All Comments on 'The French Exit'

Well, except we got to read th at he took the SIM card out three times, that he had moves about fifteen times, the marriage was over about ten time, that he needed more proof multiple times, other than that not bad. Of course the cage idiocy was over the top, thos folks will work themselves out of the gene pool on their own. Hard to reconcile the career path the mc had with his iq of 5. Does not fit, and of course the direction we were headed was evident after the second page, but he needed to trust her and he owed her the benefit of doubt…….

Still one of my favs.

Umm aren't there big red flags when the wife whips out the chastity cage? Well written but loooong.

Fuck this was an unnecessarily long story ….

Yes it's long but so what, well written good story and well finished.

Long? Well, most stories could be condensed to, wifeor husband cheats/ husnabd / wife finds out, gets a tad pissed of then; has him/her/ lover murdered, breaks up and never speaks to him/ marries a billionaire with either a huge cock or tight cunt / lives haooliy ever after whilst cheating scum lives in penuary if surviving the revenge at all. .

There you go, all nicely fitted in a few paragraphs, the end.

REALLY?

Well written, thank you

When anyone tries to restrain you with a locked door, they damn sure best be on the OTHER side of the door.

"Remember kids, thumbs and eyeballs go together like peanut butter and jelly. "

Great story! Id love to see a sequel to this. One where Sal can really destroy Alice. Him ignoring her is a punishment, but Id just love to see him really tear into her, Sarah, Reuban, and her parents. And THEN ignore them. Would also like to see Sal's happy ending and future. And disastrous ones for the others.

How illogical and dumb?! Can't a husband get suspicious on first day of the vacation knowing his wife is deliberately spending time apart from him? and the symbols privileged cards for her?! And a cage?? A Man will never ever wait in first time..

Run Sal run, this bitch is no different than your first wife! BTW , no guy as strong as Sal was in the opening would ever agree to a cage or to be jerked around on vacation by his skank slut wife. Best thing he could have done was given her a nice cocktail one evening and then tossed her to the sharks! Although I guess the would constitute abuse to the sharks.

Patrickson

Your story telling is so insightful and deep I love the 3 I have read so far. Character development shows how it meshes with the background. The height of your male M/C and the way he rises to heights of valor and courage is spectacular. Please keep telling great stories.

A bit loooong, a bit of the same old same old, but not a bad story. I gave it a 4, maybe on the generous side of life. There has got to be a few red flags when someone asks you to wear a cock cage for a long period of time.

FAN-TAS-TIC story!!!! Congratulations!!!

5 stars are even not enough!!!

So, the guy wears a cock cage for 6 months, wears it on vacation, and then acts out with the hotel manager? Oooo...tough guy...

You a good writer, man. Dam good.

Sort of enjoyed it but could be summarised to:

Man married woman with previous form for straying

Woman asks man to wear cock cage

Man and woman divorce

Great story with awesome characters. Writing was outstanding. I could feel the emotions. Thanks and keep writing.

Awesome story! Would be interested to see it and/or a sequel from Alice's perspective. I know it's mean but I hope she doesn't have a happy future.

Patrickson, I don't know if you ever saw this, but I wrote up some thoughts on your story six months or so ago.

They're here:

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/on-the-french-exit-by-patrickson.1574518

... Sorry, but, although very good, this story still has problems.

Having Americans constantly using English dialect was very annoying - no New Yorkers I've ever meant ever using terms like 'bloody' as much as the ones in this story... plus a 'million pound' doesn't mean much in the States - it's US dollars or it's nothing. Nothing wrong with having legit limeys in your story... just don't claim them to be Americans. That's all.

That last conversion between Sal and Alice was also annoying - why did the author tried to make his MC convince the wife to stay with him and work on their marriage when HE ALREADY KNEW HER TO BE CHEATING ON HIM? I thought adultery was a deal-breaker for Sal! So why was he trying to do here? Why did he think that his 'conscience was clear' afterwards - HE ALREADY KNEW SHE CHEATED, so why would his conscience be muddy about anything!? And what if Alice decided to NOT go to the orgy after all? Would Sal had stayed with her, STILL ALREADY KNOWING THAT SHE CHEATED??? So dumb... Nothing worst than an author clearly defining his own characters' redline, then just dismissed it for story convience...

