All Comments on 'The Fateful Incest Ch. 01'

Okay, first I thought this reads like a script for a screenplay, and less like an actual story. But then the emoticons started, and the weird hyperbolics, and I just have to ask... are you sure you're old enough to be on here?

Hope Dad gets involved also;

Who let's a grown child sleep between the parents instead of the 2nd bedroom? Of company comes over the the kid can hit the floor or couch.

That was just plain horrible. Well, that's not entirely true. It was also stupid, badly written, childish, and boring.

What a wonderful imagination you have. The setting - sleeping between the parents is totally wierd! Required only to get you next to mom in bed. Think of another scenario! Your difficulty is with tense and getting your text to the same level and timing (which is tense related).

Good that you wrote this and, with repetitive submissions, as you mention in closing, your comfort level with errotic story's will grow, improving your offerings.

What the hell did I just read?

You’re writing a story not a movie script.

Why is an American family living in Moscow and why the hell would an adult son be sleeping in his partners bed?

Get an editor and maybe a certificate of Notary that you’re at least 18.

Reminiscent of days at the cabin. Later learned mom planned the family sleeping arrangements (often nonsensical) to be with her favorite.

I see that some readers:

1) found the parent son same bed arrangement forced and weird.

2) doubt me being under-aged.

3) americanish names wrong.

so to answer that,

first of all the names are that way because of some reasons that will eventually be revealed in future

secondly, I am 18+ and in clg. if anyone doesnt feel satisfied with that, its not my concern to answer you.

lastly, in my culture it is not odd for having parents and children share their bed even on a regular basis and is in fact quite normal, hence why the details in given manner. It is quite interesting to find out that much of rigidity against it globally, so will keep that in mind for future works.

Note: This is a series and that is why placing is a bit slow

Also thank you all for sharing for feed-backs. I appreciate the honest criticism and will try to improve my delieveries <3

Writing is not simply stringing togrther words and punctuation.

Difficult to follow. You may want rethink this and rewrite it