All Comments on 'The Disappearing Dream'

It lessened the tone of the story. You might also consider having someone read your story first to help with the run on sentences and punctuation.

Hey, I don't want to sound like an English teacher, but way too many boneheaded mistakes. Couldn't get past them to enjoy the story.

What the hell was this all about? two whores fuck up a marriage or three and then you complain about the state of the country? And next time put this type of story in the FETISH category or NON-erotic there was nothing erotic about this story, and if this is your fantasy? get help real soon.

Firstly it would have been a good story if you had refrained from swapping tenses. This detracted from what the story was about. Surely you could have put the thoughts of the writer into the thoughts of the character in a much better way. Grammer and spelling also need work, if in doubt find an editor. Do not rely solely on the computer.