The Botany Exhibit Ch. 02

Brian continued. "We only have the one terrarium and its not suitable for people to enter due to the delicate pH balance of the soil and..."

"Women." I interrupted.

He looked at me strangely. "Excuse me?"

"You give them to the plants. The women." I repeated.

Brian stared at me for a moment then broke into laughter. "Kelsey, the plants are carnivorous, but we do NOT feed them women!" he said as he continued laughing. "Only spiders and sometimes small mice for the larger plants. They couldn't eat a woman!"

I was wildly confused. I knew what I had experienced, and I believed it was real with all of my heart. He knew it too. Still... if I was wrong, and it was all a dream or something, I couldn't share those obscene details with him! It would be far too humiliating. If it was real, he clearly believed, or at least hoped, that I didn't remember, as none of the other volunteers had. I wondered what was so special about me that I was the only one of dozens of volunteers who retained those memories? Perhaps they all remembered and were afraid to tell the tales...?

I looked at him and my heart instantly ached. I had been so hard on him. He was a kind, loving, generous man and I had pushed his feelings aside for far too long. To recap what I had lived through would only open this wound for him. At that moment I decided to play along. "Then what happened to me?" I questioned.

Brian looked at our clasped hands and swallowed hard. Did I sense a bit of guilt? "The doctor thinks you have... a seizure disorder," he said carefully. He paused and looked at me to see if I was buying it. "You... stepped...or fell... into traffic... perhaps as you had a seizure... and... you were hit by a bus." He swallowed again. "You've been having them every day in your sleep... the seizures."

I furrowed my eyebrows, doubting him. "I don't remember ever having seizures before?"

He shrugged. "I only know what the doctor said." He looked at me with such kindness. "He said you're likely to suffer from them for a long time."

I pulled my hand from his. I never dreamed that my work with those plants would cause any kind of permanent damage, especially to my brain! A small part of me now blamed him for his participation, even though he couldn't have known this would happen. I struggled to imagine the limitations I would have to endure, and for how long? "Brian I... I think I need a few minutes alone, please. Do you think you can find me some juice or something?"

"Sure. Anything, Kelsey," he said, standing up.

I watched him walk to the door, obviously mournful, and I felt bad for putting all the blame on him. "Brian?" I said.

He turned to look at me.

"I love you," I said.

His face lit up. "I love you too." He replied, smiling.

*****