The Girl with The Pink Bat

Damn, if thinking about it all couldn't clench me up inside. I needed courage, more courage than I had ever needed before, because there was only one way to tell him something like this.

Face to face.

CHAPTER 10

The sun began to dip in the sky when I got home.

Ray was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with his hands wrapped tightly around an untouched cup of coffee in front of him. Something was wrong.

"Hello, Kara, sit down, please we need to talk," he said. He sounded serious. I began to panic. My stomach tightened with unspeakable dread. I took a deep breath because the last thing I wanted was to throw up in my kitchen.

I sat down in front of him. My heart was hammering in my chest.

"I came back to town early today. I went to the grocery store because I wanted to cook dinner for you."

I gulped and gave him a brief nod, inviting him to go on.

"Then, I overheard two women outside the store, gossiping. You know, I'm not the type to listen in on rumors. But when I heard your name I paid attention."

"My name?" My eyes widened.

"Yep. One woman said to the other, shaking her head in dismay. 'I still don't know whether or not to believe it, though'.

"The first woman chuckled. 'Well, we'll know soon enough when her belly starts growing or not'.

"Then the second woman added, 'I just want to know who supposedly knocked her up. I didn't know she was seeing anyone'."

I was pretty sure my face drained in color. I gulped and kept listening.

"The first woman went on. 'What? You didn't hear about what happened at the bar last week with Floyd Leland?'

"The second woman said, 'I heard something about the two of them gone skinny dipping'.

"Then, both women grinned at each other with a knowing smile."

"Shit," was all I could say. The rumor mill was fast at work.

"Shit is right," Ray said, "So, Kara, is the gossip around town true? Are you pregnant?"

"Oh my God, I can't believe this," I said. There were more pressing questions in my mind. "How could anyone know? I just found out myself today. There's no way Dr. Carroll would start a rumor—"

Then, reality intruded, and I gasped. "Tania... That bitch! I ought to get her fired for breaking doctor-patient privilege."

"You'd have to prove it was she who spread the news," Ray commented.

"I... I was coming here to tell you. I definitely wasn't going to tell anyone else until you knew. I just wasn't sure how to break the news to you," I said quietly, going back to Ray's first questions.

"So, the baby is mine?"

"Of course it's yours! What kind of girl do you think I am!"

Ray looked at me for a long while but said nothing.

I knew what he was thinking, "The kind who goes skinny dipping with a horny moron like Floyd Leland." But he was too chivalrous to say something like that.

"I guess we'll need to get married," he announced. "We created a little human and you're going to bring our child into the world. I'll be there, by your side, through the whole thing. I promise you."

"What?" I yelped. "Oh, no. We are not getting married. Not over this."

"Why not?" Ray sighed. "Kara, there's a child to consider."

"So?" I retorted, "Single parents raise kids all the time. It's not a big deal."

"Well, I want my child to have two parents," he said slowly, holding back his impatience. "Living in one house."

"I'm not getting married to you because I'm pregnant. This isn't the fifties anymore."

Ray opened his mouth, but I held out a hand to stop him. "Let me finish. How do we know it's going to last? I want my child to have a stable loving family, not one that was forced to be together. "

"Will you just be reasonable, Kara?"

"Reasonable?" I shouted. "You're the one losing it. Do you know how disastrous it would be for us to get married? God, Ray. Do I look like June Cleaver to you? A relationship without love is not going to work."

"We're getting married, Kara," Ray repeated, with complete assuredness in his voice.

"It's the stupidest thing in the world to get married just because of a child. What if I miscarry? Suddenly there's no baby, and we're still married. If you want to be involved in this kid's life, we'll work out some custody issues. You can have as much daddy time as you want. But that's it."

Ray was shaking his head, so I asked him. "What about love?"

He sent me a sharp look. "What about it?"

"We don't love each other," I blurted out desperately.

I looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please, Ray, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that you love me."

Ray looked back at me, but said nothing, so I went on, "How can you expect a marriage to last if the people getting hitched don't even love each other? It's hard enough when they do."

"Love doesn't mean forever," he said quietly, "I'd just as soon not be in love in my next relationship."

"Gee, thanks! How flattering," my voice was full of sarcasm.

Ray's expression was one of pure pain.

