The Economist in Love Pt. 01

He was very late so Justine had taken the opportunity to run through some of her yoga. It came from her mother Nola's interest in both yoga and meditation, and her lifetime interest in eastern religions despite being Anglican. Although mainly taught by her mother Justine thought of herself as a practitioner of the more contemporary mindfulness Yoga.

She had her blanket laid out in the glade and she was fully naked as she ran through a series of asanas for her exercise. She was totally absorbed in her yoga when Nikau finally arrived. The asana of the moment involved her getting down on her haunches then lifting her feet off the floor by taking the weight on the palms of her hands. For a young lad standing behind a naked woman doing this, he would have a clear view of her nether regions and it would be quite erotic.

Justine finishing this routine flipped over to do the wheel asana. As she did so she dropped flat on her back to see Nikau standing there. The naked Nikau was Māori but an apparition of a bronze Greek god. And he sported an equally impressive standing ovation to Justine's disposition.

Not wasting time nikau dropped to his hands and feet and started to spider his way toward Justine with the obvious intention of a missionary plug in. The image of him doing this with his appendage swaying underneath immediately brought to Justine's mind the image of the black stallion of days earlier. It was no coincidence then that her first utterance was, "Nikau! Hold your horses!"

Nikau stopped and sat down with grin and a giggle which Justine was to recognize and love as part of Nikaus cheerful outlook of life in general.

"Hey Mrs. T, I thought that was what we were here for."

As things had developed it was not what Justine rationalized as what she was doing. She replied, "No I am not a prostitute Nikau. Let's get to know each other first." Justine went on. "For starters, are you with the church with all the other lads."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I take it you are not very impressed with the church."

"I don't go with all this Jesus stuff. The Pastor is pretty stink."

"What's wrong with him?"

"It's not just him. They're all pretty hard out in that place. The girls all think Jesus shines out of his arse. Every one of them our age has signed the purity pledge."

"Well, he must be pretty charismatic, and it is their choice."

"I don't think that is all true. Any way worse still, you have met Ben haven't you."

"Yes."

"Well don't tell him I told you, but he had an older brother. We all thought he was one cool dude. He used to do some of the church youth work with us. I used to idolize him, and I guess we all did.

Anyway, one day he just disappeared and when we asked where he went, we were told not to worry, he was a sinner and he had been sent away for conversion therapy."

"I didn't think that was legal."

"I dunno, that's what they told us, then they threatened us that if we became sinners the same would happen."

"That's horrible."

"That's not the worst of it. Have you met Noah and Shane?"

"Not yet."

"Well, when you do you will understand a few things. Any hoo, next minute Ben's brother topped himself. Hung himself."

"Oh my god. How did that it make you all feel."

"Fucking pissed off with the church, that's for real."

"What about Ben?"

"He hates his father and hates the Pastor. He can't wait to get out of here fast enough."

"But I understand he does a lot of work still for the church."

"Yeah, he is keeping is head down. He doesn't want to make waves until he is well clear of here. They have the power you know. Ben's pretty staunch, you know. We are all staunch. That is why we are what we are. That is why we get together at our secret pool."

Nikau was quivering as he said all this. Justine could sense the emotion. Changing the subject to calm the farm, Justine moved on," So, Nikau where are you going from here?"

"I am doing a medical intermediate."

"Doctor?"

"Yeah, of some sort. I already have a scholarship. I'll show those pricks at the church."

They continued to chat, Nikau calming down, their bodies calming. Eventually Justine crossed the divide and caressed his cheek. This turned into a deep kiss and their love making commenced.

It became rapidly obvious to Justine that Nikau was not behaving like a virgin and seemed confident in what he was doing. He went down on her very quickly and being unexpected it made her very aroused. Eventually his persistent stimulation gave her a strong orgasm.

As a reward he wanted to take her from behind and Justine allowed him providing he kept out of her arse. He came quite quickly and then he turned her over gently but with strength and they lay in a long embrace. Eventually they sat up. Justine retrieved some tissues from her little purse and the wiped each other's secretions away.

This was done in silence. Justine finally spoke. "Hey, Joshua said all you guys were virgins. You did not seem like a virgin to me."

