The Harem: Episode 6

In her mind Jennifer saw this house as a guy-free zone. There would be none of the petty problems she had experienced in her relationships with men and it would provide refuge from potential problems with Brad. The house was a desert island she could land on when she needed to get away from it all. There were no complications here, just love and lust whenever you needed it. It had been all girl, all the time but now there were three guys within striking distance.

Jennifer felt like every move she made now with her housemates was dangerous and risked discovery. She knew that was foolish and she'd get over it, but the idea that no one else was around was now shattered.

It's not like it was their fault though. They didn't know the truth of what was going on here; at least Jennifer hoped they didn't. Waldo and Franklin seemed like decent sorts even if Delbert didn't appear to be a permanent resident of this solar system. Jennifer felt like she had blown them off and she prided herself on being nice to people.

It wasn't like it would be an effort for her to go over to their little place and apologize, Jennifer thought. Then she could set things right and put her own conscience at ease. Having already made the decision to go over there in the morning, Jennifer knew debate was unnecessary. Feeling better already, Jennifer felt her body allow sleep to come and she dozed once again.

When she awoke, the night was but a distant memory. The sunlight was streaming through her windows and Jennifer stretched out like a content cat, letting the touch of natural light cover her bare skin. She saw it was only 8:30 a.m. and guessed that her housemates were probably still sleeping off their sex hangovers. Deciding that there was no time like the present to go over to the neighbors, Jennifer dressed and went over to make her apologies.

Deciding the best way to access their domicile was around the back; Jennifer exited the house and walked on the back path toward her destination. The closer she got, Jennifer was able to see a clearer picture of the house. The style of the architecture was the same as their house, but on a much, much reduced scale. Jennifer guessed it was some kind of servant's quarters or something. It looked kind of run down and she and her housemates must have just missed it in the excitement of moving in and their other activities. She'd have to call Lindsey Carlson, their real estate agent, later to get the full story on this place.

Not quite knowing what she was going to get when she did so, Jennifer began knocking on the door. She knocked a few times before she finally heard movement from the inside.

"Hold on…hold on…" a groggy voice said from the inside. That was followed by a loud bang and a sharp, "Ow!" A few seconds, the door was opened and Jennifer found herself face to face with a freshly awoken Waldo P. Harrington.

"Leprechaun girl?" he asked, not quite sure if he was still dreaming or not. He was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants and he had a nasty case of bed head.

"You can just call me Jen," Jennifer told him. "Are you all right?"

"What do you mean?" Waldo asked.

"Well I heard you say 'Ow!'" Jennifer explained. "And I was just wondering if you were ok."

"Oh I'm fine," Waldo replied. "I just walked into the wall. Don't worry, it happens sometimes."

"Ok," Jennifer stated. "Listen, I just wanted to come over and apologize for last night?"

"Apologize? Why?" Waldo asked. "Did we do something I forgot about?"

"Hardly," Jennifer replied, not wanting there to be any insinuation here. "I just kind of yelled at you a little and blew you off so I wanted to say I was sorry."

"Naw, it's cool," Waldo said. "Don't sweat it. We did kind of freak you out last night. You want to come in?"

"Ok," Jennifer agreed. "Are you sure it's cool?"

"Yeah it's no problem," Waldo said, holding the door open for her. "Let me just get the others up."

Jennifer nearly gasped when she saw the inside of the house. She suddenly felt an urge to clean everything in sight. Their house was like a dorm room stereotype taken to the extreme. It was all one level and there were no beds in sight, just three hammocks, two of which were still occupied. There was a TV in there and a whole mess of electronics amongst the discarded fast food containers, pizza boxes and other reminders of the bachelor lifestyle. Jennifer supposed that she shouldn't have been surprised to see three 20-year olds living like this, but it was still disturbing to her sense of cleanliness.

Waldo walked over to the other two hammocks and proceeded to dump his friends out of them. They hit the floor, which was covered in a dark blue carpet, with a dull thwump.

"What? What is it?" Franklin asked as he searched for his glasses. "Is it the DEA?"

"No, no no," Waldo replied after noticing that, despite his fall to the floor, Delbert was still sleeping soundly. "Just the neighbor."
Franklin put his glasses on and was then able to recognize their visitor.

"Heyyy…Leprechaun girl," Franklin smiled.

