All Comments on 'The French Exit'

Really good. Would love to read the article

Interesting concept and well done for the most part if a tad on the long side, but some plot elements really hurt this story.

The idea of hubby going on a dream vacation while locked up is too far out there.

No real reason for hubby being given the crappy quality food, nor could I see someone going along with talking that level of crap from their spouse.

The wife being so distrait when the shit hits the fans is just not believable. No sane person would risk something that holds such value to them, if losing it would be that devastating. Not to mention, why the wife in this tale would play such stupid games in such a public setting when she was getting away with her affair. Why rub it in her husband's face?

The wife having cheated previously in their relationship really damaged the husband's entire mindset of their marriage being over if the wife was playing around.

this was a good story, a bit long, but good. Would like to have more on the lead up to the vacation, from both sides, especially if you were going to talk about the cock cage and chastity. Would have been good to deal more with the "cutting off" the cage, and the escaping process. More follow up on what happens to the others, not much burning, what happened to the newspaper article and the resort.

Very original and unique story, rare find on Lit. Normally very skeptical of the chastity angle, but you were able to fit it in the story as believable. Only annoyance, when you write as an American character, try and use some American phrases like Dollars instead of Pounds, makes the story even better.

Full5, thanks so much.

Compelling, even though I wanted to kill several characters and slap the MC unconscious. If I'm on "vacation" the first time I'm TOLD what to do is when I'm gone. It's basic self-respect. But to get that pissed off was a sign I was engaged in the story, so kudos for that. There are good stories that have zero characters to respect, this is one of them.

What puzzles me is why the MC would have anything to do with Lucienne afterward. Didn't she lie to him as well? Granted, she was not his biggest nemesis, but she was complicit, correct?

Good story, but in need of editing, Look forward to more from you.

Very well written, but too wordy. I felt like I was reading a novel written in the 1890s (Well crafted, but if it is good enough for a sentence then write a paragraph.). There a implausible situations, some holes and errors, but this is free and fiction so I had fun reading it. Thank you for something different.

He put up with a lot of shit from her that didn't coincide with his personality. It was hard to reconcile the two.

Lucienne calling him Honey over and over an over and over again was ingratiating.

It was a great story it kept my interest for the entire length keep up the good work

Great story!

5

To everyone flipping out over he cock cage, this is one reason why fetishist actually do so: Power exchange. Geez, people, there's plenty of literature on the paraphilia out there, try looking it up. It doesn't have to be my cup of tea to do some research.

It seems that it doesn't always imply cuckolding, though that can be as well. It does imply female domination when used in the heterosexual context -- the woman controls when/if the male achieves orgasm. I suppose it could even be used in a loving context if both partners are consenting. Add to that the human male sexual response cycle, and some proponents claim enhanced sexual desire associated with it. Does it really work ? Beats the shit out of me, I'm neither a practitioner nor a proponent.

It's the adultery and dishonesty that would bother me were this a real story. Plus the disrespect from the staff of the resort -- several would have broken bones were this real.

I'm missing some punishment for Sarah and Reuben. It seems her sister was the main force behind seducing Alice into the lifestyle and making him an unwilling cuckold and destroying this marriage.

Also interesting would be the influence of their parents. They knew about the affair, but did they just condone it or did they enhance it?

Usually, a story of this length needs to be "generational" to keep my interest - decades pass, babies become adults having babies, etc. But this was so well written that it kept me interested.

American story, English writer, still, excellent. 5 stars.

Not worth a comment

Great story. Thank you very much.

Great work, thumbs up. 5 star. Keep it up please.

Excellent first story. I look forward to more stories from this author.

No follow up for Alice. What can she say that she didn’t say the first time?

.

A superb piece of storytelling. I only hope you’ll share more of your work. Thanks very much!

Along drawn out 14 fucking pages POS of a heartless CUNT and her loser cuck. cock cage = weak sissy. Sal got all the misery he deserves. Even at the end the sissy doesn't have the balls to jump on a woman who wants him. Oh he must of been wearing the cage again. By the way. I would question a woman who thought he was a good catch. But maybe she was looking for a sissy. As for the Cunt, she pretty much got away with being a CUNT. She'll find another sissy to abuse. No one to like in this large steaming pile.

