The Girl with The Pink Bat

"I just want to be left alone."

He walked into my place and I followed him.

"You have no idea the kind of pain I felt. You've no idea what it's like to lay in your bed night after night wondering how I could be so stupid."

I gulped and took a step towards him. "You're right, I don't. I want to help you, Ray."

"I can't stop thinking about all the men she was with... All the things she did with them," Ray dropped his gaze. "I feel so humiliated... Men I called friends had been fucking her and laughing at me behind my back. How could Amy do that to me? How could she rip the heart out of my chest and not care? She made a fool out of me! I truly thought she loved me, almost as much as I loved her! I was a blind idiot!"

There was agony on Ray's face. Drops of water were falling from his hair.

"Ray, no..." My heart ached for my friend whose confidence and emotions had been shredded.

He headed to the guest room. I took off my soaked sweater and followed him.

"I can't leave you like this. I can't let you wallow in your misery."

He whirled toward me so quickly that I jerked an intimidated step back. From between clenched teeth, he hissed, "I'll live my life however I damn well please."

When I sucked in a breath, he blinked like he'd just realized I was cowering. Letting out a low growl, he reeled away and raked a shaky hand through his hair.

"Why can't everyone just leave me alone?" he whispered.

I could tell his control was splintering. I fully believed it'd be healthy for him to lose it. For once in his life, he needed to let out some of the pressure. He needed to alleviate the pain that had been brewing inside him since the moment his fiancée cheated on him.

"It's probably because you bring it on yourself," I said, trying a new approach. I was aware it could go wrong, but I had tried it with my sister when she started feeling sorry for herself.

He glanced at me. "Excuse me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come off it, Ray. If you really want everyone to stop people feeling so sorry for you and treating you like some kind of wounded animal, then you should stop acting like one."

Shock filtered across his cheekbones with a red tinge. His mouth fell open. "What? I do not—"

His gaze landed on my wet shirt clinging to my breasts, and the words died in his throat.

I looked down and realized I wasn't wearing a bra.

Looking taken aback by the fact I was nipping, he gaped at me with slack-jawed shock. On pure impulse, I pulled my shoulders back a fraction, pushing my chest forward. For the briefest of moments, his lashes lowered, and he sucked in a quiet breath through his teeth. Then he tore his eyes away, muttering a curse.

I'd just gotten an emotional response from him. Ray had looked at me with sexual awareness. Thinking this might be good for him, I planned my next move.

"I do not ask for anyone's sympathy. The last thing in the world I want is for everyone to treat me like some kind of—"

Ignoring his tirade, I rose onto my toes and stamped my mouth against his, moving so fast, that I gave him no time to back off or evade me before our lips were firmly sealed together.

I pressed closer until the front of my soaked shirt clung to his. Then, lifting my hand, I touched the side of his neck.

Ray buried his hands deep in my hair and he took control of the situation. His mouth moved against mine, bruising and savage. When I opened for him, he plunged his tongue deep, letting out an agonized, hungry sound.

He grew hard against my stomach. I whimpered, envisioning the heated length of him buried deep inside me.

"Ray," I moaned. But his breathless name on my lips must've alerted him to reality because he yanked away.

We were both panting.

He couldn't meet my gaze. So I said, "Your thingy felt just fine a moment ago."

He didn't answer.

"You're still alive, Ray. You have to accept that."

His ragged breathing intensified, and his eyes dilated as they focused on my pouting nipples pushing against wet cloth.

The insides of my thighs grew damp and heavy between my legs.

Stepping toward him, I gently slid my hand around the back of his neck. He was taller than me and certainly stronger. If he wanted to escape, he could.

But he merely watched me warily as I drew his head down.

He closed his eyes and lowered his face to receive me. I eased my lips back to his.

This kiss was soft and loving. Thinking my point was proven, I moved back, giving him mercy. But his lips followed mine. My skin buzzed with awareness, and an almost painful tightening began in the bottom of my stomach. He cupped my face and drew me back, opening his mouth and demanding more.

I groaned and sank against him, deepening the contact. Feeling primal, I pushed my tongue into his mouth.

Ray pulled me closer and devoured me. His hands cupped my breasts and I shivered.

