All Comments on 'The Car Accident Ch. 03'

When they hear the door . . . is a moment in the story that could be improved. While having all this great sex and her dirty talk, she could say to him: Oh, you are such a fucking stud. I'll bet you could fuck and suck two of us while we do you. Ever have a fantasy where you're being fucked by me and another hottie is sitting on your face so you can suck her cunt and put your tongue up her ass? Would you like that? It's okay if you do; I'd love to watch you being dirty with another woman while I'm still fucking or sucking your cock. That is sooo dirty and kinky! It's making me all hot and my cunt is getting sooo wet! Just keep fucking my cunt and let me eat your hot cum. Oh my god! I'm going to cum! Don't stop! Please don't stop. Cum inside me so I can feed your cum to your fantasy girl. You could see us swapping your cum! Oh, I want your cum and I want to put it in her mouth. Would you like seeing two hot bad girls smiling with your cum in their mouths ! ? . . . Then they hear the door open and . . .

When I suggested how to continue the flow and make the story hotter, I was writing in haste and I think it shows. When I re-read what the author had said up until the moment in the story that elicited my comment, it was clear to me that, if it was his desire to follow-up on what I said, he would have to rewrite that portion of the story. I could not, and did not, provide a way to improve the story merely by inserting what I had written