The Evolution of Jennifer

"It is, I'm sorry you had a hard time finding it, tho."

"Well over all it was easier than finding you. Honestly I wasn't sure your parents would tell you I called."

"She just told me yesterday. I'm sorry for that, too."

"Stop apologizing. I found you and now here we are! I couldn't be happier!"

Jennifer wished she felt the same, but being honest she was ashamed, ashamed that it took so long, ashamed she never tried reaching out, that she let it happen to begin with, and her current circumstances; and she let most of this out in a sudden torrent of overwhelming emotion.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay honey. We have all night to talk and say all these things. Let me get my bag, well one of 'em anyway, and as pretty as it is out here, it's buggy. Let's go in okay? Then you can relax and we'll talk."

"Yeah, sorry. It's so good to see you and I'm so glad you're here. I have a dinner inside if you're hungry? It's not much really."

"Oh my god I'm starving! Let's eat."

They went in and Jennifer sat Lisa at the table and dished out dinner and poured each of them a glass of wine Lisa brought with her. They talked of little things for a bit, and eventually got to Lisa's marriage.

"Well now that you bring it up, it's a good time to bring up us going to Vegas tomorrow."

"I- I- I can't Lisa. I can't afford that. I only have... I can't afford it, and I won't have you paying for me."

Lisa noticed the shame and embarrassment this was causing and knew it wasn't going to get better, but one way or another she was determined to get Jennifer to go with her.

"Well, first things first. My marriage. He who shall not be named, ha! had a great deal of money. I mean a lot. But since he decided to fuck the neighbor and her 19 year old daughter, most of that money is now mine. Along with the town house in San Fran and the lake house in Tahoe. So it's my money to do with what I want. And I want to pay for my oldest friend who I almost lost, to go to Vegas with me, to see our other oldest friend, who is flying in tomorrow."

"But--"

"Ah. No arguments. The suites' been booked for six months, it's already done. You're going, that's it. Tracy is dying to see you. Although you will have to talk to her about.. everything."

"I'm not sure I should."

"Tell me why. Tell me everything."

And she did; once she started she couldn't stop the flood of emotions and thoughts that came pouring out of her. A decade's worth of pent up hurt and frustration, guilt and shame, and tears escaped from deep within, finally let out into the open, set free in the ether, too late now to keep within the shadows of her mind, inescapable truths now had to be acknowledged.

"Jenny, look at me. It's okay, really. I'm not going to lie to you, though. When this thing with John started and you pulled away without a word, I was angry and hurt. Mostly angry, then mostly hurt. But over the years I've thought about this, and you, a lot; so has Tracy, but she did help me thru it and to maybe understand a little. Not that she's not still angry and hurt, she is, but Life has a way of helping us understand things, if we're willing to listen. Personally, I think the universe whispered in your ear, and that's why you called me back, that's what I believe."

Jennifer knew exactly what she was saying. She had felt something stirring, or pulling her, trying to maybe tell her something. The whole thing was, and is, undefined, but Jennifer knew what Lisa was saying, and for this moment, in a dark summer night, she felt some level of peace, and a few steps closer to whatever was inside her, trying to be defined.

"I do kinda feel like this was supposed to happen, I mean seeing you again... I can't explain it, but it's important, I know it is. But it's like in the beginning with him, it's not like I felt guilty about anything I had done, and he didn't try to make me feel guilty, at least not obviously guilty.. I don't know."

"Jenny honey, I think you're almost there actually. Keep trying to talk it out. You're okay, really. You're not 'wrong', just keep trying."

Lisa took her hand in her lap and held it tight, the first human, loving touch in a very long time.

"I never felt guilty about it, ever. I still don't. Maybe I thought I should have. Maybe he thought I should, but he never said it, not really anyway. He's not cruel, or mean, don't think that about him, he isn't. But, I just don't know."

"I never said he was cruel. It isn't cruel not to know someone, it isn't cruel not to understand someone. Although I think it's very cruel to marry someone you don't love or understand, or don't even want to understand. That's cruel. And what you don't understand or know right now? You will soon, because you want to. I can see it in your eyes. You'll get there, you will."

"Then we're both guilty in that, and cruel, and Lisa I'm so sorry for everything. For not talking, not staying in touch, not being there when you needed, for you and Tracy. I've missed you two so much."

