The Evolution of Jennifer

"Jenny? Hon? Hello?"

"Out here Lisa. There's coffee in the kitchen."

Lisa came out in a tee and nothing else, sat in a chair with a cup of coffee and looked about.

"Peaceful. Reminds me of my place in Tahoe. You would love it there. You should come out and visit."

"I would love that. I do like the quiet here, and you make it sound so appealing."

"It's my favorite place, but we should get ready we have a long drive ahead of us and you still have to pack."

"Yeah, I was going to make breakfast. Are you hungry? the pans have probably been ready for a while now."

"Starving! What are we making?"

"Oh it's basic really, bacon and eggs and toast. Is that ok?"

"Perfect."

Jennifer made them breakfast while Lisa struggled to get the maps up on her phone without a signal and attempted to text Tracy. They ate and talked about Vegas and Lisa filled her in on Tracy and her family and all the things Jennifer missed after the wedding.

After they ate Lisa got in the shower while Jennifer cleaned up the kitchen and the house and changed the sheets and made the bed. As she began to get her clothes ready she looked at the open suitcase on the chair in the corner, eyeing it and thinking, or rather suppressing the thought of what it meant to begin packing it, and instead folded her clothes on the bed rather than packing them.

"Bathrooms all yours hon. Hope I didn't use all the hot water.... you ok?"

Lisa saw her sitting on the bed staring at her clothes, and saw the empty suitcase.

"Yeah, just trying to decide what to wear I guess."

Of course she knew it was more than that, she wasn't dumb, and had been there herself; she knew what Jennifer was feeling, and specifically not thinking about.

"Well we'll be on the road all day so don't over think it. Just grab something comfy. I'm going in a sports bra and tank, and yoga pants, so yeah, comfy, ok? Just grab a tee and shorts or something. I'll finish for you while you're in the shower. It'll be easier that way okay?"

Lisa was looking her in the eyes, trying to let her know that she knew and understood, Jennifer got it, and not saying anything went to take a shower and for longer than she knew she just let the hot water run over her and breathed deep trying to calm her feelings and emotions.

Lisa had brought clothes in for her while she showered and she put on what was set out for her and went back to the room where Lisa was still going thru her drawers and closet.

"Do you have like a party dress or anything?... oh my god! No way! Really!? You still have this! Does it fit!!"

She had found, in very back of her closet the black little dress from that night so very long ago.

"Yeah. The only thing I kept from those days. I doubt it fits anymore."

"Oh please! A bit out of style maybe, but I bet it still fits. Try it!"

"We're really late aren't we?"

"Pthhh. I gotta know if it fits. Try it."

Jennifer stripped down and slipped the dress on, and it did fit, just like Lisa said it would.

"Hot as ever! You were so sexy that night, and look at you now! It still hugs all the right places! Gorgeous!"

Jennifer was slightly embarrassed and blushed and was fidgety, grabbing and releasing the hem, smoothing it out over her thighs.

"You said it was out of style, I should just leave it here..."

"Well maybe. We'll stop on the way and get you something with a more modern style."

"It'll be too much-"

"I already told you. I have more money than I know what to do with. I can buy my oldest friend a dress. But we should get moving for real, it is late."

They finished packing for Jennifer and loaded everything up and were ready to go. Jennifer took one quick look around trying not to get sentimental or emotional and jumped in the passenger side and off they went, on their way to Vegas, and Tracy.

Vegas

It was a long drive thru open country and desert, two lane roads and by roadside gas stations and one street towns until they got on the highway. Lisa caught Jennifer up on so many things, mostly about Tracy and her family. Jennifer had to ask questions about Lisa and her divorce, but was careful not to dig too deep as she seemed reluctant to reveal much of the emotional side of it. However, she was plenty willing to dish on all the men she's been with and dated since.

"You think you'll ever get married again?"

"Haha, I don't know really. I mean I'm open to a serious relationship, something steady and committed, but I don't know about being married again. Of course it's also nice being single and getting whatever dick I want, so there's that, hahahaha!"

"Not to change the subject, but (she wanted to change the subject before questions about her marriage came up, she simply didn't have answers), what is the plan in Vegas?"

"Well we have the suite booked for three days, and we have tickets for some shows, we want to do at least one super fancy over priced dinner, and some cheap gambling, nothing crazy, and some sight seeing, and of course celebrate the three of us back together, hopefully not for the last time."