Finally, the grammar took a big dive during the final act of this tale, as if the author couldn't wait to be done with his work - although he must have not been in a whole lot of hurry, given the number of repetitions he kept adding to his story... see, that's why writers need editors. Just saying.

Hey, I may sound harsh, but those mistakes, IMHO, turned what could have been a classic into a solid, yet unexceptional work. It sure doesn't take much, but it's really what makes series like "Play It Again, Sam" or "The Shack" memorable.

... This? Yeah, it's fine. 'Could have been more than that, though...

I stopped reading when Sal said he is wearing a cage. Give me a fucking break.

I found the flashbacks confusing. Often there was nothing in the script to indicate the start or end of a flashback.

Having a flashback about him leaving her right smack in the middle of him actually leaving her again was confusing.

A good story. As a Brit it is disappointing to read comments like that of Mighty Horny. If it ain't American it means nothing? Give me a break. Other cultures exist outside of the USA . We have to live with US tv shows and movies, try reciprocating. For a big country the USA is very parochial. Rant over.

This is a great story, I loved it beginning to end.

Thank you for sharing

It was a very interesting story, enjoyed the structure and the way it all played out. However, I would have liked a bit more info on the aftermath, and it might have been good to continue with his marriage to Luci and children before the inevitable surprise meeting with his now hollow ex wife, so we can see that she truly understand what she had lost.

It's a shame that the big dick Vs the overly small guy trope was used.. but worst of all is that the real viper in the nest escaped unharmed. The drip drip drip of poison spewed into Ali's ear by her worthless whore of a sister was the real disease vector. His wife was just weak and Donny boy was just arrogant, it was the sister that undermined the marriage because she wanted to drag down everyone into the cesspit that is her life.

Probably the stupidest premise for a story I’ve had the displeasure of reading on this site. How on earth can you believe that any normal human, male or female would put up with that level of disrespect.

I loved this! Thank you! Would love a part 2 to see things from Alice's perspective and what happened to her and everyone later on.

I loved the story! Thank you and keep writing.

Having re-read this story, I suppose that it is well written in a grammatical sence, but the actual premise on which the story is based is basically flawed.

What self respecting man would a). Allow himself to be put into a chastity cage unless it was some kind of sex play between consenting adults. b). Continue to accept the different levels of service and access afforded by the coloured keys.

Totally implausible, he is supposedly an intelligent man working for a prestigious newspaper, the way he acts is like some dumb idiot with no sense or power of thought.

I've read this story several times. I keep coming back to it. I wanted to thank you for it.

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I appreciate the developed characters, and in a couple of cases, their evolution.

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The story had excellent flow, and I didn't skim it, I read it.

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Be well!

The most unrealistic part perhaps is to have a NYT journalist still believe in the institution of marriage ...

Ugh, another author that ascribes to the faux self respect inner cuck diabtribe.

You're a fucking joke. So many pages going in depth about betrayal and when it comes to justice you barely talk about it.

You got your rocks off of him being humiliated, you quite possibly wrote the story in between fluffing your wifes holes.

Go away you fluffing cuck.

Extremely well written story.

The plot was very good.

The author knew what he talking about especially when it came to the "boxing background".

It wasn't over the top.

Some points of wisdom from the characters.

They are miniscule points in this story that are absolutely garbage and contradictory.

Number one being in chastity cage.

The man is a boxer. He can hold his own. He works for the times . You mean to tell me he doesn't know what it represents. Ridiculous.

This story could've been generally well received if some points were revised.

It's evident there was alot of effort put to this story.

I don’t usually bother with rereading, or even reading LW novel sized stories, but I’ve read this one twice. It’s great, but could be condensed a little and not affect the story.

After a second reading, this one is about a third too long. Far too many details about the photography. Also, Snoopy and Lucienne were interchanged a couple of times. Are they the same person? 3 stars for your effort though.

Re-read this. Still love it! Would just like to see a version from Alice's perspective. As well as what happened with everyone further down the line. Really hoping Sal had a great future! Thank you! :)

I like this story even though the plot is kind of unbelievable.

I wouldn't have stayed as long as he did and there would have been a confrontation as soon as I saw her disrespectful behavior.

Intriguing story, but the ending was far too abrupt. And a bit confusing to this simple soul.

The story is interesting, the plot full of holes, in particular legal ones (deprivation of liberty anyone?). Needs a proofreader, try discreet instead of discrete, for instance. Didn't in any way understand the last remark from Snoopy - where did she come from?

