The Hired Gun Ch. 03

"Hello?"

"Hey cuz, long time no see."

"What are you up to, bruh?"

"Nothing, really."

"Who are you fucking with now?"

"Nobody uh, technically."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not fucking with nobody, technically."

"Man, what the fuck is that supposed to mean, technically?"

"...uhm."

"Spit it out, technically brother."

"Well technically, you're fucking with somebody; or will be."

"I'm gonna fuck you up, cuz."

"Calm down."

"So, what do you want, for real?"

"Uh, face to face, okay?"

"I'm gonna say no."

"Jaquan?"

"I don't wanna be involved in some shit, bruh."

"Face to face."

"No."

"I'm going for a run at the park; probably about nine in the am."

"I'm not coming, cuz."

"Maybe about nine thirty; I'm tired from yesterday, Jaquan. Shot a lot of content man; bruh, you should have seen the ass on the model I had yesterday. Lines up with Rashida something serious, redbone MILF."

There were a few moments of silence on the other end of the line.

"That's a bold claim."

"You see Rashida all the time, so you know what I'm talking about, marginally. This one was motherfucking cornfed and packed in the back, bruh. Our girl Thunda got that power and a patent on the curve, but Mz. Giggles packing it in with a long, floppy back porch."

"Mz. Giggles?"

"I didn't pick the name, but it applies."

There was another long pause on the line as I scratched the back of my head waiting for the obvious.

"How come I never seen her on your site?"

"Because you're cheap, nigga."

My auntie's clandestine occupation was hidden behind a paywall and priced high enough to run off any chintzy patrons of my site. I regularly patrolled various sites online hitting any leaked content over ten minutes with copyright claims but left brief clips untouched to build my brand. I was making a nice bit of coin which I socked away while maintaining a day job in planned anonymity. At first it was to keep my parents and relatives out of the loop but became a strategic point of survival in the real world, afterwards.

"We family, how come you don't give me no pass or something?" He reasoned, revealing his open nose.

"Bitch."

"Well, we folks, ain't we?"

"I'll think about it, at the park around nine thirty." I hung up in his face, then sat up in my bed stretching out cracking some bones with an early morning yawn before walking over to my editing setup. I'd been up into the night editing a thirst trap video for my Auntie Esther aka Mz. Giggles.

The teaser was less than a minute of my disembodied hands having their way with her big, elongated cheeks pinching, groping, and kneading them into an oily mess before a sharp jump cut saw me beating her back out POV with an excessive nasty money shot, in enhanced stereo no less.

I shot it to Jaquan before switching off my android.

"What the fuck is this shit?" I opened my bedroom door to find a mess in my kitchen. The counter was dripping almond milk off the edge. The floor was littered with cereal which crunched under my house shoes as I tightened my robe biting my lower lip.

"ANDRE, YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP!!"

"Sorry." His voice came down the hall in a whimper prompting a powerwalk to the living room where he'd been sequestered using the couch as a bed.

This proved to be equally devastating as I found a literal mess from the entrance to the room leading to the couch where my temporary charge was making camp engrossed in his Nintendo Switch. Overnight Andre appeared to have raided the fridge and cabinets numerous times resulting in wrappers, open containers and a large half eaten cake sized bowl of red berries Special K haphazardly placed on the edge of my jacked-up coffee table.

"Nuh-No bro!" I snatched the game from his hands, brow furrowed.

"I was gonna clean it up before you got up; I just wanted to get in a few games."

"CLEAN THIS SHIT UP, NOW!!" I stormed off not caring if I'd just passed some sort of universal parenting shit test from the most high as he started to slowly move.

Currently I was housing my male talent Andre 13.5 after his "wife" unexpectedly made an appearance at his job right after I'd sprung him from Hotdog on a Stick, for a shoot. To be honest I didn't know the dynamic of his relationship with the woman until I was obliged to ask before purchasing a game console for the man as payment for said shoot with my model, Mz. Giggles. To my horror, I discovered a man living in modern slavery. The fact that he wasn't allowed to have a pic of his old lady was telling enough and I suspected some sort of monkey branching in Andre's near future.