"Damn you, Kara," he managed to hiss against my mouth, only to use his tongue to invade and his hips to grind hard against mines.

He freed one nipple and rolled it between his thumb and index finger, making me moan.

Ray undid the top button of my damp jeans. I kicked off my boots and reached for his belt buckle.

I barely unzipped his trousers in the time it took him to shed my jeans and underwear in one mighty tug.

I dove my hands into the waistband of his underwear and cupped his ass before slipping them and his jeans down. As soon as they dropped to free his hard penis, he pushed me into bed, spread my knees, and buried himself deep, plunging all the way to my core.

"Oh, yes!" I cried.

We were doing it. Of all the times I'd dreamed of being with Ray, I'd never imagined this scene.

He rode me with deep, confident thrusts, only to pull nearly all the way out before surging back in. I clung to him, clawing his back, and fought to keep from coming too soon.

He didn't slow his pace -not that I wanted him to. He surged back, harder and faster, pushing us both to the brink.

The pace slowed to a drowsy tempo, neither rushing as we learned the contours and curves of our partner.

There was no humping or screwing or any kind of degrading term like that with Ray. Once he was in control of himself, he was all about gentle and soft. It was so damn precious I that mimicked his kindness, touching him tenderly, rubbing my fingers up his arms and over his elbows, investigating places I'd never gone on a man, simple places like his wrists and earlobes, but places that suddenly seemed incredibly sensual.

"This is how it feels to make love," I thought.

"Can I...?" he started to ask and then hesitated.

"Yes," I answered with no pause whatsoever.

Yes, he could do anything he wanted to me.

He lifted my leg, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and sunk himself inside me with an achingly slow plunge that had me gasping and bowing against him.

Slipping my hands ever-so softly over his back and gracefully lifting my hips to meet his thrusts.

His pace filled me with agonizing frustration. It didn't take long for me to crave the speed again. But he took his ever-loving time, like he relished discovering each inch of me with his mouth and hands, like each instance he moved within me, he needed to savor the feeling with concentrated deliberation.

I squeezed him tightly with my thighs, digging my heels into his ass and holding him deeper, urging him on and trying to coax him into cooperating and going faster.

"Hurry," I rasped.

He looked down at me with sweat beading his brow and his lips tight with focus. "I want it slow," was his steady command.

I was going to go insane if he didn't hurry. "I can't."

"You will," he said, and, damn it, I did.

I came slowly, feeling it methodically work its way up my toes and the insides of my thighs until it hit my G-spot. Then I came, and came, and came... and came.

Ray gasped and tensed. Picking up his pace and pounding into me, he released himself, joining my orgasm.

"Gosh," Ray growled, and bucked one last time, grabbing me hard as he joined the fireworks. "WOW!"

The silence that followed was deafening. I didn't think I was ever going to stop shuddering from the aftershocks, not even when he collapsed heavily on top of me, his limp deadweight making me wonder if he'd physically passed out.

We held each other close, like a pair of frightened children huddling in the dark and worrying about the scary monster coming for them.

And, damn, I did feel terrified out of my mind. Reality could be one mean bogeyman.

Well. I'd done it.

I closed my eyes and set a hand over my heart.

What was going to result from my wild, unplanned seduction?

I wouldn't blame him if he hated me. I had forced him, pushed him beyond his control. I felt terrible.

"Ray?" I whispered. "I'm sorry."

I put my arms around him and laid my cheek against his chest.

My voice broke. "I'm so sorry."

Ray didn't say anything. His chest was rhythmically moving up and down.

I wished I could read his mind.

I hurried to my room, stepped into the shower, turned on the water, and cleaned myself quickly.

Once I'd rinsed myself clean, I hurried out of the tub and slung a towel around my body.

I walked to the guest room and tried the doorknob, but it was locked.

Then, unable to help it, I burst into tears.

I was not Red Riding Hood; I was the Big Bad Wolf. And I might have ruined my friendship with Ray.

CHAPTER 6

The next morning, I woke up early. The memory of what had happened last night was still fresh in my mind.

I couldn't help but wish that I'd been more sensible the night before, instead of allowing my feelings, and a bit too much alcohol, to get the better of me.

It was a bright, sunny day. I dressed up and went straight to the kitchen. Unexpectedly, Ray was already there.

