All Comments on 'The Birthday Gift'

it made me stir crazy! too many people, too much going on?

My personal fantasies often involve lots of build up, huge backstories, anticipation, confusion, and a happy unfolding. But it looks like I’m frustrating readers more than tantalizing them. Hahaha. Can’t win ‘em all. I wrote this one for a friend, who noticed and felt everything I hoped he would. So its purpose was served. I’ll work on fewer characters and a more focused plot next time.

1*--- I may give you a better score if you finish the story and there are way to many holes in this part.