I don't see how it could have been shorter. The weird and outlandish sexuality can be excused because, well it's Literotica. It's still weird and outlandish and really hard to relate to. But well told.

How does a cock-cage have anything to do with a Loving Wife

I loved this story. At first I thought this was going to be to long but by page 2 I was hooked and couldn't put it down. I went to your stories and found this was your first and I can't wait for the next.

Really great read.

Very nicely done for a first story. Yes, there are edits are needed -- the whole British to American mixes and things like discrete rather than discreet do undermine the credibility of the authorial voice -- but overall it's a nice exploration of character with an interesting process of plot development such that it almost has a film noir feel to it. And while I see there are the usual Amadeus-like series of comments about "too many notes" I personally don't mind longer stories when they're worth working through, as I found this one to be. I'm not a fan of cuckold stuff, but the framing of the cage thing, while a bit sketchy in terms of explication, works well enough for me as a plot device. given that the main character clearly sees it as a denial leading to pleasure thing as opposed to any kind of license or permission given.

I look forward to reading more from you.

4*'s especially since it's your 1st story here. I admit that most of the story I was agitated with Alice and her treatment of Sal. Fourteen pages is a long time to wade through the cuck-aspect of the story. I get the brief ending(compared to the story) and that this is Sal's story, but you gave Alice a voice, as well as Sarah, Rueban, and Donald too in the story, so to end it without really hearing them respond was a tragedy - especially their arrival back or her first time in the house with the pictures switched. That's why it was only a 4* because you "French exited" the readers too.

Too bad he didn't get to bust up Donald. D

Overall enjoyable I was a little disappointed Don never tried his hand at boxing. You did make one monetary reference in pounds not dollars and no one especially not a native New Yorker uses "whilst"

Very well crafted. Long, but it kept moving. Good pacing. I skip a lot of stories this long, but I’m glad I didn’t this time and I look forward to more from you. Thank you.

As an aside, I didn’t pick up any hints of a British context until near the end when Luci “lost 15 stone“ and Donald lost a deal worth many “pounds.“ I think you included enough details to be vivid and interesting without unnecessarily tying the story to specific locales, etc. And you use language in a way that should be easily understood by a global audience. Again, thanks.

The story was just ok. I found it a bit joking and wordy. I kept saying, Sal talks too fucking much. Where is his slut Alice? This was 14 pages and Alice only spoke once or twice. I really didn't understand why the 14 pages? It really wasn't necessary. There was a whole lot of talking but not really saying anything. I would've loved to hear Alice side. Honestly, I found the story boring and long-winded. It had it has promises, hence, why I kept reading but it was just so boring . It made me think of the guy from the clear eye commercial. The premise was good. The story could've been better. Maybe a second part with just the cum slut wife side👀👀

Not sure about the British language, spelling, and phrases spouted by a NYC Italian-American and a girl from Texas, but the story is first rate! Great debut effort!

I really liked the story. Drama, emotion and an ending that was real.

Thank you for that.

Continued success

Almost passed this by . It didn't grab me at the beginning but I'm so glad I stayed with it .

A solid 5* from me .

And yes , let's have a follow up soon .

4 stars, -1 for I've got moves

The last couple paragraphs confused me but the story was very well written overall

Lost interest on page 2 when the cock cage was introduced and I realized there was 14 pages of this utter trash.

14 pages? 14 pages of of nothing. First, you need an editor. Desperately. This story was........ interesting. At first I thought I was reading some sort if cuck story, I hadn't seen a warning so I proceeded. The writer tried to make Sal seem like this tough manly man but than you read the part about him wearing a dick cage🤭🤭🤭.. so naturally, I was confused. As the story goes on, I still haven't been convinced Sal is not a cuck. He allowed so much disrespect, there's no way he was a man. I don't feel feel 14 pages was necessary. It was as if the author just wanted words on paper. Never mind it didn't really add anything to the story or wasn't really saying anything. It was just very long winded. When I saw 14 pages I naturally assumed we'd hear the gutter slut side. I was highly disappointed when it was just Sal talking. I feel like Sal took too long to make a move. He took too long to realize he was being set up to be his wife's bitch. The penis cage didn't seem to ring any alarm bells for some ridiculous reason. My husband would've threw my sorry ass out. This wimp of a husband wore it😭😭😭. All while his slut is getting her holes filled.. the revenge also was ehhhhh.. just ok. All in all it was just a long boring story with no likeable characters