"Oh Jenny, we have forgiven you. We've talked about it so much over the years. We love you Jen, always have, always will. And we're together now, or will be tomorrow. Speaking of which. Now tell me, other than the money do you want to go to Vegas with me for the weekend and see Tracy, just the three of us?"

"If I could afford it, or thought that I wouldn't bring the two of you down, I would. But I can't take your money, I just can't."

"Well it's settled then. You're going. It's my money to spend as I want, on who I want, when I want, where I want. And I need you in Vegas and so does Tracy. This will be your only chance to see her. She and Travis live in Seattle, and he's having a guys weekend with their boys and another family they know. So that's it. You're going. No more arguments."

"They're still together? How are they?"

"Great actually. He's a great guy and a great dad. She was the smart one of the three of us. And their boys are adorable little monsters, haha! She's gonna be so happy you're coming. If I had a signal out here in Timbuktu, I'd text her right now."

After that the conversation grew lighter, mostly. There was talk of Lisa's divorce and more of Tracy and her family, and some trips down memory lane from their college days, and other lighter things, and some more serious things as well, but mostly light, and they laughed as they polished off the bottle of wine, ending their evening back out on the porch under the stars.

"You must be exhausted. I have a room ready if you're tired."

"I am actually. And you haven't shown me your house at all."

"Haha, well you'll see it now. It isn't much really. There's only one full bath upstairs with the bedrooms. It's right here."

"Perfect! I'll just shower in the morning before we leave, but it'll be nice to get this makeup off finally."

"I'll leave you to it. If you need anything my room is right here."

Jennifer closed the bathroom door and went to her own room, undressed and threw on her oversized shirt she always slept in and sat on the edge of her bed, thinking of the day, absorbing all that happened; more than anything else that has happened to her in the last decade, she thought. It was a struggle not to get overwhelmed with it all, and it seemed tomorrow was going to be even more eventful, Vegas and Tracy, and after that? Who knows?

Jennifer cracked the window a little to get the cooler night breeze, and went to lay down, lifting the cover sheet ready to crawl under when she heard her door push all the way open and light steps behind her.

"Everything okay with your room? I know it's not much and the bed isn't probably as comfortable as your used to-"

"Everything's fine, really. And you don't need to apologize for anything to me anymore, you've done enough of that. I'm sleeping with you tonight, like we used to do, remember? And I don't mean sex, but Jenny I think you just need... I don't know, companionship? Some love for sure, so yes, I'm sleeping with you."

Lisa was wearing a shear nightie, Jennifer couldn't tell what color, it was too dark to tell, but she could see Lisa's form, still gorgeous, still firm breasts and her long blonde hair was down and she sat on the side of the bed and slid in, propped a pillow to her back and relaxed.

"Come on. Just like we used to. Put your head on my shoulder and relax, okay? It'll be nice, right?"

"You don't have to do this for me, you gotta still be a little mad at me, right? I would be."

In the dark Lisa probably couldn't see that she was almost going to cry again, but perhaps heard it in her voice. Jennifer wanted this more than anything, to cuddle up with someone again, it almost seemed too good to be true.

"Jen hon, maybe I need this from you, too. Maybe I needed to see you as much as you needed to see me. Maybe we both need each other. Yes, I'm trying to comfort you, but remember that when we comfort someone, we get comfort too. You're not the only one who's vulnerable right? So if you want to, cuddle up with me."

Jennifer slid over without saying anything more and curled in her arm, resting her head just inside Lisa's shoulder, pulling the sheet over both of them and rested her hand on her stomach just below her breasts, while Lisa put her arm around her and pulled her close and played with her hair. Now she did let go of silent tears feeling for the first time in forever the warmth of another body, soft skin, and arms that pulled her close, wanting her closer. This never happened with John; actually this never happened with anyone, not since her last real boyfriend her sophomore year of college. Everything else, except Lisa, was just sex, not that that was bad, I mean it's what she had wanted, and she loved it, but now she remembered those nights when her and Lisa would do this, and just (almost) hold each other and sleep all night.

Jennifer woke up suddenly in the pitch black of night, a little confused as most people are when they wake up from a dead sleep suddenly. Lisa had turned in the night slightly, facing her more, one arm under Jennifer and the other on her hip just under Jennifer's long tee shirt, her hand resting on her bare skin. Sometime in the night, unknowingly, Jennifer had slipped her hand under Lisa's nightie, her hand on her waist. Lisa's skin was soft and warm and her breathing gentle and rhythmic.

