All Comments on 'The Darkest Deal'

You have a strong writing style, but sometimes you use the wrong word or there are punctuation errors. The latter happen and can be ignored, but the former can be jarring. An example is using the word 'trial' instead of 'trail.'

The letter itself as a second example:

'Dennis Gravees was killed during a prison riot. He suffered a head wound that resulted in his almost instant death. Enclosed is a cheque as compensation.

This is a fairly short piece so a little more explanation of how things went awry might help. If I gather correctly, a partial French accent is enough to cause one to "disappear"? And why would the result of someone receiving compensation for a wrongful death result in visits by soldiers or make the protagonist a pariah?

Do you have someone to help proofread for you? Again, you have a good, strong style but need help with cleaning up the details. Keep at it!