All Comments on 'The Godmother: Ch. 01'

If this story continues as it's started, then it promises to be very good. Don't worry about the lack of eroticism yet. A slow-burn build up is far better than those stories where two characters meet and by the second paragraph they're shagging like bunnies! I've given five well-deserved stars for this starting chapter. Now the petty quibbles: there are quite a few what are probably typos. I noticed that in several places you used the word 'too' when it should have been 'to'. Your writing is quite good so some careful editing / proof-reading should help you avoid these sort of problems.

Maonaigh, Thank you very much for the feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed the first Chapter! You are correct, I need to be more thorough in my proofing, once I get rolling I blow right through it and typos become more and more frequent. Will work on this for following Chapters! Look for Chapter 2 hopefully this week!

Good strong narrative, looking forward to more.

A very promising and dare I say intriguing opening installment. Your five stars are earned for arousing my interest in what promises to be a very enjoyable read. I look forward to finding out more about Francesca and Maria as the story unfolds. Keep up the good work.

A promising opening. I look forward to reading (a lot) more.