The Fallout

"Jane, this can't go on like this. It is killing all of us. Tom is so excited about having his mum home again, as well as having me in his life again, but I still can't stand to be in the same room as that bitch. Sorry!"

"Bill, you have to make the first move to normalise relations at some level with Evonne. I know what you have gone through. I haven't told you this before, but I have also gone through a divorce due to a cheating spouse. It took me two years before I could even talk to her again. I feel your pain, but it is Tom that you have to think of. You already know that. Try to come to some sort of understanding with your ex-wife, so that Tom doesn't have to live in a toxic environment for the rest of his home life, please. He is such a good kid. Don't wreck him by exposing him to constant negativity and outright hatred. Please Bill do it right!"

"Damn that woman," I thought. "She is right."

I took a day off work and while Tom went to school, asked Evonne to come to the lounge for a talk. She was hesitant at first, probably thinking that she was going to be the subject of a rant and tirade about her past actions. "Bill," she began, but I cut her off.

"Evonne, first let me tell you that what you and John did to me was beyond reprehensible. You broke my heart so badly that it took me years of soul searching and reflection, along with some jail-provided counselling to put a little light back into my black heart. I wanted you and that asshole dead. I knew however, that it would mean Tom would be left alone. I am telling you now, bluntly, honestly that I am pleased he is dead." She let out a stifled sob as I said that. "He took away from me the person who filled my heart with joy and promise. That was you. He took you away from me. He stole you. Not because of anything I did or did not do, but purely by convincing you that you deserved better than me and that I was too lowly for you. He was nothing but a conniving, lying bastard. He planned for you to be with him from the very start. He convinced you of all the lies and disrespect towards me. I will never forgive him for doing that to you, and I will never forgive you for allowing yourself to be trapped by his web of deceit. You didn't trust me, but you allowed yourself to trust a man, if I can call him that, a snake who plotted and connived to trick you from the start."

I took a breath. I wasn't shouting, I, strangely, wasn't angry. I was just telling it from my heart. "Tom needs not just me now. He also needs you. He loves you. I don't and never will again. I don't think I can love anyone else again the way I loved you. How can I dare to put myself on the love line again after being so coldly and cruelly treated by the both of you. I will forever call John, 'bastard' and I will forever think of you as, 'whore'. I am sorry, but that is how it is. I will live in this house, not my home. I will provide what I can for Tom and be the dad he needs. I will not provide for you. I am sure that bastard had some insurance, or something which will allow you to contribute to the household, but that is it. End of story!"

Evonne was sobbing uncontrollably by now. She managed to take control of her breath after a while and simply said, "You're right Bill. Everything you said is right. I will not say sorry, because that will never heal your hurt. I see that Tom has provided the ray of light to your heart. A heart so cruelly blackened by me. I agree with everything you have said. I will try to be civil at all times, especially around Tom. If it means anything at all, thank you for being there for our son. He has grown to love you again. A love that I am jealous of, but a love that was destined from his birth. Thank you!"

She left to her room again and from then on, a semblance of normality reigned. Tom grew and graduated from college to begin his university course. He wanted to study counselling, especially family counselling! Poor bugger could write the book on that one.

I left for my own lodgings as soon as Tom left.

That quest for revenge so many years ago had repercussions way beyond what it was meant to do.