The Filthy Princess

Jonas feels the heavy weight of the chain mail on his shoulders, and the unfamilar feeling of a sword hanging from his belt. Is this all it takes to turn a farmboy into a hero? He straightens his back and stands at attention when the King's Chancellor appears on the balcony to speak to them.

"Heros of Arnheim! Proudly you stand, wearing the King's chain mail. You carry the royal design on your chest, so that all who see you shall know that you are on the King's Quest, the quest to save the Princess.

"Be brave! Be vigilant! Be bold! Do not think that you are safe just because no-one on this quest has so far met significant danger. No-one has yet found any trace of the Princess. Should you find her, you will almost certainly be in mortal peril!

"And remember the prophecy: A single hero will be able to penetrate the spells that hide her from us. But he can do so only once. If you find the Princess, do not return for reinforcement. Do not leave without her. You will have one chance only! Be brave!

"Go forth with the King's blessing and the support of all of Arnheim!"

--oOo--

Nineteen years earlier

The King and Queen walk slowly down the stairs from their thrones, and out on the floor of the throne room. The Queen holds their newborn daughter in her arms, and the King announces her to the assembled noblemen.

"Behold Princess Belinda. Our firstborn. Heir to the throne. Heir to Arnheim!"

One by one the noblemen approach the royal couple, bow, and bless the baby princess with the traditional words

"Blessed be Princess Belinda. Long may she live!"

The noblemen leave the throne room, and the King turns to the Queen to say something. He is, however, interrupted by a guard who slams open the door and rushes in.

"Sire! Sire! Three strange women demand to see the King. We cannot deny them, anybody who tries to say no to them cannot speak the words!"

"The Fay," the King says, with fear in his voice. "Let them in! Bow deeply to them, and let them in!"

Moments later three women dressed in grey enter the throne room. Nobody who sees them can be in any doubt that they are somehow supernatural. They are alike like sisters, and appear ageless. Still, the King somehow sees that the leftmost is the youngest, and the rightmost the oldest.

"Greetings, your Royal..."

"... Highnesses. We come to bless your..."

"... daughter, as we have done for so..."

"... many generations."

They interrupt one another, completing each other's sentences in a most confusing way.

"I am honored," the King says. "What a pleasant surprise."

"A surprise? Had you lost faith in us, just..."

"... because we did not come when you were..."

"... born? That was not needed, your fate..."

"... was to rule in peace and..."

"... prosperity..."

"... until the birth of your firstborn. So we..."

"... saved our blessings for her, for she..."

"... will need all our power to save..."

"... her."

The King and Queen look scared. "What is that supposed to mean."

Now the middle sister speaks, without the other interrupting her.

"We see the dark shadow of fate over her, something dreadful and ominous. But we cannot see what it is. Even my sister," she points at the oldest of the three, "cannot see it, and she sees the future far better than anyone else. So we come to offer our blessings and general protection, that is all we can do."

The youngest sister steps forward, and places her hand over the young girl.

"I bless your body and your health, Princess Belinda. May no disease or pestilence harm you, may no weapon and no accident harm you. Whatever befall you, your body and your health will remain strong."

Then the second sister steps forward, "I bless your mind and your soul, Princess Belinda. May no spell, no accident, no tragedy break your mind and spirit. May you never despair, even in the darkest of times. You shall be wise and courageous, and neither success nor hardship will poison your mind."

Then the third sister steps forward, but as she does so she staggers as if overcome with vertigo. The King reaches out to steady her, but the youngest sisters stops him.

"It is a vision. She finally has a vision."

The Fay stands in trance for a while, then she wails and collapses, with tears running down her cheeks. Her sisters catch her, and the King fetches a chair for her.

"Oh no, oh no, what an evil fate," she mumbles. Then she gathers her wits.

"I am afraid that a dark fate awaits your daughter, unless we can avert it. Her childhood will be happy, but once she comes of age, three evil warlocks will come for her. They will be half human, half troll, and mighty in spellcraft. Nothing you do to protect her will avail, and they will abduct her.

"Their plan is to curse her, and then to rape her daily until both her body and mind are broken. Then they will return, kill your Majesty, and install her on the throne as their puppet. In that way they expect to rule Arnheim."

