All Comments on 'The Fallout'

more like The Wimpout

What a sanctimonious prick hound. Seriously, no wonder she cheated on him, he’s a piece of shit.

Thank you.

Did Bill leave after Tom left for uni, or after he left uni? It’s not clear.

Jane says, “... I have also gone through a divorce due to a cheating spouse. It took me two years before I could even talk to her again.” Is “her again” a typo or on purpose?

I would have liked at least a tiny follow up of what happened with Bill, and Evonne, after Bill left.

Reasonable mechanics. Reasonable dialogue. Interesting and rare subject within LW.

4-stars

A little more punishment for the wife was needed. Maybe, she remained paralyzed for life would be fair and watch her son & his father live well

You reeeellly rushed it. LOVE. slap hapy papy #9

Ending sucks. I like most of the story though. AAA+++

You are aclassic sample of PME....u just cant finish correctly...

Even though he was Tom’s biological father, he was still a convicted felon. That’s quite the suspension of disbelief.

The story was at least different, but the ending kind of blah. Why did he stay in the house after Evonne returned home? If he still hated her that much, it had to have a negative effect on his son.

Pathetic

A solid 4* story but I gave it 5* since it was the first I read after four stories with titles that had nothing to do with the story.

This title was perfect for this story.

why the RUSHED ending

Feels unfinished

Better than your previous….because you actually had an ending to it included an exchange between the cheater and the husband!

3+ ***

This story left me wondering if Bill ever "worked" on John`s car.

Thankfully he stuck to his guns with his ex. No RAAC! S I hope Bill can find a better woman out there otherwise the ex wins. I hope she will be alone. I was hoping Tom would tell him that the bastard wasn’t a good dad and really only wanted the mom around.

Why was John, a real man making real money, satisfied with a house that a nurse and a mechanic could afford? How about his working class neighbors? So much of his appeal was status after all.

This doesn't actually matter to the story, this is just me being anal. I have rated the story quite highly.

i gave it a 2.5 because it another of the greater good/be the better man shit. Jane compares her divorce to his. Are they the same hell no. Was her kids calling another woman mom, no. Was she out of her kid's life for 12 years...no. So how can you compare the 2, you can't. Here's a man whose son calls him uncle bill. If it was me I'd pray that the bitch died.

3* - pretty blah

Bill would have been better off moving out of the house the same day the whore came back home. Easy to go back to a small apartment and just see Tom on weekends. the whore replaced him, continuing to live with her in her house ruined it.

If I was in Bill’s situation, I am not sure if I would have even agreed to help. I would push for them to overturn all criminal charges and clear my records before agreeing if I decided to help. Have to get something for myself before the government screwed up my life again. I know I would definitely not have met with the whore once she woke from the coma.

Competent writing. Weak ending. Little character development.

I find it unlikely that divorced spouses would share a home for years until a child left for university (Tom was 14 when the story began). Once the ex-wife could cope (perhaps with hired help), the ex-husband would have moved out, and continued the renewed relationship with his son as other divorced parents do (visits, etc.).

Of course John was there and Bill wasn't, she worked with John!

\

"Bill, you have to make the first move to normalise relations at some level with Evonne." - Why does HE have to make the first move? SHE'S the one that blew everything up, she should be the one to TRY to repair things.

Deserves a better rating. 👏

Mediocre at best. What I liked was the sliver of reality shown with his conviction for the posting of porn and attempted theft, but at the same time you went off the rails with the time he got for it. Since both worked moderate jobs, the amount he tried to steal couldnt have been much. The time he got for it was way too severe. Also his personality was very lacking. Too be honest, if I were the mother, I also wouldnt drag the small child to prision visitation. He forfeited his rights with his actions, even though they were prompted over the distress of his failed marriage. And to hold on the hate for such a long time, still blaming everyone else but himself for his misery is just pathetic.

Meh. That fell flat.

This was different and quite solid. No fantasy revenge without repercussion. No falling back in love. No getting rich suing the hospital. Well done.

Evonne was a piece of shit that doesn't even deserve a house.

The story started great but the interaction after she asked was pretty lame. Why was everything " he had to ...".

It went from a reconnect to one man against everyone else.

This tale is not up to your norm by a damn-site. Remember, quality supercedes quantity always.

That ending was great. He told the cheating bitch, in no uncertain terms, exactly how he felt about her and the dead bastard. Unusual story, but we’ll told. A*5 for the ending and especially avoiding the RAAC.

I think the MC was punished way too much and the wife and lover got to go on and live a good life. I understand John died, but still, until then they were golden. I'm glad Bill reconnected with his son, but overall found this story very depressing.