Jennifer knew that last comment was for her and saw the side eye Lisa threw her way, and she felt it, she also couldn't blame her for it, after all Jennifer had made her choices and she knew it.

"So you asked a lot of questions about my divorce, what about you? It's obvious you're not happy, and don't think I didn't notice that suitcase out when I got there, already out and opened."

"I... I... I don't know Lisa. I'm not happy, never really was, but it's hard to leave. He's not like a bad guy really, it's just... I don't know."

"So he's been good to you in other ways? Why didn't you go with him on his missionary work?"

"Missionary work isn't for women, he says. He's never asked me to go with him. And thinking about it, we're pretty much on the same page, more indifferent than bad or good to each other, and I'm not sure when or how that happened even."

"So there was a time when it was good? When he did want you and you wanted him?"

"Ummm, you're asking hard questions. I think I wanted him? No I did. I remember the first time I was turned off tho. I tried giving him head and he said absolutely not, sodomy is a huge sin, and he wasn't impressed, neither was I. I remember him being eager our wedding night, but it was short, and when he was done, that was it. I thought it would get better eventually but it didn't."

Lisa didn't want to push or sound judgy, so she squeezed Jennifer's hand and let it drop, as did Jennifer, and they rode in silence for a bit until they saw an exit sign for food and shopping, and decided to stop for a bit.

They stopped at a local mall but Lisa didn't think any of the dresses there worked for Jennifer so they just ate and used the bathroom, walked around a bit to stretch their legs and got back in the car, gassed up, and got back on the road again. Lost in thought Jennifer spoke up without Lisa having to ask anything.

"I think John thought he could 'redeem' me, and I thought maybe I could get him to loosen up a bit. Like we could change each other, but I've never been religious and he's never been anything but, and I don't know, maybe we just both realized you can't change anybody, and we both just gave up."

Lisa, as before, didn't say anything; having gone thru a divorce she understood what Jennifer was going thru and saying, and simply took her hand held it as Jennifer looked out the window as the scenery rolled by.

As the hours went by and the sun was the better part towards the horizon Lisa called Tracy.

"Hey! We're almost there. Another hour or so. How was the flight?"

"An hour yet? You're late. The flight was good, I'm in the suite waiting for you guys. Is she with you? I haven't heard from you."

"Yes! Jenny's right here! Yeah sorry we got a late start today. Hey we need to get her a dress, do you want to go with us, or should we stop on our way?"

"Jenny! Hey! Oh my god I can't believe you're coming! Can't wait to see you again. I'm so excited!"

"Tracy I know, me too! I'm so sorry it's been so long-"

"Nonsense! We'll talk when you get here. In the meantime, yes I want to go with you! I could use something new myself! Ahhh can't wait! Drive faster!"

"Hahaha, we'll be there soon! Love ya!"

"She sounds like she's doing really well."

"She is. She got really excited after we planned this and I told her I found your parents, she was so happy at the idea of seeing you again."

"It almost makes me feel worse in a way."

"Well don't. People love you Jenny, and things happen. Not that she doesn't deserve an apology or an explanation, but really it's going to be fine. Let's try to have fun tho, okay?"

The conversation turned more casual, more about the weekend plans, and as fun as it all sounded, Jennifer was getting more and more nervous, and excited. Finally they could see the lights from a distance which made everything more real; her leaving without at least emailing the ministry and contact where John was, and just what that, and the decision to go itself, meant for her and her life. There were still facts and truths she wasn't willing to admit or face quite yet.

The closer they got the more the traffic picked up, the more glaring the lights became, and the more fidgety she became. She didn't know if she was more nervous because of what she had done, or facing Tracy and having to relive all the things she spent the last 24 hours talking about and explaining to Lisa. Both were worrisome to her. Lost in these thoughts she barely noticed that Lisa was navigating the downtown streets of Vegas, getting closer to the hotel, getting closer to what Jennifer could only describe as a new reality.

"Here we are! Now where's the drive to the valet parking... ah here we go!"

Lisa drove up and pulled her vehicle over in front of the hotel, pushed a call button and a phone rang. I know, weird right? But remember Jennifer didn't have internet, let alone a cell, or a vehicle that had bluetooth, try not to judge, at least for this.