I felt responsible since I'd started him on his clandestine career in online porn by proxy through another talent, Ms. WTF. He'd been used from day one and his high school girlfriend had been a stop gap for other women looking to monopolize the guy because of his endowment. For a while, most of his friends and associates thought "the wife" was a fictional construct. Now, within the last twenty-four hours I'd discovered this woman was all too real and in dire need of having her wig split.

"HEY ANDRE!!" I screamed halfway down the corridor which made him come running with handfuls of trash.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know how to flush the toilet nigga?"

Suffice it to say I ended up arriving for my early morning run sometime after nine forty-five after "supervising" the cleaning up of my abode and Andre's subsequent wardrobe with some loaned basketball shorts and a white tank that looked stupid on his muscular frame. I was stuck with the noob until I completed a running plan to deliver justice to his mundane existence. Andre didn't care much at all, but showed flickers of genuine apprehension when his wife was mentioned in tandem with his return home.

In the end I tooled over to the park with the man in my backseat like human luggage. He didn't care just sitting back there playing his game giving me the sarcastic impression he might need a baby seat. This rampant internal burn caused me to check myself internally because everybody treated him like a living prop, and so did I when we interacted. The way I saw it was that I was giving something back to clear my karma after inadvertently setting him up to be knocked down like a bowling pin in the past.

I found Jaquan's car parked in the lot pulling up beside it finding the driver side window, partially down. Andre was sitting there in the backseat lost in his game, so I lowered the back windows a little bit before hopping out walking across the grass leading to the edge of the small hill peering down onto the track. I

"Oh, okay." I half smirked.

My cousin was presently engaged in the hard sell running beside some incredibly thick redbone with a head full of short blonde locs. Correction, he was chasing her as she jogged along at a decent clip having just cleared a right turn on the track moving in the opposite direction. This was a young, probably college aged woman lightly nodding her head in time with whatever he was saying as he did his best to keep up while running backwards. I chuckled glancing back at Andre still sitting there lost in his game. Out of nowhere she put a foot on the gas speeding off at a clip as I started to wonder if there was some sort of otherworldly portal to a dimension of ridiculously thick and packed women.

"Brutal." I got out my android in time to catch my cousin tragically topple over rolling head over heels wiping out on the track. His intended target was several feet away already turning a left about to come up running right by me as I sat on the hill.

"HI BOI!!" She greeted me cheerfully running by waving as Jaquan sat up visibly embarrassed. I instinctively followed her with my android getting a rewarding view of her backside. My jaw dropped at the sight of her warring cheeks looking like two pillows shoved into those shorts with a wealth of cheekage bulging out from the back. Her running motions were turning them into bikini bottoms.

Her face was sort of roundish reminding me of this actress named Michelle Hurd, maybe a younger almost teenaged version of that woman. I chalked it up to the short dyed blonde locs framing her smiling face in the brief glimpse I got as she ran by waving happily. Her hair was longer tied off into a frizzy ponytail in the back which was bobbing and waving in the air like a flag in the wind.

"Hey." I mumbled taken aback by her powerful bottom-heavy hourglass figure. Things seemed to slow down as she jogged by with her arms crossed over a prominent bust covered in this African print running crop top which matched the canary yellow shorts and Free Run Nikes on her feet.

It was too late as she rounded the corner of the track noticeably speeding by my cousin making it a point to hurdle over him without breaking stride. Jaquan sat there with his elbows resting on top of his knees looking over his shoulder at those monster sized cheeks. That fleeting glimpse proved to be enough for my lothario cousin who seemed to be starting off his day with a bit of a rough patch as he noticed me. I couldn't help laughing at him as his intended target ran by again.

"HEY NOW BOI!!" She shouted again as she sped by while my cousin was walking across the middle of the field which was encircled by the track.

