All Comments on 'The Brown Mare Pt. 01'

Hey this is Luccstarr025, sorry there was not much action in part 1. Things should get more heated in the next installment.

No apologies necessary Luccstar.

I loved the way you laid the ground work for Jenna and Rosa's background and who they are, their different personalities. It makes the story so much more interesting than a quick descent into MC. You are making this a real story with three dimensional characters. I love stories like this. Keep up the great work.

First error comes in the second sentence: "1# detective". It doesn't really get any better afterwards, either.

I shall continue on to the next installment, but the grammar is a distraction.