All Comments on 'The Bunker Ch. 04'

Kevin should have to add 2 or 3 more women to his family as a twist to prove that he is a flexible leader that can adapt to changing situations. I am still thinking about the girls, the shy one and the one who couldn't stop crying, that came to his office.

Those were left unnamed for a reason. As for adding more women. Ahem. Well, I wouldn't want to spoil anything. So you'll just have to wait and see.

Although, six would be perfectly reasonable in real life. Each lady has a decent shot at getting laid twice a week with out Kevin's dick falling off.

thank you

like it lots, keep going!

Keep it going!

Sex scenes still great but much better relationship building in this chapter.

@ThePantsman -- Thank You! I made a concerted effort on that point.

Good and getting better. I assume he is running, but all of that exercise has a way of building an appetite. I think it is hard to loose weight on a diet of lasagna, peanut butter pancakes, chili dogs, etc. Keep writing.

food choice matters, but one can moderate the amount of less healthy foods in order to join in with family and friends without making others feel uncomfortable. Plus, he's getting a lot of cardio done with six ladies to keep happy.

bear in mind, Kevin only had a little to lose, as an Army veteran, he chooses to double down on the PT and make only small changes to his intake.

Great story which I hope you will continue with another 20-30 chapters

Can’t wait for the next chapter!

Working on Bunker Ch5 and QT:Dave in Dallas ch 2. Have to keep up with day job among other things. Also, had an idea for a intermission story in Bunker that just had to get out of my head and into a file.

For those interested, I have a Patreon page now. Subscribers get early access. (QT:DiD 2 or Bunker 5 should be up there for tier 2+ by this weekend, maybe both, but at least one). Also, I have posted visual guides for the current characters in both stories. There is also a complete, single file version of Poster Girl, with edits and improvements. Link is below.

https://patreon.com/Ronan332

5 of 5. Waiting for more.

I was just in the middle of reading the first page of chapter 4 and in the middle of them talking about peanut butter on pancakes the sentence just ends right in the middle and doesn't finish the thought he was having. just thought you would want to know so you can fix it.

I am really enjoying this story line please keep it up! Thanks!

@cindyp1976

Interesting. I found what you're talking about. It must have been a Lit thing. The original has it intact.

"relax around me. I’m not an emperor or a king."

That was the rest of the paragraph.

It's continuing to be a good story. I could wish for longer chapters, but won't ding the story for it.

Interesting story.

Much better technically, fewer typos, good flow. Thanks for writing.

I still dont understand why they need a new house if they are moving into a bunker soon?

it's going to be a few months and Kevin's home is a bit tight for all of them. Other men selected are in efficiencies or one bedroom apartments, so they have even greater need for space.

I see a lot of improvement in the context of the story. The only possible flaw I see is that since is less than a year to impact, the level of civil unrest should already on the rise. With the craziness that can arise in all of our heads, all it takes is a demagogue or two to twist a few factoids, and rouse the fringes of society into a howling mob. The disinformation would already be rampant, and I'm sure that in more densely populated area around the globe there would already be riots going on. Still, this is one of the more nicely constructed stories I've seen here on Lit.

The end was really sweet.

Apart from the woah Nelly slow start, I have no complaints. Glad you found an editor and thanks for the recommendations.

This is my second read through. I needed a refresh for the new chapter. I love this story and the editing is great. While the religion stuff early on was not really to my taste the kindness and love the characters show one another makes up for the few cringes. I love the attention to the real life details like the pool fence. Thank you.

Great work with the interaction between the protagonist and Little Nell!!

Having been a father of a mixed marriage with children, the way that you wrote, that was perfect! It is almost the way that I dealt with that issue word for word, and either you went through some things like that or had someone that shared with you This example and it came off perfectly in your writing.

Keep up the great work as it is very much appreciated and enjoyable to read.

Sincerely

Daniel