The Deal Ch. 02

Noticeably improved writing and dialog this chapter, nice.

Very annoying this Julia. He ate her out like 5 times without her returning the favor in anyway. Her pussy is not as good as Eve also.. whats her damned worth? Also this mc cries like 3/4 times per hour.. im at page 4 of this ch and its really annoying

The premise is good. A guy who made a contract with a demon without selling his soul. My only problem is Energy Harvesting. The guys know demons need energy, no souls as popular belief. Soul have a lot of energy, hence why demons collect them. And here lies my problem. He made a contract to collect energy, not only souls. Energy Harvesting allows him to absorb any type of energy and transform it into mana, even the negative energy like the seven sins. But we never see him do this. He just harvests souls for mana, which is a waste of his ability when he can gain energy from so many other things.

This is the only story I've ever written comments for. It is that well written. I do not have money for patreon because I am poor but I will continue to follow the story from here. Keep up the great work.

~HaremLover

I decided to do what scorge30 mentioned and start a Patreon. I will continue to post the chapters on here as well, but the chapters released on Patreon will be a bit different. The stories will contain the same content, but the rpg elements have been enhanced. To see what I mean I've offered the alternate version of Chapter 1 for free on my Patreon page. If you are interested please visit the link at the bottom of this comment. I won't be delaying the release of chapters here on Literotica. I will post the new chapter on Patreon at the same time I send the chapter into review on Literotica so there will probably be around a 2 day difference in release dates. I hope that you will all continue to support me either here on Literotica or on Patreon. So long as people are enjoying my stories I'm happy.

https://www.patreon.com/PureEvil

As for character development, seems good so far, if maybe a bit condensed. Character motivations are clear enough (except for, maybe, Eve) if not a bit one-dimensional, nothing that can't be improved though. Overall, pretty good story with plenty of potential for growth and improvement. Hopefully chapter three comes out soon.

I have thought about it, but for starters I'm unsure of how it works and secondly I'd rather provide the story for free so more people can enjoy it. Not everyone would be willing to pay in order to read the story after all.

I hope that there will be more to this story. Have you considered doing a Patreon page helping support your writing?

I've started a new twitter account to keep my readers informed about the progress of my stories. If you are interested the information is available in my profile.

Interesting concept, and fun story. Keep it rolling! When can we expect the next few chapters?

So inventive, fresh, and hot! I'm looking forward to lots more!

Essentially what I was trying to do is establish how he sees the world. With that done the gamer information is going to decrease and basically just gonna become he'll provide info for new abilities, perks, titles, achievements etc but other than that it'll be minimal.

This series reminds me of Daniel Black by E. William Brown (one of my favorite book series). The character and world building sets the feeling of almost unlimited potential, you (the MC) just gotta figure out how to advance to the next step. It is a setup I, as a gamer, can appreciate alot sence it follows the gaming formula of starting at 0 and get small, increasing rewards, as you dive deeper in the world we are experiencing together with the main character.

Keep the indepth information when "Analyzing" about people low, and relevant to the MC (is the MC interested enough about the person to keep digging for more information? Is the info really important enough to the story and the reader or is a quick description better? info overload can force readers to lose the flow and feel they have to skip the wall of text and maybe lose some important data. Just a heads up for the future, sence so far so good!)

Personally i find it far easier to read numbers, for example: "1234 exp to 2234 exp", instead of "one thousand two hundred thirty four". This is much more relevant for more complex and highter numbers but usefull at lower and simple numbers all the same.

Keep the goodies coming! :)

I like your concept about starting a party, and the way they increase powers etc, keep the chapters flowing, preferrably without so long between them. Cheers and keep up the good story.

I appreciate the comment about the overuse of numbers that's definitely something I'll look into. To Rockaflocka I appreciate your comment about the overuse of him saying I activate such and such during sex. I'll definitely try to reduce that to make the story flow better. Last to Xobtik thanks for pointing out that little mistake I'll try to be more careful in the future.

The story was great. I loved it and hopefully u will finish it. It has great potential.

I just noticed one mistake, when eve is explaining about gluttony demon u mentioned greed demons in one para instead of gluttony demons. The para was about the combat strength of the demons