"Tracy! We're here. Just pulled up to the valet... Yup, they're getting the luggage (she was on her phone now). Are you coming down or? Wait, nevermind, we'll just come up. On our way."

"This place is huge.. and it's so loud here-"

"Hahaha, you'll be surprised how fast you get used to it... take the bags to room *****, that's where we're staying. Anyway, we're at the top, a big suite. Tracy's waiting! Ahhh can't believe we're all together again! I could cry I'm so happy!"

"Me too."

And she was happy, and for the first time Jennifer realized she definitely wanted to be here, the three of them together again for a whole weekend, and her nervousness turned purely into excitement. Lisa slipped her arm thru hers as they walked thru the lobby to the elevators and rode to the top floor, knocked on a door, and there was Tracy, waiting with open arms.

There were hugs, laughing, shrieks of joy, exclamations of love, more hugs, and crying before everyone settled down enough to actually talk coherently.

"Oh my god Jenny! Still the same. I really can't believe you're here. We've missed you so much-"

"You haven't either. You're still gorgeous. Travis is still the luckiest guy alive."

"Well yeah, he is, but two kids, so not quite the same, but thank you!"

Jennifer didn't actually think she changed that much; her hair was short now, just at the shoulders, and a little darker, but her eyes still sparkled bright blue and her smile was as beautiful as it ever was and her laugh loud and pure as ever and she was happy to hear it again and didn't realize until now just how much she missed it.

"Oh my god I'm starving. Did you order room service yet?"

"Nooo how would I know what you want?"

"Ugh, some friend. We only drove like the whole country to see you... think you know someone."

"Oh ok says the pickiest eater I know. Worse than my boys."

"Hahaha! True. Well, kinda. Not so much picky as I never know what I want."

"Unless it's a man."

"Also true, hahaha! But those are temporary and replaceable. Food isn't! I could eat a cow. Jenny honey how about some burgers, something simple?"

"Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

The jokes made her laugh, but also sad. She wasn't in on the inside personal jokes, and although they didn't mean it she felt a little left out, and realized how outside she really was after all these years and wondered how long, if ever, it would take for her to catch back up again.

After ordering room service they decided the sleeping arrangements. There were two rooms; one with a california king that Tracy wanted because, as she said, it would be a luxury for her to sleep in a huge bed by herself for a change, and the second room had two doubles and that's the room Jennifer and Lisa would share, although Tracy did say if they wanted to switch it up over the next few days she'd be fine with it.

Lisa and Jennifer unpacked their things and got set up and by the time they were done the food arrived and they ate and talked about their separate travels, how the road trip went and Tracy's flight, and general chit chat.

"Well that burger was amazing, but I need a shower so I'm going to do that. You guys enjoy your time catching up." Giving both Tracy and Jennifer a knowing look before excusing herself.

"So Jen, want to go walk a little of the strip, get a feel for the city of lights?"

"Yeah sounds good. This is my first time here, it is a bit overwhelming but I'm excited to see it."

Dressed casually, off they went to wander the main strip, people watching and talking. Jennifer just wanted everything out of the way to clear the air between them and began just rambling about her life since meeting John, until it started making sense in her mind. I won't repeat what was said, you already heard most of this with Lisa. She got teary eyed and emotional, and they sat a while in front of a fountain while she poured it all out. Not that the conversation was all one sided, she also asked about Tracy and her family, especially the kids, she wanted to know everything, and Tracy obliged. For her part she wasn't too hard on Jennifer, as she and Lisa had talked about these things regarding Jennifer for years. If Tracy was hard on her for anything, it was about Lisa and her divorce.

"Look, I know you've been thru a lot, and are going thru a lot, but I also think it's only fair you know something. I'm not trying to be mean, but I think you need to know this. Lisa's divorce was really hard on her even if she doesn't act like it. She stayed with us for almost a year during that, and she talked about how much she missed you thru all of it, and wished you had been there. She really needed all her people thru that, and wanted you especially."

"We talked about that, and I am sorry, more than she could know. I know it isn't right and it isn't fair, but honestly I hoped and thought that I was the only unhappy one. I didn't imagine Lisa ever being unhappy. I'm glad you're happy tho. Wish I could have been there when you had the boys; I didn't just miss Lisa, I missed you too. I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything, but I cried myself to sleep over you guys more than you can know. I wish I could have been there for both of you. I just hope you can forgive me."