Wow! Amazingly great piece of work and it's just your opening act! Well done. Yes there were parts of this that you had to suspend disbelief for, either the NYTimes stuff or the evil resort or how the wife could be talked into the BS and bring along her folks as accomplices as well. But in the universe of the story it all hangs together well and works. And for me that's the most important part. At no time was I pushed out of the story thinking, no this is not possible. And I know I could have nit picked here and there and come up with a list but I just wanted to read this and enjoy it. AND I have never here the term Phlegmatic before and I had thought I had caught you in a mistake and you meant to write Pragmatic. Nope! Thanks for the education! :-)

Not only way too long, but I have major problems with any man who allows his wife to constrain him with a cock cage without a safe word. i put cock cages in the same category as female chastity belts. Too extreme.

masterful blend of emotional content, sexual values, and even cloak and dagger when Sal rows in to get his proof. I am monogamous and do not really understand the swinging life, and from what I heard here it seems quite shallow and worthless in the long run. Maybe you could have gone deeper into the swinging characters.

Excellent. The weakest part is the very end but not at all significant against a first class story. You have set yourself a very high bar! Congratulations!

Well done. The very end is very weak. As a newbie it’s more than one could expect. Room to grow.

Ok, the premise was contrived, but then this is the LW genre, which thrives on contrived premises, just like thrillers or murder mysteries.

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As for the story itself, I found it to be a solid effort. You took the time to build up the detail, though at times the detail failed to energize the drama --- it could seem mere filler. Also weakening the dramatic pulse of the story was its predicability. We all saw where it was heading. The narrative could have used some surprises.

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Still, despite its flaws, a 5 star offering. Very promising debut.

5 Stars

Great story, thanks for sharing

I'll join with the other commenters who thought the ending was a bit flat. It wouldn't have taken much to fill it out with these short additions:

1. The in-laws return the next day to confirm Sal had moved out without causing any damage. The mother walks into the main living area, sees the picture of Alice, Donald and the two men. Her cry of shock brings her husband into the room. He stands in shocked disbelief for a handful of seconds, then rips the picture off the wall and places it, face against the wall. Then he gathers his wife in his arms as she whispers, "I had no idea. I had no idea." They slowly move through the house, seeing no damage or further pictures until they go up the stairs. Each new photo wrenches a groan from Alice's mother, and a sharp exhale from her father. At the end of the pictures, Alice's mother turns to her husband and says, "We made a mess of this didn't we?". End scene.

2. Write the scene in the airport in third person omniscient. Have Reuben say, "Oh shit!" then read outloud the headline and a sentence or two of the lead paragraph. Donald grabs a copy and begins reading intently, a fury quickly coming over his face. Alice takes one, reads briefly, collapses sobbing. Sarah, reading over Reuben's shoulder rushes to Alice. Donald looks up, says, "The bags are coming out." looks around and finally realizes their small group is center of attention of hundreds of passengers, some attracted to Alice's sobbing, others holding newspapers, pointing at the pictures in the article and to the four scum, a handful of people with their phones out filming the scene. Donald mutters, "Let's get our bags and leave." After getting their bags from the carousel, intently ignoring the crowd's focus on them, pulled into two taxis, Donald and Lucy heading towards their home and the other three heading to Alice and Sal's former home, now only Alice's

3. Make comment that the print edition references more details to be found behind the Times' notorious pay wall. This led to the highest single day on line subscription spike in Times history. Hidden behind warnings of graphics sexual content were all is Sal's photographs and lists of previous Gold ring / Black ring couples. The Times' legal department fended off numerous challenges to that information. Rumbles of illegal hacking went nowhere as the resort's hosting country had no interest in investigating the allegations.