Oh my god that was long - too long. Really needs editing. Good plot. 4 Stars.

With a good edit, rewrite, and tightening up of the plot holes, this story moves up as a terrific, top-tier tale. 4/5 as written.

I liked the longer story, something to get my teeth into.

Just Amazing! I mostly pass on the longer stories, but I'm so glad I took the time. Time well spent.

Ridiculously unbelievable scenario and too long by far, albeit technically OK. 2 stars for me.

I happen to like long stories as good tales take time to tell as long as it's not repeatious going over the same things/dialog in different ways. This was not. Only fault I did find and did not like was that he was an intelligent man and a photographer/investigative reporter yet he did not recognise the red flags starting with the cage. Even when clued in he did not put it together or refused to accept the truth that was already in the back of his mind and react by getting the proof he felt to needed right away but dragged it out for needless days before before doing so. Good story...4 stars..JZK

This story had a good plot but the telling of it was all over the place. Going backwards and forwards in time was a hindrance and so was the ending being told in a 3rd party type fashion. From what the author talks about photograph seems he is not fully aware of what it actually means to be one. The camera bag is a vitally important bit of kit as the camera body and lenses but that is not portrayed as such and of their uses, as being used. Also the picture he had mounted to give to Lucienne, was a digital image, all he had to do was to reprint it. Thus saying it was a one off, as such, is ridiculous. If you do not know a subject keep things general. As said the last part should have been in the 1st party, to use a term it was a blurry read for me. Lastly, if my wife was acting up as she was, I would have told her to bog off or I'd have gone home. Yes he did get the pictures of her at the orgy but it was a hard time getting there. Further, if his wife read what was in the news paper when they landed she would have know she was busted then and not later. She would have also been needed to taken to the hospital at that point.

Keep the time line in one direction. I think I will copy the story to my hard drive and chop it up so it reads that way. It will be far easier to keep track of what is going on. That or just cut the crap out and make it shorter to read. 2 stars for the plot.

The best stories on LIT rise to the challenge of literature--to create a story that engages the reader enough to suspend their disbelief. They may follow the characters' interior life or they may follow the stream of events from multiple perspectives in a bird's-eye view. They may travel in a single arc or they may move through multiple frames. This is a very fine literary story. Perfect, no, perfection is not possible. (Personally, I would have liked the ending to be a bit more explicit, but I can use my imagination, and as the man says, use your imagination or someone will use it for you.)

I understand that name-bombing technical terminology (like, for example, f-stops, lens lengths, potassium dichromate alt-pro developing, SSD brand names, and the kind of tripod he would have used) is one of the tropes that writers here use to establish expertise. For DTIverson or Todd172 or soldierboy50401, that is important. The level of detail here is perfectly acceptable; more is just not germane. This story is not about photography; it is about integrity and resourcefulness.

So far, Patrick, this is your break-out story. In my reading here, it seems like every serious writer has one story head and shoulders above the rest of their work to date. (Look at Hooked1957, When One Door Closes... for example.) (So keep writing and keep the interior monologue in check, as you do here. )

(I am a professional reader and anonymous for professional reasons.

--88Mike

I liked it, but a final conversation with Alice was lacking. I wanted that.

A good story, overall, in my opinion. Technically, there were places where I had difficulty following the POV as it jumped from one speaker to another. That was especially true, and most negatively impactful, at the story's conclusion...

An OK story - just way too long

Story is about 10 pages to long. Sal was a huge fucking wimp in this story.

a bit long but worthy of a 42 minutes tV program

Very good read.

Also, I can't help it and I'm throwing it and MUST say it............

if you don't know the difference between to vs too or maybe they're - there - their or the like.....maybe just MAYBE you shouldn't be criticizing other people writing. Food for thought.

Loved it.

Sal put up with way too much right at the beginning making the story hard to believe in. But I still enjoyed it.

2nd read, enjoyed it as much as the 1st. A few holes, some slogging through unnecessary backstory (IMO) but still worthy of a read.

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Many object to the cock cage and has horrible as the idea is, its represents his total trust in Alice, which is necessary for the plot, and its removal is a symbol of his freedom from a cheating wife. The former moment could have been emphasized more.