That could’ve ended better than what it did. Him and Jane together would’ve been appropriate with them getting custody of Tom, and the whore getting visitation rights only

Scores 3/5

Pretty good. Sometimes revenge doesn't work out and it sometimes blows up in your face. I was half expecting the mother and father to get back together with him forgiving her but you didn't go there thankfully. I love reconciliation stories but the ex was to darn twisted to forgive, I'm shocked the guy even stayed but then he didn't want to miss out on anymore time with the son. 5 stars, I love a good revenge story but sometimes its nice to see when they revenge doesn't work out so well without devolving into some willing cuck stuff.

What a fucked up life for them all

Overdramatize much?

“A heart so cruelly blackened by me...”

All I could think of was the overacting parents in the Christmas Story “soap poisoning” dream sequence:

“Is it something we did? What brought you to this lowly state?!”

At least you didnt post 37 stories today, that said this was still weak. Their whole affair and the reasons for it just were ...meh.

And staying in the house when the whore came back? C'mon.

Another cliched setting up the court to rape the husband. And then the two love birds kissing just to piss him. Lazy writing trying to agitate the knuckle draggers by firing up their emotions. 90% do it but the knuckle draggers arent quite adept enough to grasp what you writers try and do.

And this jewel "Bill, you have to make the first move to normalise relations at some level with Evonne." Ever actually been in that situation? That aint on him....no way in hell can he be pointed at the being the one that needs to do that.

Your laws are wrong. He would have to pay her half but the video on public venue is not against the law if they are adults. If the sex act was talking place at work they would have been dismissed. If not dismissed the hospital would have been considered to be a partner in the act under the law.

Enjoyed your story. Glad it didn't turn into a RAAC.

My opinion, mine only.

This is heart wrenching.

As usual I put myself in the shoes of betrayed husband.

It was a mistake. I almost cried of Bill"s pain. I hate how the cheaters would smirk at betrayed spouse and enjoying the SO"s world collapsing. I would have wanted more description of Evonne suffering more though than just sobbing after hearing Bill's inner hate on her. Guess the author wasn't into that despicable female much. This is about Bill and Tom I reckon.

/

This was really good it really portrayed Bill"s pain realistically. Thank you pietro108

You really need an editor!! I have noticed this in all of your stories I have read.

8 years for posting evidence and sponging off money? Get real!!

Why should he sacrifice a single day of his life for his "son"? She pushed the buck to him, now the whore should see where she is. It is unbelievable that after twelve years without knowledge the "son" suddenly becomes his son again. And it is even more unbelievable that the social welfare office makes him, as a convict, the legal guardian of the "son". For my part, I would not have given this whore a day of my life. The bed that you make for yourself, you have to lie in it!

1. Too long prison. It might be maximum 2 years and because of the many true hard criminals the good behavioral earns 1.5 years only! The blue collar husband could hid little deposite and the revenge porn also small felony too.

2. Why the author puts the ex spouses in same house. When the exwife is better shape the exhusband could move back to the small appertment and can live the normal divorced father's life as 2 weeks in summer every second weekend and etc..

3. No RAAC=5*!

Very interesting when a unhappily divorced or separated couple are forced to live together, or for that matter even just to function as a unit together in any way. I liked how you dealt with it, I truly believed your characters and their actions at every turn of the plot. I did feel a drop in the intensity in your ending, just when I found myself expecting conflict between Mom and Dad.

Thanks for writing!

This is reconciliation for the son and not the wife. Good story. The reconciliation tag was used differently this time.

Well….no chance he’s still in the house when she moves back in but still…helluva story. Not sure people go to jail for what he did but maybe. Bit of a happy ending when John croaked. At least a partial happy ending.

So the father, having been shat on from a great height by the court system, denied all access to his son even after release from jail, is suddenly graciously allowed to live in the former family home whilst his wife recuperates? The premise is certainly interesting but I simply don’t see Bill meekly agreeing to it before at least speaking to a lawyer

I’d have loved instead to see the dialogue between the MC and Jane where he puts her on the spot as to why he was denied access to his son

It’s easy to imagine a scenario where he presses Jane to acknowledge the court’s failure to protect his rights as the biological father, and Jane blusters and suggests he ‘forgets the past and do the right thing for his son now’ - but to me Bill doesn’t seem the kind to forgive or forget

Bill ends up petitioning for full temporary custody as sole living relative, with a full time job etc, Tom ends up in the hands of social services whilst the court case is resolved, and, just to balance the scales, Bill also sues Evonne for denying him access to Tom

End result, a total clusterfuck of epic proportions - where’s Saddletramp when you need him, sounds right up his street for an alternative ending….

