All Comments on 'The Great Outdoors'

A nice first effort. It could have been longer. Don't stop. I'd like to see more.

A little more proofreading is in order.

"She had always been a woman with pride. Her black wavy hair touched her shoulders; her floral dress brought her petite figure to life." I'm not sure how having hair to her shoulders and a floral dress denotes pride.

"Yuzuko sighed, watching Sakura hang her head in shame." Why is she hanging her head in shame in this particular situation?

"Laying on their sides, they faced each other. " Objects lay. People "lie" - "Lying on their sides..."

"... reaching for her legs and stimulating the vulva and G-spot." What do legs have to do with vulvas and G-spots? It sounds very clinical if inaccurate.