"Alas that we wasted our one benediction on general blessings," the youngest sister lamented.

The older sister sits a while in thought, before answering, "No, that is a good thing. You have blessed her body and her mind, but you did so blindly without knowing who or what was threatening her. For that reason the warlocks will not be able to see your blessings, and they cannot avoid them. You have already thwarted their evil plans. They will fail to break her body and her mind, and she will never be their puppet."

She looks at the King and Queen before continuing, "My sisters have saved the kingdom. But the Princess herself must still be saved, or she will suffer tremendously. That must be my task."

She thinks it over for a while, then she speaks again. "They will place many curses on her. I cannot prevent them all, some she will have to suffer. But the worst I can try to break."

She rises and goes over to the baby, then she holds her right hand over her.

"Evil warlocks will curse you with a spell of hiding, and hidden you will be, but not from all. A hero shall be able to find you. He will have one chance to pass through the spell, and if he takes it he will find you.

"Evil warlocks will curse you with a spell of binding, and bound you will be, but not forever. A hero shall come to you, and in his presence you shall break the spell of binding."

Then she raises both hands, and all present can feel how she gathers all her power.

"Evil warlocks will curse you with a spell of death, death to all who love you. Thus they expect to kill your family and all who might protect you. But that mighty spell shall fail, to the utter ruin of the warlocks! I have spoken!"

Then she collapses, and her sisters help her out of the throne room.

--oOo--

Jonas has been riding for a week, sleeping in inns when possible and under trees when not. He is now among the foothills of the Iron Mountains, with a feeling that he is on the right track. He has met three other heroes of the Quest. They claim to have search the mountains and that there is nothing to be found. Jonas knows they speak the truth, the mountains surrounding the Kingdom of Arnheim are the most obvious place to look for the Princess, and the Iron Mountains are the tallest and the most obvious. Yet his heart tells him to ride on.

He follows a narrow path. It is clear that at least two other horses have passed this way very recently, so it is his plan to leave the main track as soon as an alternative presents itself. Suddenly, a small river crosses the path. He looks to the right, it comes out of a long, narrow canyon. Obviously, nothing of interest is in the canyon, and Jonas rides on, following the tracks of the previous riders.

What was that, he thought. Did he ride by a boring canyon? Why was that canyon so uninteresting? He turns back his horse and return to it. As he looks up the canyon he knows that nothing can possibly be there, nothing to see, nothing to investigate. He turns the horse so he can ride away.

"Wait, this is wrong," he whispers to himself. "I decided to leave this path at the first chance. Why am I so sure that there is nothing here? This is fishy! I swear I will investigate this canyon."

He turns the horse once again, and rides into the canyon in spite of knowing beyond any doubt that it is a complete waste of time. The most stupid and pointless thing he has ever done.

"But I swore," he says to himself, and continues.

He follows the small river for a few minutes. The canyon floor is undisturbed, no-one has passes here for weeks, if not longer. Soon the feeling of boredom and of irrelevance passes away.

That was weird, he thinks. What did the Chancellor say? 'A single hero will be able to penetrate the spells that hide her from us. But he can do so only once.' Was that what I just did?

With a feeling of unease, Jonas slowly draws his sword.

He follows some kind of path through the canyon and into a narrow valley beyond. The perfect hiding place for either brigands or warlocks, although the valley seems to only be inhabited by wild rabbits. Soon, he sees what is undoubtedly a human bone on the path. He dismounts, and finds other bones just off the path, and a skull. It looks like somebody died here, and then animals - perhaps wolves - ate the corpse and spread the bones. Jonas knows that it is possible to see on a skeleton if it was a man or a woman, but he does not know how, so he can only hope that he has not found the princess.

He continues on foot, with his sword in his right hand while leading the horse with the left. Very soon, he comes upon more human bones and two more skulls. He is somewhat relieved, this makes it less likely that he found the remains of the princess. But it could easily be a party of heroes looking for her, he must proceed with caution. A few rabbits are reluctantly yielding the path when he approaches, but he does not let that lull him into complacency.

