All Comments on 'The Curse of the Scots Ch. 05'

Keep them coming. A very nice read.

I hate to think of the pain we're in store for.

keep it up.Fine tale

Please don't pull a mikoli...

I am enjoying the story, but you're having an issue with POV and tenses. The last few pargraphs are examples of going from first person to third (narrative) with no transition. It gets confusing at times. You've made the characters real, and flawed, as we all are. That is the glue holding this story together. This story is character driven and quite interesting.

Will be kinda sad when the story is over.

through #4 and will stay to the end. usually download and read off line. never vote because difficult to track back 2 days or a week.

different style butenjoyable

Agree with HDK's comments -- an editor would really improve things. Cayden has money, believes in hard work, and like most men, he tries to solve problems. So why does he lose every fight, and why is he wimpy and timid in certain respects? He should have taken self-defense training long ago -- why hasn't he? He started out as a decisive man, buying the whore to save her life despite the risks, and now? He seems like a lost puppy. And we mustn't forget about Vince or whatever his name is, who plans to come get Caprice and kill Cayden -- that's been on the back burner for a while, I guess. I hope Cayden at least knows how to use a gun . . .

Looking forward to ch. 6!

You start well but you keep making cayden wimpier from chapter to chapter , its close to exagerating , in my opinion grow for the love of god some balls to cayden, or you will ruin a great story

It seems like you have at least two of your characters on the right track, but somehow I feel you are compelled to screw it up in the next two chapters. Nonetheless, I will keep dutifully reading, hoping for a happy ending for Caprice, with Cayden thinking he is in control and not having a clue.

I do agree with some earlier comments that Cayden's character seems a bit out of wack with his earlier military career training.

Hi! I read your comments.

Your comment about the tenses was nice but unnecessary. I've seen this before with HDK. He'll cite something and everybody else follows him. HDK will find a good story and get pedantic. He's just a little cheesy that way sometimes, maybe just a tiny bit envious. Tell the truth; most the good writers do comment on those kinds of errors, but they usually send private emails. Sorry, but HDK likes to snipe, but at least he doesn't do it anonymously.

About Cayden and about Vince. Cayden did act decisively in Pennsylvania. Weren't you just a little proud of him? Women really aren't a topic he's ever been comfortable with. You should have gotten that by now. You've read five chapters; who knows maybe Cayden will grow some balls. I have high hopes.

About the fighting thing. I thought he did well against Aaron Giles. Sure he got his ass kicked, but he didn't quit. When Bernard Keith had Angie in the back room he went in alone with no regard to his personal safety and without any special training. Who's more courageous; the guy who knows he can fight and goes in or the guy who knows he doesn't have a chance but goes in anyway? Remember reading 'The Song of Roland'? How about the Alamo? There's no glory in fighting when you know you're going to win; the glory comes when you know you're going to get your ass kicked.

Cayden's a workaholic; he's just not the type to spend a lot of time and money on learning how to fight. Cayden's view might be; why bother with something I'll probably never use when I could be mucking out a stable or tuning up a tractor.

About Vince; sure Caprice might interest him, but he's a businessman doing things in shady areas, one whore more or less, who really cares? Remember Caprice is already well past her prime as it relates to what Vince uses them for. There are dozens of younger, prettier, and more easily managed girls out there. Sure he might show up, he might not. We'll have to see.

Back to Cayden; he's a damn good businessman, a hell of a farmer, great with animals, a fantastic worker but not real good with people, and women are a complete mystery. Normally I'd expect a man like that to retreat, just work, and mope, and feel sorry for himself until he grows old, becomes a real recluse, and dies. If he steps up; now that would be really out of character. I mean he'd have to have some pretty powerful feelings to escape a comfort, or discomfort, zone he's lived in almost all his life.

Tell you Vulcan I really like these people. I've been fooling with this thing off and on for most of 2013. I'm rooting for Cayden, but if he stepped up now I'd probably get a dozen comments bitching about how the main character did a personality flip. I mean will he step up and stake his claim to the three girls he loves, or will he end up like his old uncles, just another lonely old man wishing he'd... well...

Glad you have two more Chapters - keep 'em coming.

Hope he manages to get hold of Emily - but it's your story to tell,and I'm enjoying it.

....ignore the followers of the nay-sayers,and remember I'll send the girls around if.....

thanks for your work.

Cayden was x military. The military spend a lot of time teaching people how to FIGHT. The inept performances you describe just don't jive with that background.

It's an interesting story but somehow none of the characters come off as loveable nor do they seem to really mesh. Their emotions seem really disjointed and their responses unrealistic considering the scenario.