As she lay there watching Lisa softly breathe, she felt her fingers move on her hips, gliding back and forth, then Lisa's fingers move down her leg and back up again. Without looking up Jennifer softly kissed her chest and felt her stroke her hair and turned herself more towards Jennifer; it was all the encouragement she needed, and began kissing Lisa's chest more. Lisa's hand responded, running well up under Jennifer's tee, to her waist, back down around to her ass, pulling her closer, Jennifer now kissing her chest and neck, Lisa tilting her head back, one hand on Jennifer's butt, the other pulling her face closer to her body.

Jennifer let herself get lost in the moment, giving way to abandonment, and rolled Lisa on her back and put herself between her legs, kissing her chest and lightly biting her nipples thru her nightie. Lisa ran her hands down Jennifer's back and pulled her shirt up up her body, raising her arms and slipping it off her body, Jennifer pushed her nightie up and continued to kiss and feel her way down Lisa's body.

A flood of memories hit Jennifer, all the times they had done this in college, including that first awkward night drunk after a party, going back to their shared dorm just the two of them. It wasn't that they were bi really, actually they never defined it, and it was just something that happened occasionally, and they enjoyed each other; the company and the sex, and how it bonded them closer together. There never was a jealousy involved if one of them was with a guy, but as far as Jennifer knew neither one of them had ever been with another woman, which is perhaps why they were closer to each other than with Tracy.

These thoughts went thru her mind as her hands traced up Lisa's body, her legs to her waist to her stomach pushing up the sheer nightie as the rest of her slid down between Lisa's open legs. She felt her heat, smelled her scent, felt her smooth soft skin. Jennifer breathed deep intoxicating herself, and realized that even tho it has been over ten years, she wasn't nervous, but impatient with anticipation. Lisa ran her hands thru her hair, opened her legs wider, bent to either side, and lifted her hips to meet Jennifer's mouth, parted lips, and moist tongue. A soft gentle lick on her wet lips brought a gasp and a moan, a quiet want.

"Yessss.... oh Jenny, yes..."

Jennifer slipped her tongue inside Lisa, and became more eager, relishing the moment, Lisa's want and desire, Lisa's need, and her own. She kicked the sheet covering them off the bed, and glancing up saw Lisa watching her, looking down at her as she worked her tongue more. Slipping in and out, long licks up her lips, taking her juices, swallowing, flicking over her clit, her hands under Lisa's thighs, wrapping around her legs, feeling and touching her as much as she could with Lisa pushing her hips up into her, fingers and hands in her hair, tangling and massaging as Jennifer hungrily ate her out.

"Jen Jen, Jenny! Yes Jenny oh my god, I've wanted this so much, I've missed this, missed you, please, oh god Jenny..."

Jennifer missed it as well, and let her know by her eagerness, unwillingness to stop, pushing her tongue inside her as deep as she could, curling inside, pressing against her walls, lifting Lisa and pressing her into her face as she opened her mouth and breathed her in and swallowed all she could, stopping only to breathe and even then rubbing her face against her, smearing Lisa's wetness all over herself before pushing her tongue back inside her.

Jennifer felt Lisa's body tighten and jerk, her hips thrusting up. She could taste that sweetness just as Lisa let go of a squeal she knew she was trying to hold back; her hands held tight to Jennifer, not that she had to, Jennifer wasn't going to move no matter what. Over ten years of not tasting cum except her own, ten years of not experiencing making someone lose control (John was always in control, his ejaculations were brief, then done, enjoyment being shameful), ten years of not being wanted or hungered for, of not being able to enjoy and relish another's orgasm and cum. No, Jennifer wasn't moving. She would stay between Lisa's spread thighs for as long as she allowed her to, licking and sucking up her juices, tasting and swallowing, feeling it glisten on her face, making her sticky and driving her own self crazy with desire and want.

"J-J-Jenny... please oh god please... haven't cum so hard... Jenny... oh god Jenny..."

She relented, but wasn't done yet. Climbing up Lisa's body, touching, caressing, kissing and licking, she stayed on top and kissed her hard now sliding fingers inside and feeling Lisa tighten her legs around her as she stroked her fingers in and out, slow, fast, slow, until Lisa orgasmed again, moaning into Jennifer's mouth, holding her face to her own as Jennifer's fingers worked her inside.

"Jenny, I want you, too. Like this, like we did before, let me have you like you had me."