"Just call me Jen," Jennifer sighed. She couldn't believe this. Did they even watch that TV in front of them? What would they remember Love for, the "Byrds of Paradise" girl?

"Ok, Jen," Franklin said. "What brings you over here?"

"She wanted to take us up on our offer," Waldo said as he successfully roused Delbert.

"Hey it's…" Delbert began.

"Just call me Jen," Jennifer interrupted, before he could say what she knew he was going to say.

"Well this is pretty much it," Franklin said as he indicated their surroundings. "It's not much, but it's ours."

"What do you guys do?" Jennifer asked.

"Whatever we have to," Waldo sighed. "A little of this and a little of that. As long as we've got the Playstation 2 and food, then we're happy."

"Very happy…" Delbert emphasized. "Life kicks ass."

"Wow!" Jennifer marveled. "That's the biggest jug of pretzels I've ever seen!"

"Yeah shop smart, shop S Mart," Delbert agreed. "You should have seen the jug of little goldfish crackers we had."

"Seems cozy," Jennifer surveyed while hoping they weren't going to ask her any questions about what it was like going on next door. She was here to quell suspicion, not to cause it.

"Yeah, well there's this and there's the lab," Waldo said. "It's all we need."

"The lab?" Jennifer asked, not sure if she heard him correctly.

"Yep the lab," Franklin repeated. "You want to see it?"

"Now wait, shouldn't that be a group decision?" Waldo asked. "We need a unanimous vote before anyone else is granted access to the secure areas."

"Quite right," Franklin agreed. "Group huddle!"

While a bemused Jennifer watched, the three pajama clad youths then got into a group huddle. They conferenced back and forth for a few minutes before they finally reached a consensus.

"Ok, you can come to the lab, but turn your back, for a second, ok?" Waldo requested.

"Sure, no problem," Jennifer replied, barely stifling a giggle. She turned her back and then heard the punching of numbers on a keypad. The sound of a door unlocking and then opening followed it.

"Ok, you can turn around now," Delbert informed her and Jennifer did thusly. When she did she saw that a door had opened to an underground structure. Jennifer was impressed slightly and that only grew when she was lead downstairs and got a scope of what she was talking about. It was like something out of a movie. Beakers and Bunsen burners seemed to be set up everywhere, but that was nothing compared to the sophisticated electronics that were everywhere. Jennifer had gone from low tech to high tech just by going down a flight of stairs and she couldn't hide her amazement.

"Cool huh," Franklin stated. "We get a lot of work done here."

"Wow," Jennifer said simply. "It's amazing."

She really was impressed. They said that things were not always as they seemed and that certainly was the case here. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. If The Lone Gunman had been this well equipped, FOX never would have canceled them.

"Meet the pets," Waldo offered and Jennifer took a sharp step back when she saw that he was holding a fully-grown iguana in his hands. "This is Izzy. Say hi, Izzy."

Izzy then stuck his tongue out, which Jennifer could only assume meant "Hello" in lizard. She backed up slightly again and found herself facing a water tank that held a small, but very real shark inside.

"Oh my God!" Jennifer smiled as she put her hand against the glass, totally fascinated by this. "He's not one of those man eaters terrorizing the beaches of America is he?"

"Nahh, Pete prefers chicken wings," Waldo explained. "Let me show you our guard dog."

The guard dog in charge of security here was very far from a viscous pit bull. It was a St. Bernard, who seemed more likely to drool on an intruder's shoes than do anything remotely threatening.

"This is Julius," Waldo said, introducing him.

"Awwwwwwww a puppy," Jennifer melted upon seeing him. "He's the cutest thing ever." Jennifer then began to rub Julius' head and he responded quite favorably to the action. However, it wasn't long before Jennifer found her attention drawn elsewhere. She saw it first out of the corner of her eyes. It seemed like some kind of random plant growth under the lights of one of the tables, but Jennifer quickly saw that it was something she was very familiar with.

"Is that?" Jennifer gasped in amazement.

"Mmm hmm," Franklin answered. "All home grown from our own formula. We're using hydroponics. We've been experimenting with it for awhile now and we think we've just about perfected it."

Jennifer could barely speak as she walked over and touched it. She wasn't an addict. She just liked the stuff and touching a developing crop of marijuana was something she was curious enough to do.

"Wow…" Jennifer marveled. "I never would have thought that you…you know…"

"How did you think we could afford all this stuff?" Waldo said.