4. The day after the story broke Alice's father was sitting at his desk in his office at the law firm. The managing partner knocks on the door, steps inside and quietly closes the door behind him. Alice's dad leans back, takes a deep breath and exhales. The partner assures him the firm has no interest in losing him, but given the recent publicity it would be best if he took a month sabbatical. "Look over your cases, prepare a list of people you would recommend taking over for you. Come by this afternoon and we'll talk over each case. Then I want you to go home and take care of your family. Be prepared to come in if we come across any issues we can't handle without you." The managing partner let's himself out and Alice's father leans forward, resting his head in his hands, wondering were he went wrong raising his daughters. His decision to tolerate Alice's affair rises to the front of his mind causing him to pound his fists on his desk, "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. I am such a fucking idiot." Then the thought struck him, he would probably never have grandchildren, and for only the third time in his life he wept.

5. Ironically, the repercussions from Sal's expose brought several lucrative clients to his firm as lawsuits, counter lawsuits, and divorces rocked the New York social set.

6. The story and its impact garnered Sal a Pulitzer nomination - a nomination but not a win.

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Then transition back to Sal, his interaction with Snoopy and Lucy.

You could have cut the last two pages in half and it would have had more impact.

Other than that, good story

Extremely engaging and well written. Some suspension of disbelief with the caging acceptance and wife’s disconnection from reality. But creative for sure….thank you!

Never bought the premise. Couldn’t suspend my disbelief. Given the score, I plowed on hoping it would finally be worth it. The end was a major disappointment.

At a minimum this needs a Rhett Butler moment. He needs to tell Alice what an extraordinary piece of crap she is. She needs to have a mirror put up to her face.

Does she ever really get it? Or is she just upset that she got caught and her sick little life got blown up?

And the in-laws! She was planning to end it??!! Are you kidding me! Six months later and she is full on into orgies now. The in-laws are garbage.

But in the end, the set up at the resort just doesn’t fly.

Knoxhard

Great first effort. Time was well spent on character development and conversation between characters. Five Stars!

One of the best I've read here. Thanks

Liked the story line and even though the story was long I read it to the end and enjoyed. Some people will always find faults with stories so one must look at each story on it's merits and readability. Sure people will say he should never have allowed his wife to fit him with a cock caged but do those people really know if there are men walking around wearing a cage at the insistence of their wives? Story editor, sure that might hace improved the readind a bit but then again just about every story I have read an editor might have helped to one degree or another. Hope to read more stories of yours as I'm sure you have more up your sleeve.

No Confrontation??

Most LW readers, in my opinion, crave the confrontation. How will the cheating spouse rationalize the cheating, or show true contrition (not possible in this case; the cheating went on way too long and the humiliation too pronounced). How will the victim spouce conduct themselves? I was cheated by the lack of confrontation. I get Sal's (author's) rationale but it was still a cheat.

This was, in general, pretty well-written. But the overall structure was unbelievable. Cock cage-of course not. In military terms the tactics (grammer, flow, dialogue) were fine but the strategy (how the character of Sal worked or didn't work with the plot) was deficient.

Since I had to skim this excessively bloated, overflowing with too much worthless and empty crap, I cant say for sure what the hell this was.

Im guessing it was a BTB but also you seemed to dig the cucky bits too.

Next time dont take a 5 or 6 page story and fluff it like a cuck does his wifes bull. 14 pages this was not worth.

I realy enjoyed this story one of the best I. have read on this site.

Hope there is more coming

I really liked this story, but find it hard to relate to the main protaganist. Even allowing for the chastity sex-play, one second after finding out the key was left behind, I would be out of there. But his character and the character I play in life are different, and that makes the world go round.

Great story. If you set your story in America, leave your Britishisms out. There are so many of those in this. Mom, not Mum, washing up is not an American phrase, we do multi-million dollar deals not pounds, and how many lbs. in a stone. Despite those oversights, I still gave it 5 stars. Thanks.

Ugh. Too long. Too many uses of the word 'honey.' Lucienne switches to being British?

And his navel gazing was exhausting.

Very impressive for a first story.

Welcome to the fray.

