All Comments on 'The Frisk'

It was an interesting story, but that aside a few blaring problems:

1. Quotation marks. Sometimes you used them, sometimes you didn't. Make a decision, I'd advise using them because without them your story is a bit harder to follow.

2. Tense change. You refer to her as "her", but then you switch to "you" as if you're talking to her.

Lol, correcting myself.