All Comments on 'The Convent Pt. 02'

Ryan's agony was nothing compared to the agony of reading this.

Thank you for the comment, Anonymous. If this type of story simply isn't your cup of tea, then so be it. But if you feel the story could have been better written, structured, paced, etc, then happy to hear how.

xxx Zenna

I hope we get to see a detailed account of how his girlfriend was "persuaded" to become and obidient cultist, too.

About the agony... What's the rush? You hurry from this nasty bit to that nasty bit but you don't describe what's in it for any of the characters. Clearly they are all deeply troubled souls but you don't offer any windows. The a characters are autonotomic. And every procedure is glossed over. If you want to convey agony, describe what causes it. His penis and balls disappeared overnight? How? Give us details so we can squirm. Let us into the mind of the castrator. Do they squirm too?

Thanks Anonymous, those are valid points. I’ve chosen in the first few episodes of this series to focus on the totality of what is happening to Ryan, but I appreciate some readers may have preferred more blow by blow detail. Parts 4 and 5 will follow Ryan over the course of one traumatic day. And we do eventually get to discover why the Order is doing what they do, as well as revisiting what happened to his girlfriend. I’m sorry if that ends up being too little too late! But thanks for taking the time to explain what you see as wrong with the story.

xxx Zenns

The non-sense about the voice was a big drawback about the credibility of this story. Also, more inner thoughts for all of the characters would help. Sometimes too much detail is left out , from head to toe is meant to describe the man is now bald? And why is he supposed to be permanently devoid of hair? Does this include his head? Why? When you add almost magical details such as hair not growing back and even the electric plug (wouldn't a more plausible shock collar would do (a shock to the inside of the rectum can cause too much permanent damage). Fixing implausible details and letting us know what all the characters are thinking would fulfill the reader and makes it more believable. But I think you are capable of keeping our interest. Keep going!

Not enough fight. He wants free, but in the course of a day, he's taking drugs and having surgery without so much as a fuss. A lot of stories make this mistake. Someone held against their will, will fight with incredible strength, avoid food and drink and mentally take incredible pain. Death is far better than being taken and held.

am surprised he never tryed to kill hmself any straight man if he cant fight back then he would try and kill himself am not saying he would succeed but he would try plus try and kill one of the nuns