Hooked

Great story. I do agree that the story might, just might, have been better if edited for length, as some things could probably have been left out. However, it held my interest. I do have to disagree w/ those that complain about your story being about a "wimp" or whine that a "real man" wouldn't have gone along with the cage or that he should have reacted more violently. Being aggressive, or angry, or violent, does not make one a real man. Actually, those are all adjectives that come up in domestic violence situations. So, ignore those jerks that think being nice or polite is a sign of weakness. I thought Sal was a real man and demonstrated it repeatedly in your story.

Page 12

The gifts he left for her...fucking hilarious.

A very well told story that really fascinated me! This roller coaster ride of emotions was impressive. And what I particularly liked was that you made your protagonist stand firm. This fact alone makes this story very remarkable. Thanks for the very good work!

Well, he's the usual LW dumbass concerning women. The story is absurd and not believable. But damned if I could stop reading. Sucked me right in. Helluva story.

How the hell did he get thru the TSA metal detector to fly to the island? And a TSA pull-out with hand-wand of his crotch was not humiliate? He would willfully allow himself to be cock-caged leaving for two weeks vacation? Just too much for me and yes I'm a macho male that could never submit to that type of cage torture.

/

The story was at least four pages too long, I found myself speed-reading paragraphs to keep the story flowing/interesting. A few typo's but MS Word does a good job.

/

4.2*, Hooyah, due to the miss-queues at the beginning and an unknown hanging ending, cute as it may be with Maria.

Excellent first story. This started out as a routine, oft-told tale but the interplay of the characters and Sal's internal dialogue made it all feel real. It reads like the Tempest.

The set up is a fantasy. It happens on a mysterious island where a magical resort enforces absurd rules. No one would put up with what Sal is asked to endure. Wanderer Sal finds himself lost, hobbled and betrayed by a faithless wife, surrounded by enemies, and left to deal with a trust-testing Circe. An evil wizard, Mr. Jacobs, bends the rules if his price is paid. Secret friends come to his aid. All this focuses our attention on Sal's choice to be honest and never yield. This story is a keeper.

MF

Outstanding! Very well written story. One of the best I've read on this site. Loved the interaction between the characters. Interesting and compelling dialogue. Had a little trouble accepting the premise of the resort and that a woman who supposedly loves her husband could treat him the way she did especially if this was the last hurrah before she drops the affair and fully commits to him. I look forward to reading your next story.

For the most part well written and well told. But the premise is absurd. What self-respecting person would accept for a minute the different-colored rings and the behavior that flows from them? It literally makes no sense. Still, the author has talent and should keep writing.

Great idea for a plot. But the execution was very clumsy, contrived, and WAY over written. And of course there's the little omission that many authors just don't have the wit, imagination, and human experience to write: WHY? About 9 years of loyal loving faithful wife, then Alice just decides to become Another One of Donald's big cock whores? It was really kind of silly, the way you try to justify the deaf dumb blind cuckold never allowing Alice to explain how and why their marriage failed, and then within a page or two you have the dumb cuck ruefully say, "There was something not right in the relationship. I don't know if it was her or if it was me or if it was the relationship. But she made that decision." And because he was too stupid, or cowardly, or just that dull witted to talk to the pitiful whore, he'll never know. It is a very common and very odd omission, and sucks the quality out of all the positive aspects of the writing.

And you already know that you have way too much to say about people places and things that add nothing to the story, but are just tedious distractions. Do you know how frustrating it is to read the lead sentence in a paragraph, skip the pointless stuffing and go on to the lead sentence of the next paragraph, and then the next, until 3 or 5 paragraphs have been skipped before the story gets back to the plot? Are you getting paid by the word? They are in the middle of an intense conversation about the main plot, and you interrupt it to tell us the waiter brought their food, and that they then began eating it? What The Fuck? Why didn't you interrupt some action when someone has to go take a piss, in a toilet, after closing the door?

And what are British culture and manners and slang doing in New York City? With your penchant for small details, did you think it wouldn't be noticed? These are Not Americans, and this was definitely not an American marriage. The fact that neither Donald nor Reuben now live in a wheel chair, shitting into a plastic bag for the rest of their lives, makes this very much NOT an American marriage breakup. They live in New York City for God's sake. You obviously don't know how accidents and muggings and falling into an oncoming Metro can happen.