Watching him, I got what he was saying. He had suffered so deeply that he didn't want to ever love again.

"I didn't mean—" he started.

"I know what you meant," I said, in a soft voice.

"No," he said. "You don't know. You don't know at all. Love hurts. I can't... I won't ever let any other woman... Don't you see? If I left myself open, someone else could leave me, cheat on me, or whatever, and there'd be one more huge, gaping hole split open right through the middle of me. So I'm just going to pass on the whole love thing from now on because I could certainly do without that kind of heartbreak for the rest of my life."

"Don't use what happened to you to win an argument. You're making me feel like I kicked a sick dog. So cut it out. I'm not going to back down," I said, scowling at him to hide the guilt of letting my own emotions take over when this was really about him and his misery.

"I'm not wrong," he insisted.

"You are, but the point is we're not getting married, end of story. Will you wake up and face the new millennium?"

"I don't care if it's old-fashioned. A child needs a sturdy foundation. There are too many mixed families out there with too many messed-up kids."

I snorted. "Well, it's going to have me for a mom, so I'd say it's already screwed there."

Ray blinked, looking surprised I could say such a thing. "I think you just might surprise yourself on that count."

My mouth fell open. "What makes you think I'm in any way motherly?"

"I know you, Kara. I know what's hidden behind your tough exterior. You're going to be a great mother."

Ray stepped suddenly closer to me. He lifted his hand to set it on the side of my neck.

"I want to marry you, Kara," he murmured, his face drawing closer to mine. "Why don't you want to marry me?"

His achingly sweet tone melted everything inside me like butter over hot pancakes. I wished I could sneer something scathing like, "Gee, maybe because this whole marriage idea has nothing to do with me and everything to do with your own sense of morality." But I couldn't utter the words.

Strange. I kept finding more and more that I was unable to say aloud lately, which was very unlike me.

Ray's fingers curled, and he ran his knuckles over my jaw, watching his hand caress me as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

I grabbed his wrist pulling his hand from my face. "You can't sweet talk me into this."

He had the gall to look amused. "I assure you, it never once crossed my mind that I could sweet talk the ultimate hard-ass girl into doing anything."

Ray tilted his head as if he was going to kiss me. I swallowed and tightened my grip on his wrist, meeting his gaze with a stony expression.

I knew him. I knew what each look meant. I knew when he wanted to be with me. I knew when he was tired, hungry, and even when he wanted to be left alone.

Part of me wanted to hate that I knew all of this about Ray, and the other part, the part that I shouldn't listen to, wanted to hold him in my arms and never let him go. That part wanted to build a life, a home, and a family with him and trust that everything was going to be okay.

"You can't seduce me into it, either."

But he threw me off track when he quietly admitted, "I can't stop thinking about our first night here."

God! I couldn't stop thinking about it, either. That was when all this mess started.

"We were good together," he breathed, tilting his face even closer until our foreheads were almost touching. "Don't try to disagree with me. I'll know you're lying. You liked it just as much as I did."

"S—so?" I uttered, in a suddenly shaky voice. "Good sex does not—"

"It'd be a nice little side benefit, though, wouldn't it?" His mouth was close enough that it brushed mine with every few words he spoke. "Just imagine it. Any time you wanted it, there I'd be. You could wake up on a lazy Saturday morning, roll toward me, and take me any way you wanted."

I swallowed, helpless to imagine it. The idea was tempting, especially if the man was Ray.

I felt his lips press against my forehead. I didn't know what to think about all of this. It seemed to be too much too fast.

"I miss that about being in a steady relationship," he said, tugging free of my hold on his wrist, so he could bring his fingers back to my face. Tracing the bottom curve of my lip, he continued. "I miss knowing someone was beside me to touch and kiss whenever I wanted. But knowing it'd be you would be even more—"

He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't have to. Closing my eyes, I lifted my face in surrender.

It'd been almost three months since we'd been together. But I could still recall the exact texture of his fingers on me.

Ray stripped off my shirt in one swift move and cupped my breasts, pinching my nipples.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch," I cried. "They're tender."

"Sorry," he rasped.

I thought Ray would leave my swollen tits alone. But telling him they were ultra-sensitive only seemed to make him more interested. Gentling his touch, he pushed down the cups and gathered the twins in his hands, massaging them with a skill that made me moan and arch against him.

