All Comments on 'The Day Everything Changed Ch. 03'

Since you're asking for constructive criticism, I really really enjoyed chapter 1 of your story. The characters are bashful, and the main character isn't being too overt. There's an feeling of "oops", and all the actions can reasonably be explained away as an accident (by the main character).

Chapters 2 and 3 seem to have lost that "accidentally on purpose" feeling, and the characters are too overt.

This is just my opinion of course, and others may disagree.

Hot .... Erotica girl in heat ... But write Litt lle more lengthy and fast...

Desi girl being slut she is ... Nice girl is can to be whore ... everything is good as of now but continue with next to real things can happen don't be over impossible things that can be done by a girl...

Thank you so much! I love how you describe every scene - makes it much easier to imagine. Eagerly awaiting your next story!

After a long time a good Indian story teller and new interesting situations. Great writing. Already a fan.

Honest opinion:

The first 2 parts were really great! And I was looking forward to this part. But I felt this interaction with the passport official was a little uncalled for. Given there are two boys already waiting in the story, they didn't have any significant role over here, hence, a little disappointed.

But that also now depends on how you take the story from here, and how you can come back with a bang on what happens upstairs now.

A little disappointed with this one, but I am expecting you to come back in a really good way for the next part.

P.S: Also, the pace seems a little slow, it can increase a bit.

People like girl adventure and newness and always don't stick to same thing or people have emotions it will have great hit

Hey! Don't leave us hanging like this.....waiting for the next chapter make it a good one! wink

Extremely well written. It keeps us hooked till the end without being hackneyed and crass.

Waiting for the next installment.

Eagerly refreshing your profile to see when the next part will drop!

I would suggest to let the girl keep her agency and be the one leading the interactions

When will you update? I’m looking forward to the next part

Gorgeous!