Gordo - A lot of people are ex-military. Military doesn't turn you into a master-asskicker, and it means even less if your opponent also has been in the military. In fact, I'll point out the old truism - no matter how strong you are, there's always stronger, and the simple fact is that ex-military is not the top-tier of skill or even close. The man's a farmer. He doesn't spend his time honing his fighting skills to take on bar-room thugs who know all about brawling.

The sexual aspects are very strange. Perhaps they will bind now. But there is an incomplete triangle. I am not very happy with the way Angie treats Emily. She has the right to know her father. Angie knows that he is responsible for a lot of good deeds and deserves to be thanked by Emily for the pony.

I have enjoyed each segment and look forward to the rest. Your work shows a lot of promise and I hope that you will continue to write. Your grammar and punctuation are not perfect, but they do not detract from my enjoyment of the stories and you will get better with practice. Keep at it and thanks for your contributions to this site!

is an old Drifters song, not Sam Cooke.

There are many Military Occupational Specialties that don't require any ability in hand-to-hand combat. So, I'm not sure that's a valid criticism. In fact, the criticisms I've read concentrate on picayune minutia.

The story chugs along. kind of the calm before the storm. Keep it going. I gave this chapter a 4 after 5s for the others.

Either I have been overlooking hints or behavior traits, or Hubby has had something of a character drift in this chapter. When it came to him wanting to examine her asshole and kiss private parts, I thought it was a dream sequence! Eventually, it became likely that these are REAL Cayden intrusions!

It also seems that he is neglecting a fairly large personal farming enterprise! Hubby seems to have infinite time to tend to rehab, not much for feeding horses and chickens, etc.

4.5. just barely ekes out the 5*

A little to much female on female. Now comes the harder chapter s , does he tell her parents she is alive . Well I guess well see how this all turns out

OK, it got a little weird on page 2, with the depends and intimate kissing....all a little disjointed.

But overall the story continues to be engaging and entertaining.

Looking forward to ch6!

Been following your story since it first appeared. You have me invested in the three (4 with Emily) main characters. I am anxious to continue this intimate look into their lives. That you’ve made readers care about the people in your writing must be its own reward. Anticipating and dreading the next installment. Anticipating because I’m anxious to see where you take them and dreading because I don’t want this story to end. 5 STARS (at least!)

Overall still a good storyline. I understand that you were trying to communicate how emotionally confused these three are, but the dialogue was not crisp enough to get that across. Instead, it simply came across as confusing to read. A few times I got lost in the mix.

I don't understand any of these people and the decisions they make in this story. It seems the only normally sane person in this story is the pastor. I really liked the first 3 chapters but the last 2 have tanked. Why in all of these stories do people go to dances with someone and never dance with that person. I have been to a million different clubs or dances around town and there are not a bunch of guys asking a girl who is obviously with someone else to dance all night. It just simply does not happen except in stories on Literotica. Do you guys go out with a lady and guys ask her to dance all night long?

Getting a little strange. This seems to be going in many different directions. Although the ending was nice, I don't like the way everything else is going. And is there a wild card with the pimp Vince showing up? We'll see...

Where is the curse? 5

As to the typical Annony, Get an account and grow some fucking balls. Still a great story. Still...anxious as to how it turns out.

ones ego must be assuaged and free. TK U MLJ LV NV

With these last 2 chapters, I'm starting to lose all respect for Cayden. He is being led around by these 2 women and not in a good way. The ex-whore is a cheater and the ex-wife is just a poor excuse for a human being. Neither have any admirable traits. I was rooting for the ex-whore in the first 3 chapters, now I don't really care for her.

Still enjoying the story immensely 😀

I just did not enjoy this chapter. I didn’t like the now virginal caprice nor Angie. It was like the story was “treading water”. I am not checking any stars on purpose. I will read the next chapter as I have time invested in this story

I gave the first three chapters each five stars. Chapter four was a three and this chapter was one star. Disappointing. Hope it finishes strong.

It started great, then both girls started to treat the poor guy like shit... after they knew what he'd been through.

....

I am jealous for Cayden!!! No way would I put up with MY woman dancing with every man there!!! Also, I would tell Angie to stay away from Caprice. No lesbos in my house!!!

Cayden got repeatedly shit on by everyone this chapter. Of course this is typical in real life too. Women get all sorts of help and concern while men are just expected to deal with their problems on their own. Situations exactly like this chapter are things that drive many many men to actual suicide. He does all of these things for others and absolutely no one does anything for him and they just take advantage of him.

Oh the angst is just so infuriating, Caprice is doing the wrong thing with Angie and Angie is just being sooo stupid. I wonder when Camden have enough of all of this shit and put his foot down.

Great story. Love the suspense.

Really hope this great story and these absorbing characters are heading in the direction every reader wants.

A sweet end to the chapter. I just hope they find the happiness they deserve.