Tracy sat there looking at her and knew it was sincere, and after hearing everything about her marriage and the last ten years, she did believe Jennifer when she said she wished she could have been there, and decided that all things considered, kindness and compassion were best, that that's what Jennifer needed now.

"Well knowing your situation there isn't anything to forgive. You know Lisa said after talking to your parents that if she found you all she wanted was our friendship back, and I feel the same."

"Thank you Tracy, I don't know if I deserve all this, but I love you guys and missed you both so much."

After crying for a few and hugging, and a few concerned strangers asking if everything was okay, Tracy had one more thing to say.

"I hope someday soon I can introduce my boys to their long lost Aunt Jenny, that would be amazing, and Travis would love to see you again."

"That would be amazing! I would love to see your family. Lisa said Seattle right? I heard it's beautiful there."

"It is. Then come see us. We have room, you can stay with us. What are your plans anyway, moving forward?"

"I don't actually know."

"Are you going to try and work it out? Stay with him?"

"I- I- I don't know...."

"Well you don't have to make that decision now, it can wait. But Lisa's probably thinking we're partying without her and wondering where we're at. We should get back."

So back they went to find Lisa doing her nails and dressed to go. Jennifer took her turn in the shower and lingered a bit longer than needed under the hot water, letting it wash not only the day's grime but also what felt like.... she wasn't sure how to put it so let's say an old skin.

She dressed in the best she had which wasn't much and felt slightly out of place with where she was and how her friends were dressed, but so be it. They went down to the floor and played simple slots and laughed and just had fun. She was surprised when she won a few hundred on the third pull of the machine she was on and that helped her relax more and enjoy herself. Tracy and Lisa made a big deal of the whole thing and it was fun. After a few hours and a few drinks she was tired tho and decided to go back to the room by herself to sleep and let the two of them have their time together. She slipped out of her clothes and into bed, closed her eyes and that was all she could remember until the next morning.

She found Lisa in her own bed in the morning sleeping soundly. Jennifer never heard her come in to the room last night/ this morning and assumed Tracy was back as well. She got up, closed the door behind her gently, made some coffee and sat on a couch wrapped in a cozy robe and sipped her drink and let her mind go blank, waiting for the other two to get up.

It wasn't a long wait, as it was only a half hour before Tracy came out.

"Ahhh soooo nice having a big 'ol bed to yourself! No hubby, no kids, ha! I'm going to miss this in a few days... good morning! Did you sleep?"

"I--"

"Did she sleep!? Are you kidding? You didn't hear that racket last night? Jen hon I don't want to be mean but you snore like a lumberjack. Several actually."

"Sorry, haha. I was pretty tired tho."

"Well you slept and that's the important thing." Lisa sat next to her and put her head on her shoulder.

"So ladies? What's on the agenda this morning?"

"Food. I'm starving. I drank too much on an empty stomach. Then shopping. Jenny and I need new dresses remember? We're going to that show tonight and fancy dinner reservations. Ooo! We should get our hair done together! I know someone who owns a salon. Let me see if we can get in."

"Ugh. I drank too much to be this active so early. But fine we'll get ready while you make your call."

Tracy succeeded in getting them all appointments to get their hair done at the same time, and they dressed and got themselves ready for the day. They decided to mostly walk, hoping they wouldn't have to walk too far to find shops they wanted, besides there's always Uber, right? Three iced coffees and a stop at some slots because Jennifer wanted to see if she could get lucky again like last night, and to her surprise she did. Of course she knew the money she won wouldn't be enough to cover the costs of the day or to pay her own way, but she did want to contribute something, so she was happy with that and quit while ahead, besides time was pressing.

The first stop was a less expensive clothing store, not the kind where they would find the kind of dresses they were looking for, but Jennifer wanted a cute skirt and top and some decent shoes to go with, to at least feel like she belonged with Lisa and Tracy, not that they made her feel that way, but she did feel out of place with her wardrobe, and besides, shopping again with girl friends made her feel good as they were all laughing and having fun. Lisa and Tracy picking stuff out for her, Lisa suggesting a micro mini, but she said no; she wanted to feel attractive and sexy, but not ridiculous for her age, being early 30's.