Nikau just smiled his infectious smile but did not reply.

Justine continued, "Let me guess, you have a girlfriend, don't you?"

This time she got a giggle in reply.

"Is she one of the girls from the church?"

This time she got a slight nod from Nikau.

"Ok now I've got it. You haven't told the other guys because if the church found out you might lose your scholarship or something."

Nikau did not speak. He just raised his head and lifted his eyebrows in that typical Māori gesture of the affirmative.

"Thank you, Nikau, for your tenderness, thoughtfulness and attention to me. I really appreciated it. Do you do this for your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, Nah...."

"Well, you should. She would appreciate it as well."

"There was a short pause in the conversation. Justine could see there was something Nikau wanted to ask, and she patiently waited for him."

"Mrs. T, ah, will we be meeting again. Like next week."

"Joshua wanted us to carry on. I am a bit uncomfortable about it, but I can honestly say from the things I hear from you guys, that you will get some benefit from it, but only if you keep absolutely quiet about it."

"We will, Mrs. T. We have talked about it, and we are staunch about that too."

"OK, well we will see how we go with Noah and Shayne."

"Oh, you will be alright with them."

"I will look forward to it then."

"What I wanted to ask was.... will you let me bum you?"

Justine's jaw dropped and Nikau seemed to go into a quiet panic pinching his bottom lip where the audacious question had come from.

The reply therefore caught Nikau by surprise, after a short pause Justine just said, "OK."

Then noting the look of sudden glee on his face, "But I have to prepare for you, and you must do exactly as I say. Be tender."

"Wow Mrs. T, that's massive. Yes, double please."

When he had calmed down a little, he had a request. Jacob told me about your weird teas. Can we have some now I would like to try them out."

It seemed like an urge to get to know her better and Justine was happy to oblige. They retired to the house, and both partook tea. Naked of course.

Nikau told her of his background, his whanau and his tribal relationship. Justine was entranced. He loved talking about all this stuff and at one point the emotion got to him, and he sang a short waiata. (Māori song) He concluded with a note of bitterness. "You know the pastor doesn't want to know about all this stuff. He just wants me to be a good white boy."

******

Noah and Shayne

Another warm morning, Justine had moved a small bench seat into the glade. She placed it on a sun-drenched corner and contemplated how she might develop the glade. It would be perfect for an outside office she thought and made a mental note to extend the wifi. Where the bush track joined, she thought of creating a moon gate.

Glancing at her watch she noted that Noah was due soon. For today she was dressed in a floral blouse and denim jeans. By what the other lads had inferred, Noah and Shane might be an item. She wondered if Joshua had told them about her having been gay when she was younger.

The realization then dawned on her about where this was all going. It had started with a moment of madness, a weird sexual opportunity where in her own mental state she was unable to resist. Despite her initial remorse she had allowed it to become a daily habit where she denied the risks to the point where having sex with these lads was a craving that she had not the will to sensibly stop.

Beyond the sex she was being drawn into their world and the reason why they were doing it themselves. They were old enough to understand the risks to her and to themselves.

She still did not fully understand this. They had cut themselves off from the values of the church and what they had gleaned from the internet and their expectations of the university world they were entering they were searching for a new order with more inclusive values. It seemed the suicide of Bens brother affected this group profoundly and they had become acutely aware of the consequences of the pastor's blind beliefs.

Justine felt she was being drawn into some form of counsellor role which she was not prepared or trained for. It must have been at the back of her mind when she dressed. She was hardly dressed in preparation for morning sex.

Her intuition was proved right when, not just Noah, but Shayne arrived as well. Appearing along the track came two slender dark-haired lads. One wore a cap, the other had an oversized pair of red rimmed glasses. Both were wearing island shirts over their baggy swimming trunks. Both were well groomed and entered the glade in a cloud of aftershave. Neither were smiling on greeting her.

"Hello Mrs. T, I am sorry that there are two of us, we really just wanted to talk. "

It was the lad in the glasses who spoke, Justine not knowing which were which.

"That's OK guys, I think I understand. God, you both look like brothers."