My hair was up in a ponytail. I was wearing a black tank top with blue jeans. It definitely didn't scream, 'Come and get me', but when I glanced up and saw Ray watching me, I felt as if I was wearing the slinkiest, hottest piece of lingerie on the planet. He wanted me. It was spelled out in his clear blue eyes, as his gaze slowly traveled down my body and meandered its way back up again.

He was staring at me like he wanted me for breakfast.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep it cool, though questions stirred inside me.

Did that hungry look mean he'd forgiven me? Was he mad at me? Could I hope things were okay between us?

When our gazes met, I could see the tired yet wary lines around his eyes and mouth.

"Coffee?" he asked.

I nodded in reply.

"I made eggs, bacon, and toast."

"Sounds great. Thank you. Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. You?" He was trying to act as if nothing happened last night. But I could tell something wasn't right.

"I'm fine, too," I lied. I finished my coffee in one gulp. Then, I fished in my purse and got out my car keys.

"I have to go to work. I won't be back until the evening. Make yourself feel at home."

"Thank you," Ray just said.

The best thing I could do for him was leave him alone. I pivoted and strode away, still feeling crappy

We were definitely going to talk later.

+++

It only took me half an hour to show up at the construction site. Middletown was growing and my boss construction company had a lot of work building and renovating properties. I arrived earlier than usual. My job usually involved making budgets, dealing with suppliers, checking materials delivery, paying salaries, going to the local council to get permission to execute the plans, and so on.

Paul Olson pulled his truck alongside my car, his forearm hanging out the opened window. He was the one charged with the responsibility of supervising the crew of workers when Percy was busy with another worksite. He wasn't around a lot lately, because he expanding his business to other towns.

"Morning, Kara," Paul said solemnly, as he cut the engine and exited the truck. "I heard you have a guest."

I rolled my eyes.

"My friend from high school, Ray Clarke, is staying with me," I said. He probably knew anyway. "He's going to stay for a few months."

Paul came closer to me, lowered his voice, "People are talking, you know?"

"I'd be surprised if they didn't."

We both laughed at that.

"Just be careful, Kara, okay?"

I sighed. "Look, Paul, Ray is one of my best friends. You must remember him; we were always together in high school. He is not going to try anything with me."

"It was the other way around," I thought. I felt a pang of guilt.

"That's not what I'm worried about. I know you can take care of yourself," Paul said.

"Then what are you worried about?"

"People talk. Even the guys were making jokes about you and Ray."

I squinted my eyes.

"Don't worry. I put them in their places. I don't want you to be labeled as something you are not."

Paul was a good man. Fatherly type. He had two daughters, Sabrina and Maggie, the same as my father.

"There's not much I can do if people start telling tales about me, is there? I learned the hard way that no one can escape the assumptions people make about us."

Paul nodded slowly. He twisted his mouth, and admitted, "I suppose not."

"Ray is a great guy, and he's going through a difficult time. People can say all kinds of things about me. I don't care because talking never hurt me. I don't give a damn what the world says about me, but I won't turn my back on a friend."

"You're a great girl, Kara. I hope Ray appreciates what you're doing for him."

"He did the same for me a thousand times in the past."

"Okay. Now, let's get to work."

+++

That evening when I came home, Ray had already made dinner.

He acted as if nothing had happened. He was trying the whole evade-and-ignore remedy. So I did the identical thing back to him.

We had dinner and made small talk dancing around the elephant in the room.

Finally, once the dishes were clean, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Ray, we need to talk about what happened last night. We can't go pretending it didn't happen."

Ray sighed, "Okay, you're right. Can I go first?"

"Sure."

He sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter, and I did the same.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts, looked at me with a pained expression on his face, and said, "Kara, what happened last night was entirely my fault. I'm in a bad place, my ego has taken a beating and you helped me to feel better about myself. You made me realize I was still desirable. Still sexual."

I looked at him, puzzled.

"The funny thing is," he confessed, "I didn't feel guilty. Not during, anyway."

Ray shook his head and lowered his gaze, ashamed. "The guilt came afterward. I feel bad because you were trying to make me feel better and I acted like a—"

I placed a hand on his forearm. "Ray, I was the one who initiated it. I kissed you."