So I do appreciate the work and the enthusiasm of your work, but you really need to tighten it up and focus the delivery. It wasn't bad, it just could have been so much better. Get some input on why women fuck up their marriages. Its not simple nor easy, but it is fascinating. A lot more interesting than what they ate, or where they sat, or what their clothes looked like. I hope you do better with future work. Thanks for the effort.

I was disappointed to see only two pages left and he just got on the plane. Brilliant bit with the parents. Never saw it coming.

Outstanding first effort. Bravo!

Gooseberries?

Discrete vs Discreet?

plus a few others

5*

Was a little long.

But the writing overall was good. Good dialogue. Even if it appears you were using too much vernacular from the UK...especially from a character with a working class American upbringing.

I liked the consequences to the main characters. To those who said they they is not get burned enough? That I don't understand?

The NY Times is perhaps the most widely distributed newspaper in the world? Maybe there's one with a larger distribution in China? Just because of its sheer size of population? But you all get the drift. It's certainly one of the most respected publications in the world. Certainly in America no matter what Sean Hannity says.

These people got exposed...with photos as proof as liars and people who cheat 2ith zero regard for others. Remember this was a resort for not just swingers...but that specialized in married couples where one of the spouses was a liar about cheating on the other spouse. The resort worked with the liars to commit not just adultery, but depravity like orgies. And humiliation. There is a reason it's all kept quiet. The behavior of a company where the premise is to assist a cheating spouse to cheat at a level that staggers the mind and humiliate the other spouse? It is utterly repulsive and if exposed by the NY Times? It kills the whole business model of the resort. Any time in the future a cheater tells their unsuspecting spouse they want to take them to the resort? A simple Google search of the name of the resort brings up this story and guess what? Not only no vacation but bye bye marriage.

Then his story was told from his perspective. It names his soon to be ex-wife. Her sister. The BIL. The cheating boyfriend. All of them. Pubically. With edited photos. Of them with multiple partners.

Ever have to survive in upper crust society where everyone judges you for literally every detail in your life? How do.you think life goes for Alice and Sarah at the country club now? Cocktail parties? Hah! Every other jealous bitch they were ever snobby to in their lives now calls them sluts to their faces, and will make shows of not letting them anywhere near their husbands. Life as they have known it since they were young is now over.

The brother in law? How do you think his life now goes? Photos showing him be the submissive clean up boy? The story that as a pink ring bearer he was just fine with his wife fucking whoever she wanted while putting him in chastity so she could do it in front of his face? Where it's even implied that he's fine with maybe even being the "fluffer" for his wife and her boyfriends? How does his life proceed in business from there on out? It's pretty much over. I know if he was someone I vaguely knew...next time i and most of my other friends are at any gathering he's at and the drinks start flowing he'd be one sad little bitch. Most of.my friends are brutal. They'd probably give him the most demeaning nickname they could muster and start calling him it to his face. I hardly think we are alone amongst most red blooded grpups of men in the world.

And lastly. This story makes it clear that Donald's part in the sexcapades has cost him dearly. Guys like him are defined by their success at work. Their status. Their pride at closing the deal. By things like the Rolex. The fleet of expensive autos. The huge house. The prestigious job title. The pretty and demure wife on his arm. This all cost him all of that. Sure...guys like him won't lose everything in bankruptcy and divorce. But it cost him plenty. Plenty. And like Sarah and Alice...he's not exactly a welcome face around the country club. How many of his golf buddies or former fraternity brothers who aren't cuckolds are going to welcome him at parties around their wives? And if he ever wants to actually have a normal marriage or relationship ever again? What woman today doesn't Google her dates name? Think he's ever gonna get a good girl to consider him again? Right.

This hurt them and with the internet this story will follow them for a very, very long time.

The only part I could not relate to. Nor could I ever...is the cock cage thing. The first time a woman I'm in a relationship with ever seriously suggests I wear a cock cage because it'll be fun and hot? That's the exact same minute I realize she has lost all respect for me. And know it's time to end the relationship.