"Damn you, Ray!" I whispered, in a husky voice.

He grinned, picked me up, laid me on the couch, and moved down on top of me.

Part of me knew having sex right now would be a really bad idea. Too much was still unresolved.

"Stop," I panted, covering his hands with my shaking fingers.

I looked into Ray's eyes, and the desire I saw in them almost made me forget about everything else. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

This was pure, hot need in its rawest form.

"This isn't going to resolve anything," I muttered.

I knew I wasn't going to stop Ray if he pressed the matter. In fact, I'd probably beg him for more until we were both naked and sweaty and depleted from rippling orgasms. But Ray was a gentleman and he realized the timing was wrong.

Taking a deep breath, he scooted to the other end of the room.

I pushed my bra back into place. Then I went and retrieved my shirt.

"I won't marry you," I repeated.

His gaze was unreadable. He studied me for a moment and then said, "I think we should at least tell our families together."

I arched an eyebrow. "Tell them what? That we're not getting married?"

"No, smarty pants. That you're pregnant," he corrected, sending me a scowl for my lame attempt at sarcasm.

"You're right," I muttered reluctantly.

"We can't put it off now, we know the word's spreading. Our families need to learn the news from us... especially your side."

"Why especially my side?"

"Because my parents are still on a cruise. And even if they knew you're pregnant, they wouldn't think it's mine. But it's pretty obvious the baby is yours... so, it's more urgent to tell your side."

"Fine," I sighed in defeat. "Let's get this over with then."

CHAPTER 11

We used my car to drive together to my parents' house. I knew my parents would be at home. They had probably just finished dinner.

I parked in the driveway and we walked together to the front door.

Stopping in the doorway, I could feel Ray stumble to a halt beside me. From the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at me curiously, probably worried I was going to chicken out.

Of course, I didn´t.

I knocked on the front door and waited. My heart thumped in my chest. Ray took my hand in his, squeezed, and gave me a reassuring smile.

He wanted me to make the announcement. So, I'd announce.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. If anyone cares to know, Ray and I are having a baby."

With that said, I turned to stalk off. Ray remained outside the front door, staring after me.

"Are you coming?" I asked Ray.

"Kara, get your tail back here!" my father shouted out. He sounded pissed at me.

I muttered a curse, closed my eyes, and turned in Dad's direction. Ray and I stepped into the living room, our hands linked together. He sat at my side, and gave me a reassuring smile. We looked at my parents in silence for a few seconds.

It surprised me just how comforted I was by Ray's automatic show of support. He might be a quiet, reserved person, giving off the impression he was shy. But he had a backbone. He didn't back down from certain duties, even ones that made him want to run for the hills.

"You're pulling our leg, aren't you?" Dad finally said, as he glanced from me to Ray. "I mean, you two..." he shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of negative thoughts.

"I'm so disappointed in you two," my mother growled, and glared disapprovingly between Ray and me.

"So... when's the wedding?" Dad asked.

Ray looked expectantly at me. "That's what I'd like to know."

He bent down on one knee, took my hand in his, and said, "Kara Grant will you marry me?"

Mom gasped.

I should have guessed Ray was going to do something like this to me in front of my parents.

"Get up, you romantic fool," I hissed.

"Not until you answer." His eyes were dead serious and locked on mine.

I sighed. Too bad my sister Jenny wasn't here. She would have taken my side.

"No, I won't marry you," I said, clearly and loudly enough for all to hear. "You can't peer-pressure me into a marriage. You should know me better than this."

Ray rose from his bended knee in one smooth gesture. His face flashed red.

I hadn't meant to be harsh, but come on!

"Kara, please." Ray took my hand and a familiar warmth shot up my arm.

"We're not getting married," I said, and pulled my hand from his.

"I want to know why there's not going to be a wedding," Mom growled.

"That's none of your concern, Mom," I said, with a defying look.

"No, I want to hear this reason, too," Ray said, crossing his arms over his chest and cocking me an arch look.

I growled in frustration. Damn! I knew I probably hadn't heard the last of his marriage-talk nonsense, but I never would've guessed Ray would so sneakily enlist the help of my own parents.