They finally smiled.

"I am Noah," It was the red rimmed glasses version speaking, "and this is Shayne." Shane nodded in recognition of his name as Justine smiled at him.

"Do you want to come inside for tea then?"

"Hey, Jacob told us about your tea. We are cool with that." He glanced at Shayne, who nodded.

"Right, it's done then." Justine strode inside with both in tow, then ushered them to her seats in her breakfast room while she rounded the kitchen bench to prepare the tea.

She glanced at them sitting around the breakfast table. They were looking back her and she noticed something for the first time in their expressions. Fear perhaps. She was please she had chosen to have a cup of tea. "Is gumboot tea Ok, guys"

"Sure is, Mrs. T," in unison.

Justine was glad at that. A pot of tea always relaxes people. Sharing a pot brings people together.

Tea prepared she lay down the pot, cups small jug of milk and dish of sugar. She completed the table by unloading the remains of a packet of chocolate biscuits on a plate. She then paused.

"So, lads, what did you want to discuss?"

It was Shayne this time, straight to the point. "Why are you doing this Mrs. T, why are you fucking the guys?"

While making tea Justine had thought of the possibility of getting this question. She decided that her answer had to be confident, rational and honest as she could be. "Joshua made it obvious that you had a collective problem. I took an action; I realize it was unconventional to help Joshua in this way and he wanted the same for the others."

"Normal people don't use sex that way."

"I am not a normal person."

Both the lad's jaws dropped unable to reply.

"This was a personal decision between Joshua and me. I am not coercing any of you. I have the promise of your discretion. I believe that all of you are, yourselves by the standards of today, in a peculiar situation that does not prepare you well for Uni. This is what Joshua expressed to me."

"But you are married?"

"That is a personal situation for me which I am not willing to discuss except to say I am currently in a situation where I do not see the marriage continuing."

Shayne was still taking the lead in what appeared to an interrogation." Jacob told us you were once a lesbian. Aren't you afraid of being a sinner? That you will not receive salvation from Jesus Christ and be condemned to hell?"

"Absolutely not. I sense people who carry these beliefs are already in hell. They carry their hell around them all their lives and infect others as well as their children with their own private hell!"

Justine spoke this forcefully. Both Lads looked stunned as they soaked the statement in.

"Time for tea, I think." Justine finally uttered. "Who needs milk...sugar?"

They pick up their cups and Justine nudges the plate of Chocolate biscuits toward them. "Is the tea strong enough. There is a jug there with hot water if you wish it weaker." Both lads nodded and shook their heads in a chaotic affirmative that tea was OK.

Justine addressed their concerns. "You guys are sounding pretty extreme in these statements. I thought New Zealand Baptists were pretty liberal. How is the local church organized? Why are they so strict on this stuff? If you'll pardon the expression, your Pastor sounds like a prick."

"It's not just the Pastor it's the whole eldership. I think we are stricter than the others, I don't think it is fair." Noah replied.

"Oh, who are the elders?"

"Shayne's, Dad; Ben's Dad; Jacob's Mum."

"What about Joshua?"

"Hadn't he told you? His Mum died a couple of months ago. The pastor told the whole congregation she died because she was a sinner. His Dad is a real mess and doesn't talk to Joshua."

"What did she die of?"

"Breast Cancer."

"How does that make you a sinner?"

"We don't know. Some of them convinced her not to have treatment."

Justine dropped her head, whispering, "Oh shit." The whole heavy weight of the responsibility she had taken on suddenly had become clear to her. After a little contemplation she decided on a path.

"You purposely mentioned about my having been a lesbian. I am happy to talk about that if you wish under the understanding that the conversation is for us only. It will be a very private conversation and you are not to go blabbing it around."

Both reddened and look at one another.

Justine broke the silence by asking a leading question. "Is there anything you would like to ask me about being a lesbian. I know it's different for guys, but my experience was not necessarily so different."

Shayne was obviously nervous, but he did take up the challenge, stuttering," H-How did you know you were a lesbian in the first place and wh-why did you change?"