No way this MC the way he was written would ever agree to it. My opinion.

But honestly. Excellent read. Excellent first story. The price to read it was right. I was entertained. I did skim a few parts. A good editor will help you in the future. I don't mind long stories per se as long as they capture me with good dialogue and story.

My opinion is don't listen to some of the people here with 10 minute attention spans. Keep writing. Keep posting here. Thanks. I gave it 5 stars.

Good story though a bit of judicious pruning needed to remove telling the same things repeatedly. My only recommendation to the author who is British and whose writing style, dialogue etc are clearly British is to not make the characters American, this could easily have been written with the MCs as being from London avoiding some blatant mistakes. That said solid 4 stars

WELL, I USUALLY DON'T READ STORIES THIS LONG BUT FOR SOME REASON IT KEP MY ATTENTION. BUT UPON REFLECTION THERE'S A LOT NOT TO LIKE ABOUT THIS STORY. 1ST: A MAN GOES ON A RESORT VACATION WITH HIS WIFE IN A CUCK CAGE??? AND 2ND: SHE MANAGES TO FORGET THE KEY??? THE CAGE PART IS RIDICULOUS AND UNNECESSARY. AND THEN WE BASICALLY GO FROM NO SEX AT ALL TO SHE'S IN AN ORGY??? I GAVE IT A 4 BECAUSE IF CINFUSING ELEMENTS OF THE WRITING BUT NOW I THINK I WAS BEING GENEROUS,

Completely not credible. Alice could have taken a marker and written CUCK on his forehead after she put the cock cage on him and he still wouldn’t have had a clue looking in the mirror.

Very good, but 1 glaring issue - your use of the term pounds for money. Everyone in the story is from America, and we use dollars. Pounds is for Great Britain. I wonder what will happen with Alice, and her family. My guess is her parents will regret losing him as a son-in-law and not taking Alice to task months ago. As for Alice herself, either she needs to succeed at committing suicide ( or at least permanently seriously harm herself - only way her dear sister Sarah might regret her actions which led to Alice's fall) or to never have a long term, loving relationship - of course never be a mother, and probably never be happy for the rest of her life. Counseling will only help someone that wants to change, what will happen when she realizes that her actions caused of her troubles, and her guilt overwhelms her? That is why I mention the suicide, she simply won't be able to live with herself.

Well written, I loved it. Follow up?

I would have left as soon as I saw I wasn’t on the same vacation as my wife. And if she supported that type of treatment of me I’d leave her too, whether she was cheating or not. Her line in the story that the trip raised his suspicions was pretty bad; I mean, do you think?

I stopped reading when he threatened to destroy private property. In France, you’re presumed guilty until proven innocent. He would have been put on jail in less time than he threatened to break door the hotel door. And the gendarmes in France arent armed with pistols: they are in battle gear with MP5’s.

If you’re going to spend the time to write 14 chapters, then at least have the common fucking courtesy to write with a semblance of truth.

Interesting story, needed a good edit but a fine effort of getting inside a person and feeling we know him. 4* from me. Keep on writing, you can definitely tell a story, but a good editor can work wonders and you'd end up with a masterpiece.

Wow! I loved it.

Overall,an excellent story with the exception of the cock cage and the ring set up at the resort. The submissive request did not fit the main character. The ring strategy at the resort was not believable.

Good character development.

Another wishy-washy protagonist without backbone - and a bitch that should have been burned.

Well done!

u made the MC too dumb to still be living

And why was there so much talk about his boxing classes, if he didn't even punch Donald in the face? I just gave Ruben one punch in the gut...

Very good. Thanks for the tale.

Lucienne, being from south Texas, would not talk using 'Honey' all the time. If she were from Georgia, yeah it would be more likely.

Please write more.

But warn us so we can start reading earlier; it's waaaaay past my bedtime. Top drawer, sir.

I am not sure about the cock cage, or the rings.

Apart from that this was a very entertaining story, really well written.

Its a 4 to 5* story though. I also would like to hear Alice's side of this, how you would write that I am not sure but it would be nice to read I think.

