The Circus Comes (And Goes) to Town

I had been looking forward to having sex with someone else, particularly with a girl, although the gender didn't much matter to me, at that time I liked guys because that was my only good sexual experience.

I started masturbating pretty late after I turned 18 quite by accident. Since we didn't have a showerhead, the strong water stream accidentally would hit my penis and I held it in that position until I came, I also rubbed one out in the bathroom every chance I got.

When I found myself alone, I looked into my sister's drawer and found her undergarments. Most of her panties were very conservative and I wasn't too interested. She did, however, had a few pairs of lace panties and thongs which I thought were beautiful and reminded me of a family that moved into one of the three apartments in back of our house. The family worked in the circus when it came to town for several months. Marlena, one of the daughters who seemed to be in her early twenties was a contortionist, and performed in tight outfits and in thongs and lace items that I absolutely loved.

Being 20 and still in college and still living at home, we became friends and when she practiced, she would let me come and watch as well as play with her minimal outfits putting them on and off and asking her how I looked. She always said I looked gorgeous and started putting on makeup and painting my nails as I did hers, It was a shame that I had to undo all that before leaving her house. I got the idea that I would move out of my parent's house as soon as possible so I could play in private all I wanted and maybe join the circus myself although I had no special talents and would be relegated to minor tasks. Marlena of course, would not be part of this as the circus would have moved on by then. We did what we could and Marlena took it so much in stride that I thought this was the way to live without being judged by other people, just having fun.

Marlena had a brother that was also part of the circus a year or two older than her, he was a trapeze performer named Luis. I was introduced to him by Marlena when he came in to her area and caught me giving her a pedicure after I had my nails painted and body makeup applied. Luis didn't bat an eye and Marlena told Luis that I was getting quite good at it and volunteered me to work on him. I became very excited as for his performance Luis had to shave his body, apply makeup to his upper body, squeeze into his tight white leggings that showed every part of his anatomy. Luis told me to come to his area when I was done.

Luis was not into drama and treated dressing up as something natural since he had to do it twice a day wearing tights that showed his private parts as if they were painted on their crotches in 3D. It was exciting to go to Luis being asked to apply makeup to his chest while he did his face, this brought me down to stare closely at his upper body with his cock less than a foot away. When I was done he asked me to put on his sandals as well as his leggings where I had to arrange his cock and balls for maximum effect. I was so nervous when handling his privates that his cock got hard and I couldn't do it as my body was shaking and when he was done with his face he patiently showed me how to place his equipment so that it would show well when he was hard as well as flaccid.

I was so proud of myself when he performed and couldn't take my eyes off his cock and balls and made it a point to come to Luis after Marlena and show him that I had learned my lesson though the nervousness and anxiety never went away. Luis also wanted to show me how to overcome those feelings and when I did his torso the next day he didn't wear anything down below and his cock that had become hardened kept hitting me softly as we went to work adorning his body. Before reaching for the white leggings he held my head in place with one hand, held my chin down opening my mouth while he brought his erect penis directly into it where I waited ready with my tongue to suck on his beautiful, though smaller equipment. I asked Luis if he would allow me to do this every time I helped him dress and he assured me he would, keeping his promise until the circus left our town. By that time I was an experienced cocksucker and was proud of it.

I had grown up with women all my life and identified with them more than with my brothers and other guys, not that I did not act or behaved like a guy, I was prompt to fight with anyone when I felt threatened or insulted, but I had a private life as well, as I held my sister's panties and thongs in my hands and against my body and thought how exciting it would be to be a girl like Marlena or a plaything for Luis, traveling with the circus as I put on my sister's undergarments thinking they looked better on me than on Marlena and definitely Luis.

When looking at myself in the mirror I remembered my love for Marlena, as she was a contortionist I practiced contorting my body the way Marlena did, it never worked, I was, however, able to bend my body enough to give myself a blowjob several times a day, the more I did it the limber I became and was able to put my entire small penis as well as my balls in my mouth. I thought I had become obsessed with this activity until I had to almost stop due to my sister inquiring about her undergarments being stretched and told me not to over dry them. I'm glad that she arrived at that conclusion as had she come earlier in the day she would have gotten a different picture of me lying in the middle of the living room, bent over in her undergarments, sucking myself and swallowing my cum which tasted wonderful as I am told still does.

I started looking at myself in the mirror in a different way more like Luis looked at himself, considering myself sexy as a guy as well as a girl, nothing wrong with that, I thought, and attached no guilt to how I felt.

As well as masturbating, I pleased myself in other ways, such as practicing anal sex with whatever phallic objects I could find around the house and found out how pleasurable this was if I used plenty of oil and go really slow. I went to the store and saw a cucumber, I thought I would try it on myself. Using olive oil on both the cucumber and a lot in my ass as far as my fingers would go, I slipped the cucumber very slowly, and didn't make much progress until I found out that pushing my anus out I could make it dilate and relax so that it went in smoothly an inch or so each time until it was all but the end inside which I did not want to let go afraid it would be stuck in there.

It hurt the first time it slipped in, it was more of a stinging, stretching feeling rather than pain, but as I worked it in and out a little at a time and I completely relaxed my ass it finally relented. I was afraid I was going to suck it in and not be able to take it out, so I kept doing it in and out only about an inch or two whenever I could until I got tired of it as it took less time to masturbate.

I finally moved out of my parent's house and rented a room at a clean weekly hotel with a bathroom down the hall and a sink in the room. I had also met a girl named Marta that also lived in the building. She was quite an open person and had no objections to groping, kissing, and I was in heaven when I mustered enough courage to finger her pussy, more surprised at how easily she allowed me to slip it in as I was expecting some resistance to what I was trying to do. I also experienced my first girl blowjob from her and was again hooked both receiving and giving, but with a girl this time, her soft shaved pussy felt wonderful when I put my mouth on it, I could lick it for hours, initially licking her pussy lips and clitoris softly until she started pulling my hair and head forcefully against her pussy and I started doing it roughly with several fingers in her pussy and her achieving stronger and more orgasms. She seemed to go from being calm and patient to becoming a wild girl that I loved as she got hornier and hornier. Since we both lived alone in our respective rooms we had no privacy issues and I thought I was in love.

It didn't occur to me to compare Pito and Marta, I only knew that I liked both of them loving the texture of a cock and the softness of a pussy. Because Martha was more experienced, I learned a lot from her and we played more often with each other, I enjoyed her a lot more and could inspect, lick and admire every inch of her body. We talked a lot about our lives and experiences, she was very clear that she was bisexual and I thought I must be also since I had boy-boy experiences. We never engaged in activities other than her and I alone while we had fun with each other. We felt so comfortable fucking, making love, talking and just plain being with each other.

As all things, it seemed, must come to an end, she got word that her mother was ill and had to go back to Arkansas, we tried to communicate through emails but that dwindled and in a couple of months disappeared altogether.

In a few months I had become intimate with Pito, Martha, Marlena and Luis and loved not having to explain or feel bad about my sexuality, no gender issues at that time.