that boy of yours what he's been missing?"

They left the showers arm in arm, stepping out into the bright morning sun. It looked like it was going to be a great weekend.