Still, a much better story than the score reflects, and I look forward to reading more from you

VdB

I would have gone once a week to a John’s grave and dropped my piss on him. It wouldn’t affect John but it would make me feel much better each week.

I would have liked to see it end differently. It would have been super good if they could have reconciled.

A really intriguing and compelling plot idea; congratulations! All of it made sense and was plausible as far as emotions and circumstances could allow. It does beg the question, why did The Whore not start dating again to replace her big dicked asshole? If she remarried I'm sure the ex husband would be kicked to the curb once again. Or are we meant to understand that The Whore decided to allow her ex husband remain in their son's life despite the grief and pain his presence must cause her, the constant reminder of her betrayal and robbing her son of his true father. Possible, but I doubt the bitch ever felt true remorse or regret, only that her cheating asshole killed himself and almost killed her.

Other than that more likely reaction on her part, the whole story was very well crafted and executed. Of course there could have been much much more about her grief, her interaction with her ex husband, and her son's eventual understanding of what her mother had actually done to destroy his father and their family.

I have to say, if The Whore was that impressionable and shallow and unethical, then the ex husband actually got what he married. If it hadn't of been asshole one it would have been some other medical world asshole; they're everywhere.

Again, great writing and imagination. Thanks for the effort.

Before you embark on revenge, first dig two graves. This fool of a MC is still cold in his tomb, has learned nothing. So the story was well enough written but the subject and treatment was to be frank, trite. Eternal male hatred of the straying wife is so common in these stories it is a wonder you all just don't cut and paste...perhaps you do.

I liked the way the story evolved though so four stars.

The true fallout from this story doesn't come from the botched revenge of its MC, but from the adultery that created said revenge. Obviously.

If Jane doesn't cheat on Bill, he doesn't lose his mind in anger, doesn't sent revenge porn through Facebook, which doesn't end up sending him to prison... Her cheating is what truly cause all the repercussions that was mentioned in that last paragraph. Nothing else.

Some cheap legal cleanup: the most hardcore revenge porn law in the States is, thus far, in Nevada, where the culprit could get up to 4 years in prison... not a first offender, though - even with the worst defence lawyer on Earth, you wouldn't get more a year in the big house, even less with good behavior. And, as for the fraud claim... who did Bill stole from here? Cause that was HIS MONEY he tried to hide there, not Jane's! So I have no idea how they managed to prosecute him over moving HIS OWN MONEY around before his divorce, which is completely legal - honestly, they have to proof that he indeed try to hide asset before his filling, which is not at all as simple as it sounds.

All this to say: all the legal stuff out of this story is garbage. I get it, the author needed to put Bill out of commission for a while for his tale to work... so how about making his MC assault the bastard that destroyed his life? Make sense, given the situation, plus you actually can buy him doing some major time over it. Ah well...

Overall, a pretty good story about the consequences of CHEATING (I know the author wants to make it about the revenge, but he's off the mark there.) I can definitely understand the MC about never forgiving his ex our what happened - I mean, who in their right mind would? Senseless cheating is, once again, senseless...

Just another day in LW.

A new low and pathetically stupid.

.

7 year forca 1st offence that was justifiable with extenuating circumstances?

.

And Jane the case worker lecturing him about having to could find his wife because she knows how the husband felt.... Since if she had been through a divorce 2 years ago. It's not remotely the same thing

First of all if you plan on BTB you have to carefully hide all of your assets and money in an off shore account and leave no trace, then you do not exact any revenge that can be traced back to you, especially before the divorce is final. At that point just become the cheated on spouse, kick the cheating bitch to the curb and get a quick divorce. He was stupid and that is why he lost so much to the ex-wife when she prevailed in the divorce.

I loved it BUT a much better ending is needed.

I wish I could write like you.

I must agree with the other Anonymous

Great.

I do prefer 2-3 page stories because there is not much rubbish packing in them.

I assume the way you left the ending open.

Its going to be continued..............If its a chain story then sorry I will not be reading it.

Sorry for the last comment.

I don't like stories in the form of 1, 2 ,3 4, 5 ,6 etc.

Still I liked it a much better ending was needed.

However I do wish I could write like you.

Good, until Evonne responded to Bill’s final rant. She gave in far too quickly, was immediately too agreeable. She never acknowledged her poor behavior, or that he didn’t do anything to deserve it.

Great story, loved Bill's rant... The whore never stated her actions nor did she express that Bill never deserved the treatment he got... 5 Stars... Hope there is another chapter coming soon...