"Good point," Jennifer agreed. "It's amazing. How do you grow it underground like this?"

"Trade secret," Franklin replied. "But it's really potent and a guaranteed high. I'm in charge of development."

"Cool," Jennifer said as she fondled the leaves, touching it as she would a holy object discovered in an archaeological dig.

"Hey, you wanna get high with us?" Waldo asked and Jennifer had a quick and decisive response.

"Absolutely," she smiled.

* * * * *

"So I had the Bill Clinton dream again last night," Rose admitted as she, Love and Sarah sat around in the kitchen.

"Were you in the dress?" Sarah inquired between sips of coffee.

"Mmm hmm and the beret and everything," Rose sighed.

"That just never stops being disturbing," Love analyzed.

"Tell me about it," Rose said. "At least he's not bad looking. I mean when it comes to having a dream guy like that, you could do at worse."

"Yeah, if you were dreaming about George W. we'd have to have you committed," Sarah smirked.

"I'd only go if you were doing my bed check every night," Rose shot right back.

"Speaking of bed checks, does anyone know where Jennifer is?" Love asked. "Think we scared her off yesterday?"

"No fucking way," Rose emphatically declared. "We finally had her reveling in her slutty ways yesterday. She was begging for more. I'm surprised she didn't crawl into bed with one of us last night."

"I'm surprised you didn't," Sarah said. "I was kind of hoping you would."

"So you're saying you're hungry for some breakfast?" Rose asked with an unmistakable look of lust.

"If she isn't, I sure am," Love jumped in, not wanting to be the forgotten girl.

"Oh I'm hungry," Sarah replied, giving Rose that look back and then some. "What'cha gonna feed me?"

But before the mood could grow any more heated, Jennifer returned with a wild-eyed look that had nothing to do with great sex. She was muttering something under her breath as she began foraging through the cabinets in search of something.

"Ummm are you ok, Jennifer?" Love asked, none of them quite sure what to make of their friends sudden entrance.

"Crackers…gotta find some crackers…" Jennifer mumbled.

"Crackers?" Sarah repeated.

"Yeah…crackers," Jennifer requested. "Or chips, we got any chips? Like Pringles or something like that?"

"Ummm yeah, I think we got something in there," Sarah said as Rose failed in her attempt to stifle her laughter. Rose just couldn't help but see the humor in Jennifer's behavior and that sent Love off on a laughing trip too.

Jennifer pulled out a box of Cheerios and munched on a couple before losing interest and tossing it on the floor. She did the same with a bag of pistachio nuts when she found getting them out of the shell way to difficult a task to complete.

"Jennifer, what's going on?" Love asked in between giggles. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah…yeah…yeah…I'm fine," Jennifer answered in a distracted tone as she continued rummaging, "Oooooooh! Chips!"

Jennifer then pulled out a container of Pringles and paused only a mere second before eating them quickly. She tore through the chips, much to the amazement of her housemates and when she was finished she proceeded to lick every drop of salt from her fingers. Doing this allowed her friends to get a good look at her eyes and clued them into her condition.

"Holy shit!" Rose laughed. "That girl is stoned!" Rose had been trying to fight her laughter since Jennifer had entered and she found the revelation of her friend's chemically altered state to be endlessly hilarious. Rose cracked and filled the room with laughter deep from inside. Jennifer suddenly began looking suspiciously back and forth at all the girls at the table, her eyes ping ponging from one to the other. This only made Rose laugh harder and tears were soon falling down her cheeks.

"What?" the much more naïve Love interjected. "How do you know?"

"Please," Rose laughed, trying to control herself. "Remember who I was engaged to. I know when someone's stoned and this girl is not exactly a guest on our astral plane right now."

"What the hell happened?" Sarah asked. "Where have you been Jennifer?"

"Met the neighbors…" Jennifer mumbled as she moved over to the freezer and happily exclaimed when she found a box of Popsicles inside. "They had some gooooooooooood shit. Reallllllllllll gooooooooooooooood."

"She is way out of it," Rose laughed. "Way to go Jen! Whatever you just smoked, I hope you saved some for me."

"Oooooooh they got lots and lots of it," Jennifer replied, her whole face brightening as she licked away at a grape Popsicle, making it disappear faster than a hungry kid on a 100 degree day would have, leaving her lips and tongue all purple. "They got like a bazillion pounds or something back there!"