The only other criticism would be character development, we did not get into the heads of your characters

Great idea for a story though, and nice to see him walk away.

If this is your first story, you have a great future in writing.

5*

I'll be honest, I don't usually read stories on here that are this long, and there were sections that I sort of skimmed over for just the relevant bits. But I couldn't not finish it. I don't care what other people are saying. I thought the story was more or less believable. The character was engaging and relatable. The idea of the resort was probably the most far-fetched, but only in the sense that I can't see many people getting a black ring actually buying into the premise and tolerating the abuse. All in all, it sucked me in and I couldn't leave it unfinished and that deserves five stars. Awesome job.

Other than the wildly improbable business model of the resort (who could bear to be treated worse than the other guests? Humans don’t work that way), the story was great. I was rooting for the two battle-scarred ex married folk to make a go of it. Baby clock is ticking!

I agree with many of the positive comments about this clever story. Like some, I would like to read a follow up from Alice’s perspective - her story, from her and not through the eyes of her husband. It did become a little repetitive in the closing pages and could have been edited down to make it both a little shorter and more direct. That why I gave it a 4. Thank you for your hard work.

3 starrs. Story way too long. Atg the end Husband is an idiot. Espessialy for trustng Luciene

Good story, thanks for sharing it with us. After the casual cruelty and humiliation she subjected him to, it would have been nice if the reader’s could have gotten more evidence that she actually suffered some regrets and remorse. I suppose my desire to see more of her suffering is more a reflection on me, but I really feel the story would have been better if the readers had seen more of the consequences of her cheating.

Good story

I got to page four before I barfed at the stupid plot. And then to top it off, I agreed with Powersworder... what's this world coming to?

very good story especially for a first even if some things / actions are a little disturbing. 5⭐

you have constantly approached the limits:

- carrying a cage

- acceptance and slight submission out of love

- implementation of actions and willingness to make a cuckold

- lack of reaction to the obvious lack of respect

- inflexible will of the husband to be faithful to himself, to his convictions and to his integrity.

- obsession with having photographic evidence when he had audio evidence.

Like a hardened tightrope walker on his wire, you made us go through a multitude of contradictory emotions, without ever falling, without ever being crushed.

You mastered the behavior of the husband brilliantly, making him look at once:

- weak and strong

- submissive and dominant

- stupid and smart

- obedient and rebellious

- gullible and realistic

And in the end, he rises in the face of difficulties, refuses the role of victim or weakling, and takes control of his life.

a very big congratulations.

For a first story, it's a masterstroke.

Thank you for sharing.

dumb, dumber, french exit

A pretty good story, despite the numerous UK/USA issues. Numerous words, expressions and spellings made it very clear the writer was not familiar with the differences. We might know a lot of the differences, but things like providing your weight in "stone" instead of pounds is something most of us here would have to google for a conversion to something relatable.

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Dropping Snoopy into the ending was a bit confusing; I think you meant for it to be a scene switch to where Snoopy and Flash were discussing Lucienne, but there is no break in the conversation to show that. I had to reread the last part in order to decipher that bit.

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A high quality effort, in any case. The resort idea was pretty hard to buy into and the chastity device reveal almost made me stop reading, but I was glad to see that it paid off with him avoiding the usual humiliation route those devices are associated with. While I have offered some criticism, those issues were outweighed by the overall quality of the product. Except the part about the New York Times being respected; that was fucking hilarious and had me thinking this was all a parody, until I realized the author was serious. ;)

Nice story but too long. Too many repetitive chunks.

Half as long and I'd have given you 5*.

This was a very long story with very action. At the end, it is a simple wife cheats and husband divorces, and very little more. It is a shame because the writing was generally good, although not without some minor faults.

Powersworder said it.

Lost it at beginning.

Cage?!

All men I know would laugh and then walk away.

Skipped through hopefully a nuclear BTB.

Another wimpy cuckold

The concern is that the story requires the protagonist to have the IQ of a rock. Once that is established, nothing else really matters. The narrative is meaningless.

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No one would tolerate what the MC put up with. Not without being a masochist. Absolutely no one. The elasticity of credulity was stretched to the breaking point within the first few pages.