The Collaring of Chloe Ch. 21

"So, you okay?" Mittens asked her after a moment, the question seeming innocent, but also a little knowing. Chloe considered that Mittens might well have overheard some or all of her conversation with Shawn.

"Right now, I am." She replied softly. "I'm just working through some things."

Mittens nuzzled against her, in a perfect impression of a real cat, even making a sound that resembled a purr. "I know." She said simply. "And I'm here when you're ready."

"I really do love you so much, you know that?" Chloe said, feeling a stir of deep emotion, a draw to this girl so complete that it reminded her of why it was that she'd instantly fallen for her.

"I knows." Mittens replied cutely, booping Chloe's nose gently with a paw. "I's hard not ta wuv."

It made Chloe sincerely laugh and then she gave in to that urge to express her feelings physically, her lips gravitating to Mittens' left nipple like it was a magnet. She suckled it caringly, her other hand massaging the right breast while she did. Within moments, they were entangled into each other, kissing and rubbing, mouths traveling about one another. It was not an act of lust, but one of love. Their administrations passionate and emotive. It felt like they were radiating light, filling the room, the house, the world, with their utter love.

Though they began on the couch, an hour later found them on the floor, wrapped together in a quilt and clinging to one another tightly. It made Chloe feel so incredibly safe and secure, as though nothing bad could reach them beneath the blanket. Not her guilt, not her self-confusion, not even her anger at PinWheelSoul. Within the cocoon of the quilt there was only Mittens and love.

"I'm sorry I've been such a mess lately." Chloe whispered to her.

"We're all messes." Mittens whispered back, smiling her most charming grin. "You're just one of us."

Chloe gave a laugh. "Good to know." She gave the little catgirl a kiss. "I'm just glad I have you and Master. It sometimes feels almost too good to be true."

"Which is why you're so afraid you're going to mess it up, huh?" The question was accompanied by a slightly amused look.

Chloe peered at her a moment, a little off-footed by the response and that knowing sense that her sister submissive seemed to give it. "Yeah, I suppose so." She said after a moment, her eyes drifting closed for a few moments. She felt Mittens give her a kiss on the forehead, was dimly aware that it was the exact same spot Shawn had put his.

"You nots gonna lose us." Mittens whispered to her, her tone light and cute, but also tender. "We nots goin' nowheres. We all abouts the sharin'."

Despite herself, Chloe giggled at the words, unable to feel anything but joy with Mittens around her. "I wish I knew how you do it, Mittens. You don't ever seem to get jealous or possessive."

There was a long pause before Mittens responded, her tone now much more somber. "I do. More than I let on. I don't think it's possible not to. It's just about not letting it be what controls you." After another moment, her grin returned. "And it's so hilarious that you marvel at how okay I always seem to be with you and Master or even you and anyone else."

Chloe peered at her in confusion. "What do you mean? Why?"

Mittens laughed, her smile widening to expose all four pointy teeth. "Because I'm the one who's always amazed at how unjealous you are. You're always remarking about how well I share, but you've never once blinked an eye at me with Master or when I play with Butterfly or with anyone else. I don't think you pay much attention to your own ability to share, Chloe."

For a long moment, Chloe was struck completely dumb, realizing only for the first time just how easily she had accepted everything and everyone that was a part of her Master and Mittens' lives. Sure, she'd felt little twinges of jealousy, but nothing that had ever been more than a flash and never anything strong. Maybe it was because she'd already prepared herself to be just a possession of someone, without any expectation of fidelity or monogamy. Still, there was a difference between being prepared to accept jealousy and not really feeling much of it.

For a long moment, all sorts of things began to ping-pong through Chloe's brain, growing ever more negative and frightening with each rebound. Did it mean that she was just really open? Or that she was just that good of a slave to have set it aside so well? Or did it mean that maybe she didn't feel what she thought? Did she not feel jealous because she wasn't really in love, just wanted to believe she was? Was that why she wanted to be a 'real slave' so much, to hide the fact that she didn't have the emotional connection that normally comes with the more traditional ideal of a lifestyle slave? Was it all just—

"You love us." Mittens said suddenly, putting a paw on the side of Chloe's face. Her eyes looked firmly into Chloe's, looked into her soul. "Don't start doubting that."

Chloe was so shocked by how perfectly Mittens had seemed to have read her mind that she couldn't find words to respond. She just goggled at the catgirl in surprise at her perceptiveness.

"I know because I've had the moment that you're having right now." She explained softly. "I questioned my own devotion in the beginning too. We've always been polyamorus, though you are first real addition to the core relationship. We're programmed by society to think we're supposed to be monogamous, so we feel like something must be wrong when we find ourselves okay with sharing the people we love."

She brushed Chloe's face with a paw. "If you didn't love us so much, all these things, August, PinWheel, everything else bothering you, they wouldn't bother you so much. You wouldn't be so afraid of losing us."

The rush of sincere gratitude and adoration of this incredible girl filled Chloe so completely that all other thoughts were pushed out. She barely had time to smile her relief before she found herself kissing Mittens again, expressing her feelings the most effective way she could. The sense of safety returned to their little quilt burrito and remained there.

Still, at the back of her mind, Chloe knew that all these things weighing on her still waited outside of it. And she knew that Shawn was right, more than ever, that she needed to actually understand why it was that she needed to be a 'real slave' so much. She was feeling more and more that there was a greater truth of herself hidden away in that knowledge.

And until she found it, there would be no real safe emotional place for her. Quilt burritos or not.