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Hard to believe anyone would tolerate black ring treatment for two whole weeks, especially isolation from their spouse, without easing in to it (boiling the frog.) If the rings were all the same color, staff could come up with innumerable excuses as they gradually tighten access over the course of a week (two weeks is too long. )

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Thanks for sharing.

One of the best stories I read on this site.

Great story. But i don't understand the last two lines of text.

Wonderful story. The only issue was Sal's rehashing of the same story. Some exposition would have kept the story moving. Lastly, Sal needed to kick Donald's and Rube's asses. Why repeatedly remind us of Sal's boxing prowess without seeing it in action? Still, a 5 * story.

Okay, the three rings bit was silly, but they do have different levels of what you get at some all inclusive holiday hotels so I have to give you that, I guess the characters were believable by the fact you didn’t overdo any of them, the plot was pretty good, for me it’s a pity that you didn’t write more sex into it.

Riveting story that kept my attention despite the excessive length.

My one issue is all the British euphemisms that popped in when this was a New Yorker. based story

I'd have almost *liked* to hear some of the interaction between Alice and her parents after the fact.

At the very least get some idea of what the fuck her parents were THINKING1

Nothing Alice was doing implies she intended to stop cheating so why would she have told her parents (who are aware of it) that she would? And why would *they* let her go on thinking she could *keep* getting away with it, especially if they knew what she was planning on doing on her vacation.

Excellent

10 stars and better, thank you so much for the excellent story

Alice's entire family were a bunch of entitl, spoiled assholes. No concern for another persons feelings, even someone the claim to love, the proof of that is that BOTH daughters were of the cheating "it what I want, suck it up" sort.

The story is way too long for no reason. It can be shortened by at least 10 pages without affecting it. It was necessary to see what happened to the wife. What Lucienne told him was just a small part of what happened. The wife had to tell what happened after her return and her discovery of the pictures

Was the wife dumb to do all these things during the vacation and not expect her husband to suspect her and expose her?

The story is completely naive and the husband is weak.

The writer did not show what happened to the wife, her sister, her sister's husband, and her lover. What he narrated of events does not show any consequences that harmed the lover or the wife's sister.

The devil in this story is the wife's sister and the lover, and the writer must show the severe consequences that happened to them.

The story is full of repetitive words and can be easily shortened, and the writer oscillates between the past and the present unnecessarily. I think the writer needs to reconsider his storytelling.

Интересный рассказ! Хотя идея с курортом крайне странная. По-моему даже полный идиот, если он не мазохист или куколд, сразу догадается что все это очень странно. Тут даже задумываться про измену не надо!) Я понял бы жену, если бы муж был куколдом, как я писал выше, тогда это идеальный курорт, а так... Именно это делает историю очень слабой, но все остальное очень хорошо! Хотя мести можно было бы и больше!

Well, this could have been a really good story but in a couple words, it is way too long, to repetitive to much thinking too little action and the husband submitting to a cock cage? A bit too much I can't see any man doing that and I'm no macho man either. There are things a married woman just should not do and our MC's wife pretty much broke all of the rules but that was part of the story. The the ending was the beginning explaining how their relationship began. Like I said as others have said, way too long. I also think it would been better if he had left the island as soon as the black, pink and gold rings were explained, sneak out the back jack. end of marriage. I caught my first wife coming out of a bar with some guy and that was pretty much the end of that marriage. Divorce. lost two daughters, couldn't hold a job for two years, met a good woman with four kids, married her and it lasted almost 40 years before she passed. To the girls I lost I'm the bad guy and don't even know why, I never cheated? 4 stars and giving credit for your efforts, thank you. Take some of the suggestions and maybe get an editor.

5 stars but I would have like to have a real time report of Alice doming home. And see Sarah, Donald, and Reuben get a little more payback

In my long experience, no man worth his salt would allow his wife to treat him like was described in the first couple of pages. Once the cage was refered to the story was improbable unless you are writing about a pervert, so why include it. All the other unlikely things was enough but a reader could live with it up till then, in order to build up the evil for a good revenge but the cage, nahhhhh.

Your stories have a real element of fantasy to them, which I don't mind because the story telling itself is generally very good. I think you had a problem with Sal early on in the story because he seemed really disjointed between his attitude and actions some times... and more than a little dense once he started hashing it out with his wife. I think that maybe this could have been softened a bit if there had been more time explicitly devoted to demonstrating he had a real inner conflict about what he suspected was true and what he wanted to be true, or if the clues hadn't started out quite so obvious... and I mean, it was OBVIOUS, so obvious that I had to really suspend disbelief there for a bit in the beginning and it kind of impugned Sal's character a bit.