"Yes, but then I practically attacked you. I wasn't thinking at all. And that's not me. You know that's not me," Ray told me apologetically. "As soon as you touched me, my mind just shut down. I lost control of myself like I'd never lost control before. I just... I had to have you."

He cradled his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. I ruined everything. Please, don't be mad at me, it won't happen again."

"Mad at you? Are you kidding me?" I cried. "Ray, last night was..." I shook my head. "It was mind-blowing."

I made a gesture with my hands, as if my head had exploded.

Ray smiled slightly, not convinced.

"I could have said no, and I didn't, Ray. I was a willing participant and I enjoyed it as much as you did."

He was quiet for a moment. Then he asked me, "Why didn't you stop me?"

I decided to be honest.

"Because when we were in high school, I was in love with you."

He raised his head and looked at me in surprise.

"Really? Wow! I never knew anything."

"My feelings for you grew up slowly and gradually. I don't think I realized how much I loved you until it was too late. I was ready to confess my love for you when your family left town."

"I see." His eyes were now sparkling. "So last night wasn't a pity fuck?"

"What? No! Trust me, it was a lot of things, but it was NOT a pity fuck. I never wanted anything more in my life. I was planning to have sex with you after the prom, you know? You were going to be my first," I confessed to him, and I didn't hold anything back when I said it.

"Yeah right," Ray snorted, and tried to turn away.

I grabbed his shoulder and made him face me. "It's true. I meant what I said. I didn't pity you in bed. We made love because I wanted to. I must say it was the best sex I ever had. I never felt so loved, so connected with someone."

Ray stared at me, studying my face. "You are serious."

"Of course, I am, you big doofus! I would never make a joke about something like this. Last night was out of this world."

Ray shifted his weight and cleared his throat. "So you're not mad at me, and you're not planning to smash my head with your bat."

I laughed, "No, and of course not!"

"Okay, then the question is where do we go from here, Kara?"

"I was thinking the same thing. To be honest, I have no idea," I said, showing Ray my palms.

Ray cleared his throat and said, "I have been thinking about this all day. So, let me go first: I don't want you to be a rebound. It's not fair for you. You are very important to me and deserve better than that. I broke up with Amy just a few months ago. I'm still broken inside and it's too soon for me to jump into a relationship again."

He gulped and continued, "I don't know how to deal with this right now," he touched his heart. "I'm an emotional mess. I guess what I'm trying to say is part of me wants a relationship with you, but another part of me is afraid of getting hurt again. I am still raw. I think it would be better if we take a step back and start over. Am I making sense?"

I blinked, trying to comprehend everything he'd just said, "You are," I finally said. "Are sure this is what you want?"

"I do. We are not the same people we were in high school, Kara."

"If you ask my mother she'll tell you I never grew up," I said, with a smile.

Ray gave me a shy smile.

"I like you a lot, Kara, but love scares me, right now. You know how the saying goes 'Once burned twice shy'. I need to put the pieces of my life back together first. One day, I had a great job and I was engaged to a girl I thought loved me, and the next day, I was single, jobless, alone in my world, and grieving hard. I've got to heal my soul and my heart. I hope you understand that."

I wish that bitch was here so I could smash my bat against her head.

"I do understand, Ray. I'm okay with taking a step back. We'll go as slow as you want. Just as long as you know that I'm not a woman to toy with your affections. We can get to know each other again."

"I'd like that, Kara. Just for the record, I don't regret what happened between us, even when it was a bit crazy."

"Maybe a little bit," I admitted. "I have no regrets, either."

"I feel better than I have felt in a long time, and I have to thank you for that," Ray said, giving me a shy smile. "However, I need to focus on my own life right now and not let my emotions distract me. I need to put my energy there."

"Ray, you do whatever is best for you. Don't worry. I'll be here for you whenever you need me," I said, doing my best to hide my disappointment. It seemed like it was never the right time for us.

+++

This was uncharted territory for me. I needed some piece of advice about what to do. So the next day, after work, I went to see my sister Jenny.

She was happy to see me as she always seems to be when I come to visit.

"I need your help, sis," I blurted out.

Jenny gave me the one-eyebrow raise and then rolled inside.

"Come on in, Kara, what's wrong? Does it have anything to do with Ray?"