Soon the path passes by the foot of a vertical cliff. Numerous small bones are on the ground, and a smell of shit. He looks around and find a small pile of what looks like rabbit bones, with human feces in between. He looks up. The cliff continues almost vertically for 12 or 15 feet, but then there is a ledge. Maybe somebody lives up there, using the cliff as toilet and to dispose of rabbit bones.

The path goes steeply up here, and Jonas follows it with a beating heart. It will take him to the ledge where the rabbit-eater lives. Moments later, he has arrived. He stands still, looking for any hint of who lives here.

The ledge is maybe 40 feet by 60, and covered with short grass. Two rabbits are grazing, unafraid, and otherwise nothing moves. A large fire is mostly burned down, but the embers are still so hot that it can be reignited easily. But most importantly, there is a cave mouth in the cliff. To one side of the cave, a tiny stream falls down from above. At the other side, a shiny metal ring is fastened in the stone itself, and a long, thin silvery chain is attached to it. The chain goes into the cave. It is so thin is must almost certainly be reinforced with magic, otherwise it would hardy be able to hold a rabbit captive.

Slowly, Jonas enters the cave. The silvery chain continues along the cave floor, towards a sleeping shape. It is a woman, she is naked and sleeping with her back to Jonas on a large pile of what looks like rabbit skins. The chain is attached to a metal collar around her neck. Her hair is a tangled mess, and there are smears of dirt on her back and on her ass. Is this the princess? Who dares to treat a princess like this?

Jonas looks at her, she breathes smoothly.

"Your Highness," he says with a low voice. He neither wants to startle her, nor alert her captors.

"Your Royal Highness."

He speaks a little louder this time. The woman jumps up, grabs a wooden club from the floor, and stands ready to defend herself. Then she seems to relax.

"You wear my father's sign on your armor. Have you come to free me?"

"Yes. My name is Jonas, and I..."

He is interrupted by the woman, who drops the club, runs to him, and hugs him with both arms around his neck. He reluctantly places a hand on her back and meekly squeezes back. Jonas is not used to be embraced by naked women, princesses or commoners!

Then he notices her smell. She smells of sweat, and of fear, and unwashed armpits. She certainly does not smell of princess. He wonders why she has not washed in the stream outside, the chain is long enough to reach it.

"Let's break that chain and get you out of here before your captors come back."

She let go of him. "They won't come back. I am pretty sure they are dead."

Jonas opens his bag, and takes out the cape he uses when traveling in inclement weather.

"You can wear this," he says.

"I doubt it. But let me try."

The princess takes the cape, and wraps it around her body, making her look quite decent. But soon she gets a pained look on her face, then she shakes a bit, and finally she throws the cape away with a scream.

"It burns my skin. Oh, they have cursed me so badly. How can I ever get my life back?" Her shoulders are red as if the cape really burned her, and tears are running down her face.

"What happened?"

"Sit down," she sobs, indicating a large log lying in the cave in front of an impressive stack of firewood. Whoever collected that was planning to stay here for a long time.

"It's a long story, but you are not in a rush. You won't be able to break this one easily," she says, holding her chain in her hand.

"I was abducted from the courtyard. It was supposed to be safe, but three troll-like warlocks had made their way in, stunning all with their spells. They stunned me, too. When I woke up I was lying over a horseback like a sack of beets, my hands tied behind my back. I was badly bruised, as if I had been riding like that for days. Soon we came to this valley, and they forced me into the cave.

"Once inside, they ordered me to strip naked. I refused of course. They could kill me, perhaps they could tear off my clothes, but they could not make me strip, or so I thought. But they cast a spell on me. Soon the clothes were uncomfortably warm, then they began burning my skin. The pain became unbearable, and they laughed as I tore off my clothes.

"Then one of them claimed that I was ugly and skinny, and looked way too human. He cast a spell on me, and my bones began to warp. I could feel the bones move inside me, it hurt really bad. My arms and legs became crooked, and my face deformed.

"'Now she looks like a decent troll, she should smell like one, too,' one of them said. He wanted to cast a spell on me that would make me never want to wash. But the others thought it was more fun to make me unable to wash, even if I wanted to. So they cursed me once again. No water cannot touch my body. I can drink, but I cannot wash.

