All Comments on 'The Engagement Pt. 01'

Sadly, I agree with Justplainjeff. I stopped reading at "I ain't no ho." Sorry.

Well, ummm, Jeffy? I'll try to write sump'n mo' in line wid' yo' tastes, OK?

I knew dis girl one time. An' she had met dis dude. An' she ain't liked him very good. He was gittin' on she LAST nerve. But den she got in trouble. An' he come along an' hep'd her outta de trouble. An' den she liked him better. So she kissed him on de nuts. An' dey lived happily ever after.

Jeff, I know I left out the thousands of unnecessary commas that you are enamored of, but that's essentially all the stories you've ever written. Because that's the flow of every romance novel ever written.

Jeff said: "my wife and I are going on 51 years!"

When was the, last time, you had sex, Jeff? When was the last time your WIFE had sex?

Hmm...while this may explain Cynthia, if the point was to show why she's a b***h, it succeeded brilliantly. Does it help the reader understand the character better? On a scale of 1-10, I would say a 4. If we as readers are to rate this on the basis of "can a female have as much sex as a male and enjoy it," I would say that's a 10; if we were to say by reading this story "can a female be as manipulative as a man (agenda or not)," I would rate the same. Does this character's story elicit sympathy or compassion? I would have to rate that as a 1.

I would argue this installment is meant to paint Cynthia with the worst brush possible. What is the only seemingly redeeming quality by what her character admits? She's upfront about what she wants/how she's going to scratch her itch. She parallels Chad in that she drives a rattrap around to misdirect, but has an Audi stashed; however, Chad is far more sympathetic and likeable up to the point I've read in that series. I assert that if she were truly "up front," she wouldn't have misdirected Kevon for a year before showing him the truth of her living status. As a counterpoint, she could have seemed more sympathetic if she had detailed her struggles more about having to deal with her PGAD, how many times it frustrated her (rather than only leaving it at "it was hard to focus") and to greater degrees. Perhaps she could have dropped some breadcrumbs here and there to Kevon, hinting at her real living situation, but was simply distrustful because she had tried first with another guy and he REALLY let her down/treated her poorly (but not like a total s**t): that would generate some sympathy and it would blunt this direct "I'm gonna do it and that's-just how-it-is approach." Certainly possessing no recriminations about her being a "slumlord" demolishes any standing she might have, and believe it or not, there would be some guys that would find being "led" to believe something totally different on any one thing would be a total deal-breaker for the lie it is.

This says nothing of if she were really a virgin, how could she have instantly mounted "Detroit" without tearing or without some pain? Then to effectively humiliate him and he's done nothing to earn it? She's not any kind of female I would ever want ANY attention from, and makes me question why Kevon would not factor in her real story--despite how insatiable she is.