"Well, I will tell you about me first. I don't usually like talking about myself a lot but there are many paths for coming out and it has a lot to do with your background. " This was an accurate statement about herself. She was usually more of a listener. This episode with the lads had made her more forthcoming. In a way it was probably her trying to create a cloak of justification over this outrageous situation she had got into.

"I come from a wealthy background that goes right back to the original pastoralists in this district at the beginning of settlement. I am not so wealthy now but, in my background, there are farmers, lawyers and doctors. My grandfather flew spitfires in the second world war from Malta and the middle east, so I suppose we are respectable old money. My parents, despite being old money were really quite liberal.

We are Anglicans although I only usually enter churches for births, deaths and marriages. I have been known to turn up at Christmas and Easter. By the way I thought New Zealand Baptists were more like Anglican's, but your particular church sounds like some reactionary American Southern Baptist."

Shayne replied to that, "It's the eldership. Its largely led by Bens Dad. It's the Eldership who got the Pastor in. He was the one that introduced the purity pledge. The thing about gays has been going on since I remember. People have actually moved into the district to attend this church. It has a stink reputation that attracts nutters."

"Ok some parishes are a bit like that. High Anglicans can be very conservative and of course the Catholics have their minority sects Did you know the local Anglican pastor is gay?"

"Hey, no we didn't."

Back to me. I used to have a very close childhood friend named Annie. Her parents were the opposite of mine, and both her mother and father were quite abusive toward her. A couple of times my parents got involved when she turned up at our place with bruises. She used to stay with me a lot. I think she was afraid to go home."

Justine took a moment to replenish their tea.

When we got into our teens, we used to talk about boys a lot because it was the done thing. As Annie used to sleep over, we started practicing kissing before going to bed. Of course, this escalated. I think my parents knew what was going on but tolerated it. Annie's parents did not have a clue. It got to a point that the boys we went out with were not so exciting, but she and I were really into one another. At high school we did not get much flack as Annie was pretty sporty and I was a swat and we were both pretty popular with the other girls so if anyone thought of putting us down, did so at their peril.

There came a time when I came out to my parents. Which was sweet. It was like, 'What you two gay? We always knew that. Anything else happen today?'"

It was different for Annie. She thought her mother would understand. It took a lot of courage and she finally told her. Her mother beat her. When her dad got home, he told her to leave home. She spent the last year at high school living at our place. She basically dropped out.

She decided for us that she was going to have a baby. I was going to support the family with some high paying job. That was the dream. So, when I started at Uni we moved into an apartment together. She went out and somehow got inseminated. She didn't consult me. I do not know to this day who the father might be.

For a while, things were cool. I learnt to love that baby. It could have been mine. Annie started to become possessive about it and things turned sour. I got to a point where I couldn't do anything right by her account and she started to gaslight me. She was saying I wasn't gay enough or I was trying to take her daughter away from her. She would say there was something wrong with me. I was a mental case or something. I could ignore her and just hang out at Uni but that made her worse.

The sex with her had always been amazing but she started to get rough, pulling my hair and slapping me. She got a strap-on and she was so rough I had to get stitches to my anus. One day she actually attacked me and scratched me quite badly. At this time, I had started work and they noticed it. We almost had the police around. I actually did become a mental case, really; I believe I was traumatized by the experience. My work suffered and I felt trapped. I actually contemplated suicide.

I used to confide in a colleague at work. He and I started with coffee but moved on to lunches. Finally, one day Annie and I had a row and I stormed out and I ended up spending the night at Mikes. I realized then that I was actually romantically in love with Mike. I had never been that way with Annie. With her there was attachment and commitment on my part right up until it was intolerable.

There was sexual attraction with Annie. I literately had to learn to have sex with Mike. In that period, I was totally confused. You hear all this talk about genders. What gender is there that romantically likes guys but is sexually is attracted to women. I decided I was a Homosexual Heteroromantic, but Mike could not get his head around that and it eventually led to our breakup. He was quite a jealous guy. He honestly worked on it, but he couldn't handle the idea that he was in competition with both other men and women. He suffered anxiety over it. I was devastated because I was head over heels in love. I believe he was too, but it became intolerable for him.