"Don't you start with me again," I groused. "We already went over this. There's no reason we should marry. I told you, you can have as much Daddy time as you want. You can—"

"That's not the same, and you know it. A baby needs a family," Ray said. Dad and Mom nodded, approving his words.

"You're being ridiculous." I raised my voice.

"Kara," Ray said under his breath, risking a quick glance toward Dad. My father was listening to his every word. "Will you just listen to me? I—"

"No. I'm not going to sit here and listen to you all over again. We're not getting married, and that's that."

"Guess you two are still working out the date," Mom cut in. She eyed Ray thoughtfully before sighing. "I suppose there's worse out there."

For the first time since entering my parents' home, Ray looked contrite.

"Thanks, Mom, you just insulted my baby's father," I told her.

Ray definitely had a hold on me, because I felt the urge to defend him, to say I'd marry him just to wipe that miserable look of shame off his face. I'd never liked seeing anything suffer, but that trait seemed magnified tenfold with Ray.

"Can we leave now?" I asked abruptly, more uncomfortable with the situation than I ever would've admitted. I'd probably just turn tail and stalk out of there if the obstinate man who'd knocked me up hadn't insisted on us riding together.

Ray nodded once and then focused his attention on my parents. "There will be a wedding," he assured them.

"Do you ever think about someone else besides yourself, Kara? You'll be a trollop to the people in town. How will that make us look? Your father and I will have to drive to the next town to get our groceries," Mom said, wringing her hands. "Why do you have to make everything so difficult?"

"That's enough!" Ray growled, effectively making my annoying mother swallow her tongue.

Mom looked at Ray with her mouth open. Dad was surprised, too. I saw a look of respect in his eyes.

It felt somewhat strange watching someone defend me. Strange in a good way.

I linked my arm with Ray's, and we turned toward the front door

Ray spoke softly in my ear. "What's it going to take for you to say yes?"

I stiffened. He just wouldn't stop pushing me for more. It was time to be blunt.

"Love. You don't love me."

He looked confused. "You're the mother of my only child. We are best friends, of course, I love you."

I shook my head. "You love my baby. You're not IN LOVE with me."

"Love is something made up by corporations to sell more cards."

"If you truly believe that, then you've never been in love."

"I thought I was in love once. I thought it was true love. But she tore my heart out of my chest and stomped on the pieces until there was nothing left. It won't happen again."

+++

As soon as Skype opened, I heard it ringing and my heart leaped.

Ray looked at me, and I nodded. Then, he clicked the green button.

A screen popped up and two beaming faces appeared before us.

Ray's parents looked a bit older than I remembered, but I still recognized them. They both looked happy and tanned.

This was probably going to change. Informing your parents that you knocked up an old friend might run their trip.

"Ray," his mother exclaimed, her eyes brightening instantly. "What a delightful surprise."

"Mom," Ray murmured, smiling back at her.

"Hello, son," said Ray's father, waving his hand. Then, he noticed me lurking behind his son.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't see you were with someone else. Who is this beautiful lady?" he asked.

"Mom... Dad... Remember Kara?"

I sat at Ray's side and waved to the screen.

"Of course, hello dear. Nice to see you again," Ray's mother said waving to the screen. "Your sister was involved in that terrible accident," she said, and shook her head.

"That's right, Mrs. Clarke. Nice to see you again," I said waving back.

"Please, call me Samantha, dear. How is she doing?"

"Jenny had some rough times, as you can imagine, but now she is doing great. She got a teaching degree and she is working at Middletown High. She also got married to a wonderful man."

Ray's parents smiled at me.

"We're happy for her. Give your sister our regards," Mrs. Clarke said.

"I will. Thank you."

An awkward silence followed. I wasn't interested in small talk; I wanted Ray to get straight to the point. I elbowed him in the ribs, silently urging him to talk.

"Everything's okay?" Mr. Clarke asked, sending his son a questioning look.

It was clear Ray's parents had no idea which was the purpose of my presence.

Ray cleared his throat and announced without preamble. "Kara is pregnant." That both his parents were shocked was obvious, although to her credit his mother recovered herself quickly. "But... but that's... wonderful... Congratulations, dear!"

"The baby is mine," Ray added.

Mr. Clark looked at his son in shock. "Are you absolutely sure?"

My jaw tightened. Ray took my hand in his and squeezed it. "I'm positive, Dad."