All Comments on 'The Cherry Ceremony Pt. 03 - END'

The inclusion of Ken here decreased this story. And Brandon’s immediate forgiveness of him (while I think meant to be noble) came across very unnatural and unrealistic. Brandon could’ve listened to Ken’s story - did he really ever even apologize, I mean what he did was beyond shitty, it was heartless and brutal - and then just said goodbye. No need to be all chummy, invite him to sleep at your place which allowed him to watch the two men fuck. It was all creepy and gross and IMO out a real damper on the end of this story.

Thank you, Anonymous user, for reading my work!

I'd like to explain a bit of my thought process when going through with this story.

I can see how you find Ken's inclusion to The Cherry Ceremony (CC) to be a hinderance to the overall plot and how my handling of Brandon's forgiveness of him to be a bit too quick. What I was trying to for is to present how Brandon matured over time from being an insecure boy in the first part who couldn't let go of the past to a more grown adult who doesn't let things out of his control define him.

Brandon is the more self-conscious of the couple while Matt if typically outgoing, confident, and at times obnoxious. These are character traits that Brandon admires and wanted to incorporate in his own personality and it is evident with how he quickly welcomes his former backstabber to the party instead of making a big scene (Plus, it is implied that Ken will receive some sort of sexy punishment in the future). From Matt's perspective, we can no longer invade Brandon's mind for why he does the things he does, so we're left as clueless as his boyfriend for what caused such a shift in character. Through Matt's frustration, we can also witness his growth as well, because from a wild frat guy who had a sharp tongue, to someone who is at the very least trying to be more gentle and understanding.

Does that mean Brandon was right in making nice with such a cowardly guy? That's up to the reader, but my characters are college students between 18-21. They are flawed in their thinking, and I think that helps my work stand out when they are not perfect with the right solution for every problem. Their choices on what to do with Ken to how they interact with each other, and so forth are all pretty questionable, but that's the excitement of life. You don't have a blueprint for how these things are supposed to go. The charm of it all is reading about two different kinds of men learning to appreciate one another for who they are. In CC, there are no wild adventures, it's simply two guys in college who are building a relationship out of a hook up.

Forgive me if the finale to CC didn't satisfy you. It was definitely a very hard challenge to complete, but I wanted to have a nice cap off to this story so nobody has to wonder if I'm making any more sequels. As a new erotica author, I welcome these types of comments so I can have a better idea of how to proceed with future stories to make them more desirable to a wider audience. Hopefully, you find interest in my other stories and look forward to more I intend to make in the future.

Thanks again for your input and take care! <3

Realism makes a story believable! I have personally suffered such a betrayal, I will never be completely over what happened! I've learned to live with it somehow, but it never goes away completely!

A betrayal and huge lie from a former best friend that labeled him a sexual predator/rapist is not a small thing or easily overcome, if ever! Ken is a fucking pussy coward, and worse than that he never cared anything about his best friend. He is a typical dumb jock football player! Maybe Brandon knew he was to stupid and full of himself to even realize what he had done! It still makes no sense and would not very likely ever work out between them as this story portrayed! Brandon was devastated, and suffered serious pain, his reputation destroyed by a fucking lie told by a coward to protect himself! Good therapy could help the victim learn to live with such an horrific event, but the way he acted like nothing had ever happened made me sick! It ruined this story for me! Brandon so easily forgiving Ken was so over the top it came across very unrealistic! Matts reaction was more honest and real! I get that the author wanted to show how the characters had grown up over time, but using this unrealistic forgiveness to show that Brando had become a saint and had moved on from such a devastating event at a very hard time in his early life is just ridiculous! There is something missing here, it makes no sense to this reader! I liked the story, but fuck it was all over the map!

Thank you, JRSON, for sharing your opinion about my story.

It’s not easy to know that someone did not fully enjoy my work since writing is a great passion of mine and my intention is to make people happy with my stories. However, I take this as a learning experience for me to practice my craft more often so that my writing can be more well-liked. So, I appreciate you being so honest about what made this final chapter disappointing for you. Without it, I wouldn’t know how to improve.

Kenneth is definitely a controversial character! I am not naive to this. His involvement in the story felt important to me because he was the main conflict between our couple and he was a part of Brandon’s past that caused Brandon to be so jaded in the first place.

Brandon tries to be more forgiving and not allow his past to affect his future. He fights against the desire to ignore Ken and instead embrace him because he knows deep down that hatred will only set him back.

Looking back, I can see how Brandon’s forgiveness can be portrayed as unrealistic or forced. I could improve on this by extending the time Brandon and Ken shared together. Maybe after a few months Ken can make things up to Brandon so his forgiveness is more justified.

People like Ken exist in our world and how we choose to react to them can make or break our own lives. If Brandon continued hating Ken, he would have felt he stepped back into the past and not being grateful for his present with his boyfriend, Matt.

I’m so sorry you had someone in your life that betrayed you and I’m also sorry if my words in any way diminished your trauma or made you think that I was trying to make people like Ken redeemable.

Ken is not a redeemed character. This story was supposed to show Brandon’s victory for overcoming his trauma. He proved he can move forward and have a happy life in spite of Ken’s actions. Being kind to Ken and still living in his truth is the revenge that is best served to such a coward.

I recommend reading, “Apology Accepted” which dives more into Ken’s backstory and how he punishes himself for his misdeeds. It might be cathartic for you, or not, but just know that I absolutely do NOT condone Ken’s actions nor think him being forgiven makes him a good person now.

Forgiveness is more for the one who was hurt, because to forgive is to not let the abuser’s power control your life anymore. Brandon’s forgiveness wasn’t so much for Ken as it was for himself.