"I began feeling my bones shift again. It was slower this time, but still painful. But it felt like the bones were straightening out again, slowly but surely. One of their spells was failing. That gave me some hope.

"Then they took a long, flimsy chain. One of them held me, another wrapped one end around my neck, and then he went outside with the other end. The third cast a long and complicated spell. The chain around my neck became this collar, and the chain itself was fastened in the rocks outside, and became super strong.

"Finally they told me that they were going to cast a spell on me, so that if anyone who loved me saw me, he would die a painful death. That way I would kill my parents, they told me. Two of them held me, while the third began the spell, but they seemed nervous. The spell was very complicated, and probably both difficult and dangerous. At least he suddenly fumbled a word and tried to correct it. The other two were terrified when that happened, and seconds later the spell collapsed, hitting all three warlocks. They screamed in pain, and ran out of the cave. One jumped off the edge, the others ran down the path, but not very far. I could hear them scream where they had fallen, and later moan. I think it took them all day to die. Later that night, I heard wolves outside the cave, I have only heard them once or twice since."

"I found the bones of three men around a hundred yards down the path," Jonas said.

"Yes, that must be them. Anyway, I was chained naked in a cave, alone and with no food. They had left a fire burning outside, I put more wood on it when evening came, hoping that somebody would see the light. But nobody ever did. The next morning I was still alone, and starving. Fortunately these stupid rabbits are all over the place. If I sit outside with the club, they will come and eat the grass. Eventually, one will be close enough that I can hit it. An hour later, they are back. They never learn, but they keep me alive. I am so tired of rabbit meat!"

"What a story, your Highness. Let's try to break that chain. I am good at breaking things!"

Jonas goes outside where the light is better. He picks up a large stone, then he places the chain on a rock, and hits it with all his force. Three times he strikes the chain, before the stone shatters. There is not even a scratch on the chain.

"For the first month, I spent half the day hitting that stupid chain with rocks. I never managed to scratch it."

As she speaks, Jonas turned his head towards her. Then he rapidly averts his eyes, and blushes. He can see the hair between her legs! Tears come to his eyes, how could anyone humiliate a princess like that!

The princess places some wood on the embers of the fire, and soon it is burning again. She has a couple of rabbits hanging in the cave, caught the day before, and they fry one of them. Jonas gives some of his traveling food to her, she much prefers that over more rabbit, and then they sit in silence and eat. Jonas, the farmboy turned hero, and the naked princess.

When darkness comes, Jonas offers to sleep outside the cave, so she can have some privacy. But she wants nothing of it.

"I have been alone for so long. I know that you will not leave me in the middle of the night, but that fear will be in me, and I will not sleep. Come, remove your armor but keep your clothes on. Then you can lie next to me."

So he does just that, and lies down next to Princess Belinda. First, he tries to keep some distance, but she moves closer, until her back is touching his chest, and he is spooning her.

"Place your arm over me, and hold me," she says.

Jonas places his arm over her, careful not to touch her breasts, nor the bush between her legs. Her tangled hair is right in front of his face, and the smell of unwashed woman is strong.

'I am glad the King cannot see me, he would not approve.' With that thought, Jonas falls asleep.

He still spoons her when he wakes up next morning. She is awake, but has been waiting patiently for him to wake up. She goes outside, and asks him to turn his back while she pees and shits over the edge of the rocky shelf. Then she takes a rough wooden cup, fills it with water in the creek, and drinks it.

"I cannot even use my hands to drink from," she said. "See."

She forms a cup with her hands, and tries to lower them into the creek. A cloud rises as the water near her hands turns to steam. When she pulls her hands back, they are not even wet.

After a breakfast of cold meat, Jonas makes a small pile of firewood, and pulls the chain over it. He asks her to hold it really tight, then he draws his sword, and with all his force he strikes the chain upon the firewood. He drives the sword more than halfway through the topmost piece of wood, and the chain follows the sword in. When he finally gets the sword free, it is obvious that the chain is unharmed, and his sword is notched.

Jonas then goes hunting for something better than rabbit. The princess has begun getting worried when he finally returned.