Good story but the ending is weak. The story is tagged as 'reconciliation' however, it's not the kind of reconciliation I recognise.

What a load of crap!

Very good story. Thank you. 5 Stars!

What a cunt. Glad that bastard died. His whore should suffer miserably forever

Kind of sad that I read this two months ago, and have no recollection of it at all.

I kind of liked the story as far as it went, and some of it mirrors my own life. But you could easily have added another page or two and had a new loving relationship develop between them and that would have been a great way to end.

A following chapter seems to be required to close this story, nice build up but poor and short ending.

"I will not say sorry???" What? After all she had & her doctor lover had done to him. She won't say she is sorry b/c (in her opinion) "it won't heal his hurt". How does she know that? Plus, any possible healing of his hurt can only begin by her admitting "she was wrong & asking for his forgiveness". And whether she thinks "it won't heal his hurt" that's not the point. Whether the 'one offended' accepts the apology or not; she has ruined her first husband's life for the last 13 years (half of it in prison) and maybe going forward as well. Apparently, she still believes that she deserved better than Bill. She and her doctor lover were the ones that seem to get a big kick out of the divorce trial & Bill being sentenced to 7 years in prison. And in all that time, never visited him or allow him to see his son. All the while she lies to her son that his real Dad doesn't want to have anything to do with him.

The only thing missing is Evone’s own admission that he was the better man. We needed to hear her story. How could such a selfish man had been a good father? Surely there must had been moments of trouble? Why hadn’t they had more children? How could a wife stealing bastard had been a good father and role model?

Well done

Too true to life. Two stars, not for your successful effort in writing about life, but because I hated it for being so real.

A sad story but very true to life

Very sad, thankfully Tom was a winner in a story full of losers. Nice that the child was put first, unusual in this section (loving wives). Well written, much closer to real life than most other stories on lit.

As others have said, very, very sad. I was uncertain of what score to give this until I read the ridiculous comment by an anon: "Too true to life. Two stars, not for your successful effort in writing about life, but because I hated it for being so real."

Are you f...ing kidding? I immediately scored a five & wished I could go higher to off-set that.

According to Ron White: "You can't fix stupid."

Your stories always start well, though lacking proof reading and editing. But, you just need a lot of work on your endings. It appears you just get tired of the story and give it up with an abrupt cliché.

Disappointing!

I saw this as a different and interesting set of circumstances between father and son, preceded and followed by some very weak story telling. It could have been great. But it wasn't. -2-

Ok. This was an interesting premise for a story. Most of the cheating wife stories, the wife gets burned, and the husband acts cool and rational. In this example, he reacted with emotion, when he posted the video. I believe this is a more normal reaction. But here are the issues I had with the story.

#1. Getting a sentence of 8 years, for posting revenge porn. You can shoot someone and kill them, and claim mental duress due to the situation, and get a slap on the wrist. Getting 8 years, was a serious stretch. I do believe the judge would have screwed him over in the divorce due to this, but 8 years in jail, not gonna happen.

#2. The story never explained what happened to the cheating pair. Just said he died, and mom was in a hospital “ sick”. If they got in a car accident, she would have been injured, not sick. If not, why did her new husband die?

#3. Do you really think the state, would have allowed him to take up residence in her house? They would not have had the legal right, to do more than let the son stay with him.

#4. Maybe I haven’t met enough women, who get hit by the Martian slut Ray. But I still can’t believe, the number of stories on Literotica, where a happy wife, with a loving family, just decides to go nuclear on her husband, and divorce him for monetary reasons. I don’t think, her reputation would have ever recovered from that.

#5. They were screwing on hospital grounds. The Hospital would have fired them both, not just demoted them. Hubby should have also been able to sue them, for allowing this to happen on company time. I am sure plenty of Co- workers were aware.

#6. The myth of the low paying, grease monkey. My dad was a mechanic his whole life. He retired in the mid 80’s. Made very good money back then. Today, there are different levels of mechanics. To become a master, can take some time. But there are plenty of guys, who still bring home the big bucks.

So overall, a decent story line. But the details were lacking, and this took away, from the final effort. I gave it a 3.

This author doesnt even realise,

he's probably convinced every man who reads this story to get a vasectomy

Original story that I found well written and enjoyed.

5 from me if only to balance out the other assholes.

Not really satisfied with ending somehow. Oh well, otherwise a really good story.

Seems like you ran out of ideas for the ending and just turned off the light? To bad

Poor ending. So much more to be developed. Three stars for the incomplete story!

Weak ending. He should have called her on not only not bringing his son to visit, but actually telling Tom that his father had chosen not to see him.