Lisa slipped her fingers down and inside Jennifer while she was still on top and watched her face as Jennifer rode her fingers, pushing her hips down as Lisa pushed her fingers up. This was always one of Lisa's favorite things, watching Jennifer ride; her facial expressions, her movement; so graceful and fluid, the curves of her body, her heaving chest, the way her hair fell behind her. Everything about it turned her on.

After watching Jennifer ride her fingers for minutes, she couldn't take it and rolled Jennifer onto her back, fingers still inside her, kissed her open mouth, then her nipples, and slid down her body, tasting her for the first time in over a decade. It was only moments before Jennifer let out a yell and orgasmed hard all over Lisa's tongue. She had barely gotten her tongue inside, and never even touched her clit, it had been so long since she had had any real pleasure, and her body reacted beyond her control.

"Oh my Jenny, that was fast. Hope that you aren't done yet like my ex would have been."

"More, fuck Lisa, more, don't stop, any of it, more, please god more."

"I'm not done honey, don't worry. It's as good as I remembered, maybe better."

Jennifer was in bliss having waited so long to be with someone who really wanted her this way again, and even tho she had just orgasmed, she felt another building up quickly as Lisa's tongue worked inside her and her hands were all over her hips and thighs and grabbing her from beneath, letting her hunger and eagerness show.

"Hmmm cum for me again Jenny, let it go, I know you want to-"

"Lisa Lisa oh my god, yes, please please yes, I'm cumming cuu--- AAAAAHHH!"

Jennifer felt herself explode and waves of pleasure washed over and thru her again and again.

Lisa stayed between Jennifer's legs and lay her head on her stomach, Jennifer playing with her hair as they both came down from their high, Lisa's fingers playing lightly on Jennifer's skin.

"Has it really been that long for you Jenny?"

"It has. He never actually gave me an orgasm, never tried."

"Poor thing."

"How long for you? I mean for like what we just did."

"Well there's been guys since my divorce, so pretty regularly haha, believe me. Is that what you mean?"

"I mean like you and me... has there been another ummm-"

"Oh hahaha! Not used to you being so shy about saying anything! No, you're actually the only woman I've ever been with. Not sure why but it only feels right with you, otherwise I'm just not interested. Why?"

"Just curious, I don't know."

"You were going to be jealous! Hahaha! Love it! How about you?"

"No. I think it's obvious right? And I feel the same actually. I don't know, it's just a connection with you, a closeness I guess."

"We trust each other, that's all. And I hope I'm not upsetting you but it's like I love this about us, always have, but I still want a man."

"I know. Me too. You didn't upset me. Actually I think I needed this."

"You did and so did I. Maybe we can get you laid by a guy in Vegas, ha! A good dicking! You've had me now we'll get you a guy!"

"I'm married Lisa. I don't think it would be right."

Lisa considered for a moment about bringing up the fact that they just had sex, and infidelity is infidelity, no matter who it's with, but she didn't, knowing the fragile state of mind and how emotional Jennifer was, she decided to let it go and let her think of this however she would.

"It didn't matter to my ex, but yeah I understand. What are your plans Jenny?"

"I don't really know."

And she didn't really, at least consciously, but Jennifer did have a feeling that the answer was there waiting for her to embrace it, if she only would.

"It's really late, and we're both tired, we should sleep it's a long drive tomorrow. And Jen? You'll know what to do when the time comes."

The two friends curled and cuddled up and let sleep finally overtake them until late in the morning when the sun filtering thru the blinds cut across Jennifer's eyes and woke her up. Getting up and gathering her clothes she quietly closed the door to let Lisa sleep and went to the bathroom to get dressed, slipped down stairs and heated her pans up to make breakfast. As she waited for the coffee to finish brewing Jennifer realized she felt better than she had in years; loose and relaxed and comfortable, and her mood was brighter and more optimistic looking towards the day ahead. Instead of going thru the day waiting for it to be over, she found herself wondering what the day would hold and that was new.

She washed the dishes from the night before and tidied up the house making a list in her head of what she would need to do once Lisa woke up. After these chores were done and Lisa still wasn't up she took her coffee out to the porch and sat looking about at the open spaces around her when the question popped in her head out of no where. Would she see this again? Would she sit on this porch on a quiet morning and hear the birds and look out at an endless horizon? She didn't want to answer and shut the question out, simply enjoying the moment of calm and peace.