Thanks again and take care! <3

I agree with the other comments the Kenneth. It was one thing when Brandon was friendly with him prior to recognizing him but it’s something else for him to be overtly friendly with him at the party AND inviting him to spend the night at his place? As a straight black woman I am in disbelief that Brandon was so easily forgiving of someone who let others believe he raped him. That accusation ruins lives, reputations and has led many innocent people in prison doing real time and Kenneth gets to just gets to walk back into Brandon’s life as though he didn’t cause all this pain in his ex-best friend’s life. Brandon saw a therapist because of this trauma.

And what was up with clueless Lily tryna push a 3some on them with her loser cuzo? The readers don’t want to read that idea not once but twice knowing what we know about Kenneth! And it’s funny how she could be all in Brandon’s face about accepting who he is and not bring ashamed to be gay when her very own flesh and blood hated being gay so much that he egged on three homophobes to beat up his friend. Even Mike’s reaction to Kenneth was unrealistic. He should’ve at least been the one response to him that showed how disgusting and hateful he is..there should’ve been som explosion or repulsion when Lily brought up him being jealous or having a 3dome.

Something is honestly wrong with you imo for writing that bathroom scene and then later on writing him into the story like he’s just a great guy looking to fit in. He is not fit to be around other human beings, especially when he got off scot free from his part in Brandon being attacked. That was a hate crime and should’ve been written as such with not just a damn suspension but facing prison time. Kenneth returning was a bad wrench in the story.

Okay, the way Brandon responded to Kenneth actually made me angry. Having Brandon forgive Kenneth for no justifiable reason really diminishes and undermines the very real suffering Brandon went through.

What Kenneth did to Brandon was violent, malicious, abusive, abhorrent, vile, degrading, cowardly and incredibly cruel. The damage and trauma from that kind of betrayal doesn't just go away because you will it so. From your previous comments I understand that you intend Bran's forgiveness to be a noble gesture, a sign of growth and acceptance, but within the context of the story it comes off extremely baffling and entirely unearned. Kenneth shows no sign of remorse or recognition of the pain he inflicted on Brandon, no amends have been made, no apologies, no guilt, no contrition, nothing.

By not confronting him or holding him accountable for his behaviour - instead, greeting Ken with open arms, offering friendship and inviting him back to his place (!!!) - Brandon isn't placing enough value on himself.

True maturity and growth is about having healthy boundaries, and respecting yourself enough to not let people who have damaged you off the hook and back into your life - especially if they haven't earned it. Otherwise you're just giving them a blank check to inflict more abuse.

I agree with the other comments that how you resolved the ending with Kenneth and Brandon was a huge miscalculation. On both a narrative and character level, it doesn't make sense to the reader at all. In this chapter Brandon reveals to Matt this incredibly traumatic event in his past, something he is clearly deeply affected by - a close friend, who he trusted and cared for, not only violently outed him to bigoted bullies, but also made up a horrendous lie that Brandon tried to sexually abuse him, and then stood by while Brandon was physically assaulted to the point of unconsciousness. Brandon then had to suffer being ostracized from his school/community because of the rumor. Even if Kenneth himself was scared, confused, wrestling with his own sexuality and internalised homophobia, this is a horrific thing to do to someone, let alone a friend.

Brandon hasn't seen Kenneth since graduation, when they (understandably) weren't on speaking terms, and now, a year later, Kenneth randomly appears at this party at Brandon frat - and Brandon pretends nothing happened and acts friendly towards Kenneth ?? What?

Brandon has a RIGHT to be shocked, angry and bitter, and to demand some kind of apology or act of remorse from Kenneth. WHY should Brandon be nice to him? WHY should he trust Kenneth again? WHY should he forgive him? WHY should he extend his care and friendship again? If you don't provide satisfactory justifications for the reader, the whole thing reads hollow. There is no moment of reconciliation between Brandon and Kenneth at all - instead, it's just hand-waved away in one conversation between Matt & Brandon: 'oh yeah, Kenneth was actually really sad about what he did, devastated when I moved away, but now he's come out and found himself in college, I'm happy for him!' what?? This comes from nowhere! It doesn't make sense for Brandon to be confronted with the object of his trauma and magically be okay! It makes no sense to Matt, and it makes no sense to us!

If you want the personal arc for Brandon in this story to be letting go of his past and embracing his future with Matt, you need to show how your characters get from point A to point B - HOW does Brandon move pass his pain to a place of acceptance? HOW and WHY does this growth occur? This emotional evolution needs to feel EARNED to the reader.

Also, the idea that to be a better person you need to embrace your abuser with kindness and 'forgive' without any just cause is so icky to me. It's NATURAL to harbor animosity and ill-feelings towards someone who betrayed and hurt you! People are allowed to have negative emotions! It's healthy to do so! Putting on a 'brave face', pretending to be fine and glossing over what happened is not a healthy response. A true 'victory for overcoming his trauma' would be Brandon actually confronting Kenneth for what he did and holding Kenneth accountable for his actions. That would truly show confidence, growth and emotional maturity. Forgiveness shouldn't be free. It would make more sense that once he's able to really CONFRONT his trauma Brandon's finally able move on and put what happened to him in the past.

Now, I'm not going to even get started on the bizzare sex scene with Kenneth watching - it's really odd to me that there's no indication that Kenneth is shocked at seeing Brandon at the party, or that he feels any bit guilty or understands the weight of his past actions. Nope, he's just happy to crash with the guy he committed a hate crime on, and watch him have sex!

Overall, I understand your intentions with this chapter, but the execution really doesn't work, and it ends up being highly frustrating and unsatisfying for your reader. To introduce this plot point (Brandon's past with Kenneth) and then resolve it a page later gives the reader whiplash, and the emotional beats feel unearned. If you were to rewrite it, Brandon's gradual forgiveness of Kenneth should take place over months, not literally overnight.