I see a lot of comments about a poor ending. And they are right. It was awful.

weak

Insipid.

Why would you write a story about such a weak willed pussy?

Nothing erotic in this one at all. Just misery and heartbreak. Disappointing.

piss poor...no real ending..almost like the author suffers from pre-mature ejaculation issues...cant finish properly

This was shit

I disagree. Your story ended right ware it should. As far as the jail sentence is concerned, it was harsh, but like some American laws, founded on British Common Law they are way to extreme, punishment wise for the so-called crime. What she did had no barring on what he did, and that's not right, law or not. As I read this , I wondered if Bill had anything to do with what caused the accident, but it never came out, so apparently not???! We will never know. It was a good story line, well written. A couple of grammar errors which should have been caught. Remember, editing makes the read more enjoyable. Keep writing.

XYZ

Total bollocks, he should never have gone to the hospital to see the bitch and should have moved out as soon as the whore moved back home and what’s with the son having the bastards last name.

Really good story. Sad but good.

Interesting story, but without an ending. How to you apologize, for taking 8 years of a man’s life away from him, and his family? How do you ask for forgiveness, when you take all of his assets, and deny his son visitation? All because wifey was a whore. And decided to trade up.

And the “ films” were taken at work, on company time. No real repercussions for that, as well, for the cheaters? And the son is overjoyed to have mom back, and isn’t even upset about the lies she told him? I don’t believe it would go down this way-

Ok. so the revenge porn thing, is a little new to me. I assumed it was to punish someone, who posts pics or vids that a Irate spouse or boyfriend had legit, that they posted to defame an exes reputation after the breakup? I understand that he posted it on his, or their, Facebook site. However, his lawyer really had to suck. No way he goes away for 8 years, on this. She was screwing her boss, at the hospital, and getting PAID for it! Staying late at work, and neglecting her child. Also, almost every divorce story on this site, one of the spouses either freezes the funds, and withdraws them. At the first court date, the offending party is expected to allow the spouse access to 1/2. They are not thrown in Jail. Heck, some people commit murder, and get less that 8 years.

Not a bad story, although Bill was not much of a man. He should have gone after that bastard and done some physical damage to him. Then he could have done the 8 years in prison. Not much he could have done to the whore. But he should have sued the hospital for a few million.

I get the idea of the story is, a divorced couple can individually make a good impression on the kid without being together, but not in this one. After being wiped out, sent to prison and alienated from his kid, he's supposed to become a nanny for free? That would not happen! He would tell the same court that told him to fuck off, FUCK OFF BACK AT YOU!

👎🏻👎🏻 This possibly the dumbest, most pointless piece of trash I've read on this site. Even fiction requires some core of believablity. This had less believabilty than "Sponge Bob Square Pants". The "story" ultimately was about nothing, and resolved nothing. Your MC just got shafted again. QUIT WRITING GARBAGE!

Hmmm, an interesting story, but left me feeling empty.

Probably the best of the stories you have posted.

You find unique and original plot lines. While still a far distance from the elite writers in this group this is a solid improvement

She should have died. The Bear semi-approves. 4 stars because the guy did the right thing, short of killing the fucker. Keep writing. I'll keep reading.

The BEAR

There are so many inane comments about this story, and many from people I previously thought were somewhat intelligent.

LT56linebacker wrote, “She should have died.”

If she died, there would be no story.

other2other1 wrote, “Hmmm, an interesting story, but left me feeling empty.”

I know it is impossible to tell others how they should feel, but perhaps that vacancy is between your ears?

alvinjfrazier wrote, “This had less believabilty than “Sponge Bob Square Pants.” I believe the commentator is better off watching the aforementioned cartoon character as his understanding seemed more intuned with that age group.

It was far from a great story. It is, at best, a reasonable attempt that left a lot unsaid or hard to believe.

I don’t know the US legal system, but I would not think a judge had the right to award vastly disproportionate percentages of marital equity because one party failed to declare some funds. I don’t believe the divorce judge could consider any possibility of criminal charges when making her judgement, particularly if no charges had yet been indited. She could recommend them to the Attorney General’s department or the police, but they should play no part in divorce proceedings.

His sentence for his meagre crimes seemed to be manifestly excessive. There was no mention of the other person who should have been charged, the hospital maintenance technician who installed the spy camera.

How could he spend seven and a half years in a low-security prison without seeing a visitor? Did he have no parents, no siblings, no uncles and aunts, no cousins, and no friends? It seemed odd to me, and the author did not attempt to explain the absence of visitors.

Otherwise, I thank you for the story, as I did enjoy it.