"Who is they?" Love asked. "And what are you talking about? What neighbors?"

"The guys…" Jennifer said as she searched her memory banks. "You know…whatshisname…and the other guy…and the one with glasses. Damn, I just had them on the tip of my tongue. Say you girls think it's too early to order Chinese?"

"We have neighbors?" Sarah inquired in disbelief.

"Yeah…someone took their flag," Jennifer muttered, as a dribble of grape Popsicle ran down her chin from her talking with her mouth full.

"Ooopsie," Love said shyly. "I didn't know it belonged to anyone."

"Nahhhh it's cool," Jennifer replied, unconcerned about her messy face. "You should go on over and maybe they'll hook you up."

"I think we'll pass," Sarah declared emphatically. "We'll pay them a visit another day and not for that."

"Sarah, you don't think they saw us yesterday, do you?" Love asked.

"No wonder they gave her free pot," Rose smirked. "We probably gave them the thrill of their lives."

"I'm sure they didn't see anything," Sarah assured Love. "But those of us who aren't stoned need to get ready for work."

"I don't," Love grumbled, as the fact she was the only one of them not currently working was hit home.

"Awww I didn't mean it like that," Sarah said. "Something's gonna come your way. I know it will."

"You're right," Love sighed. "It's just that…"

"Hey look at it this way," Rose pointed out. "While we're out slaving away at the acting grind, you'll be here interviewing maids."

Love's face brightened at the prospect and her mind wrapped itself around some yummy fantasies.

"Damn, now I wish I was unemployed too," Sarah joked.

"Well we'll all be if we don't get our asses to our respective networks," Rose said. "Just don't wear the maids out before they actually get to clean."

"I promise nothing," Love teased as the three of them left the room with Jennifer staying behind, sitting at the table.

"I am sooooooo fucking stoned," Jennifer giggled in the empty room before helping herself to another Popsicle.

* * * * *

When Rose finally emerged from her room again she had slipped into her work clothes, if by work clothes you meant jeans and a t-shirt she pulled from the bottom of the drawer. She liked the fact that it didn't matter what she wore to work because whatever it was, it was the costumer's job to transform her from Rose McGowan to Paige Halliwell. She could wear whatever she felt comfortable in, even though she still liked best hanging around the house wearing absolutely nothing.

She had had serious reservations about signing onto a WB program, especially one that could be as silly as "Charmed." But she had gotten over most of those reservations. The scripts were pretty good considering, and the money was real nice for her. Plus it helped that she got along with her co-stars, Alyssa Milano and Holly Marie Combs, very nicely both professionally and personally.

Rose could easily summon the very pleasant memories of how she had turned both of those girls into putty in her hands and transformed Alyssa's bedroom into a cauldron of lust. She had to get those girls over to the house soon for some quality time. She knew her housemates would love to get a crack at her comely co-stars.

The one thing Rose didn't like about the show was the schedule. On the majority of the films she'd done, she'd enjoyed a leisurely schedule where she could take her time, get into character and not feel rushed to deliver the perfect take right away. Series television was an entirely different experience and it was one Rose was only now getting used to. She also didn't like the early call times, but she supposed the money was worth getting up so early.

"Rose! Wait!" a voice called out, just as Rose was heading toward the door. Rose turned around to see Sarah running after her, still wearing the robe she had on at breakfast.

"What's up, Sarah?" Rose asked.

"I just wanted to thank you for what you did for Love, making her feel better and all that," Sarah said. "I think she feels kind of bad about her career lately."

"Well I figured it was better to say that than tell her to pull her weight or hit the streets," Rose smiled. "It was no sweat. Love's a sweetie."

"I also wanted to thank you…for yesterday," Sarah said slowly, her hand reaching up and stroking Rose's cheek. "You created a lot of fun and ummmm I don't think I thanked you properly."

Sarah then leaned forward and placed a passionate kiss on Rose's lips. Rose's immediate reaction was to respond in kind, but even she was surprised when she reluctantly pushed Sarah away.

"Wow, I never thought I'd be the responsible one around here," Rose marveled. "But don't you think we need to get to work?"

"I'd much rather thank you," Sarah said, giving Rose the look that made her hedonist heart beat proud. "What are they gonna do, film without their stars? Besides, I don't want you having any more Bill Clinton dreams. I'd much rather you were dreaming of me."

"I don't need to dream of you, I can have you any time I want you," Rose confidently stated.