I think I would have liked a bit more pay back , more detail of what happened to the others at the hotel and the response from the hotel on the revelations in the press

I’m what Red calls “ dumbass”.

I Could get past wusss cageing.

Love slap-hapy-papy #9

I don't know if the story gets better or not, because the MC is so blatantly painfully fucking stupid it's unreadable.

Once the Islanders clue him in and he's STILL arguing snd you drag it on it's essentially nothing but word vomit.

He deserves to be a chaste cuck simply so he never reproduces, and this "story" points to you giving up on writing.

To have the moves he's blind as a bat when it comes to seeing the writing on the wall.

And the endind. WHAT???

Could not finish the first page. Simply lacked any draw to it.

If a guy allows himself to be talked into a chastity belt, screw him err or never getting screwed, as a rule. This guy though had an attitude most could relate to though that black ring would have sent me home the day i arrived his curiosity i could completely understand

That was a great story, some parts i i hoped for. I thought him bringing bolt cutters out the first day of the 3 days of luxury would have worked, start a black ring rebellion. Keep the gold orifices busy. Lucky he was a photographer not a Marine or a tunnel rat, retired. This one could be like a few that gets retold 100 times and i will be tracking them down i have feb s versions for yrs

This was one of the stupidest stories I've ever read. He deserved begin treated like shit. What a fucking idiot.

Thought provoking story. I enjoyed the flow of the story and introduction of information about the various characters. The author left plenty of room for imagination.

I would love to see a story about what the four protagonists were thinking as Sal was going through the nightmare they created. How did their story start. How did it carry through to the bitter end. How did they turn Alice, or did they? A second story line would be what happens a decade later when the parties meet up at some event.

Nice story Patrickson. Very well written.

Awesome story, great characters, an interesting play on infidelity, and what people can fall prey to when they are deeply committed to their partners. The cliché: Love is blind is never more true.

The story flowed,the feels were good.

But I mean he was talked into a cockcage and still didn't take it off for a while after he caught her and knew what she was doing.

As for her I mean going along with her lover to turn him into a chastity cuckold.

I mean the other parts of his character build didn't add up to a cockcage guy.

He was even stupid to start a life with his wife because she had already cheated on him and dumped him.

You would think that would warn him when the cockcage came up.

In my opinion, the person who should have received the biggest crippling blow was the despicable sister-in-law. She was the puppet master, the one who controlled everybody and who orchestrated all that shit. Yet, she gets off without a scratch. But overall, this is an excellent story, that definitely tickles the sensitive spots! 5 stars. Many thanks!

I think it must be a sexual fetish of some commenters to read typists astray by calling something like this well written. They must be getting their kicks out of trolling someone into following HowToBasic instructions in earnest.

I'd love to see a sequel from Alice's perspective. One touching on her thoughts before, during, and after their ill-fated vacation. As well as what became of her. I understand being selfish and wanting sexual control in a relationship. But for a woman who did NOT want to be divorced, I don't understand her actions. Particularly, in the last conversation she had with Sal. Once she knew that he knew she had told others of his being in chastity and saw he was humiliated, How could she STILL go off to that orgy? It's wild. I honestly don't get it.

I'd also like to learn more about her parents. They apparently loved Sal as a son, but also allowed her to flaunt her affair around them? I understand not saying anything for fear he'd divorce her. But allowing it to continue?! No.

Finally, I never understood why Sal didn't sue the resort. I mean it was a part of their business model to lie to a significant number of their guests. Willing cuckolds is one thing, but being at a resort where the staff's job is to literally lie to you seems outrageous to me.

Anyway, would love if you'd please consider a sequel or companion piece to this story. Thanks in advance if so!

Just read the story again and still loved it.

Including a 'cock cage' in this ridiculous story guaranteed you would get a one-star rating.

Thankfully, you have only submitted 7 stories and never another one like this crap story, unless you like getting one-star ratings.

This is probably my third or fourth time reading it--and it's still an amazing story. The degree to which Sal was humiliated by his wife stretches the reader's credibility to the limit (if not beyond), but the story is nonetheless incredibly powerful and effective.

Thanks, ohio