"HEY!!" I waved back intentionally goofing and still laughing at Jaquan. It was obvious she had spoken to me as a dig at my cousin who'd probably been on her case trying to make a connection. I kept filming as he reached the edge of the small hill, starting to walk up to meet me.

"Having fun, nigga?"

"Yeah." I burst into uproarious laughter, then flinched when it looked like he would take advantage of the situation and stomp on me where I sat.

"Why're you jumping? I should lump you up for having me down at the park out here trifling."

"Need I remind you that you were the one who suggested I work on my fitness."

"I was talking about getting in the gym and hitting those weights; what're you gonna do out here that's gonna get some real results, huh?"

"Ask Rashida."

"Ha, ha very funny motherfucker; why ain't got her out here running around some stupid track with your dumb ass, bruh?!" Getting rejected and embarrassed outright hit a broadside blow to his fragile ego. Laughing at his epic strike out probably didn't help matters, either.

"Because she doesn't have a twelve-inch penis."

"EXCUSE ME!" I was looking around his legs from the knees down at the pure specimen jogging down the track about to hit another left turn in our direction. Her cheeks were just that real as I angled my android trying to get more footage. Jaquan purposely got in the way, forcing me to look up at his face.

"The devils in the details, my nigga; you know you can trust me."

"You better tell me what's going on negro or I'm leaving you on your own."

"I would advise against that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Trust me cuz." I smiled making him fume leaning to the side as the woman ran by smiling at both of us with both arms crossed in front of her chest.

"LOOK PON DI GYAL POMPASETTING BOIS!!" Her accent was unmistakably Caribbean, at least in some regard as she hit that right flashing her thick, meaty yams obviously showing out for us.

"Tease." Jaquan hissed under his breath perpetually butthurt.

"Relax Jaquan; even superman has an off day every now and then." I offered a hand wanting him to help me up, but he slapped it instead. I rubbed the sting away as the girl jogged at a clip still looking at both of us chuckling.

I shrugged and waved at her getting one in turn along with a beaming smile. This didn't sit well with Jaquan who shot me a jealous look.

"Chill out bruh." I offered my hand again this time getting snatched up from the grass roughly. It felt like he was trying to yank my arm out of the socket. Ever the overgrown petulant child, Jaquan bodied me from looking at the girl further.

"Man, why you got me down here this morning?!"

"It's a little, complicated."

"Wanna roll down this fucking hill and land on your dumb head?"

"I'll tell Little Daisy." I wagged a finger in his face invoking his toddler aged daughter which made the man scoff and slump his shoulders momentarily.

"Shut your ass up and tell me what it is, cuz!"

"Jaquan, you have a rare opportunity to help an underprivileged child by granting a single wish that will undoubtedly change his life for the better, forever."

"Hill it is, then." Before I could react, He'd snatched me up over his broad shoulders like a Frankenstein monster threatening to fling me down the short hill. At the other end of the track, that woman was standing at the edge of the curve watching with hands over her mouth, horrified. My sudden girlish sounding shriek didn't help matters, either.

"Alright man, there will be consequences to this shit." I underlined my statement by reaching down into his field of vision gesturing towards the current unobtainable apple of his eye.

He let me down not wanting to look like a bully in front of a woman he coveted despite the rejection.

"Now Jaquan, you really need to get a handle on...URK!!" I was captured in a headlock almost choked out as he dragged me backward off the hill back towards the cars parked nearby. There was no way I was getting out of things until he released me which came a few moments later when he groaned shoving me so hard, I nearly crashed sideways into the asphalt.

"WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!" Jaquan bellowed.

"Relax, this is your make a wish kid, bruh." I offered with a chortle righting myself between my modest vehicle and his sports car.

"Nah, I'm out!" He started fishing about in his pockets for his car keys, but I got between him and the driver's side door.

"Look Jaquan I 'm trying to help Andre out with a problem, and I need your help just for a fucking minute man; I ain't trying to get you involved in shit, bruh. What, you ain't down with this motherfucker now, huh Jaquan? You didn't seem to mind when the two of you were busting up rooms full of bitches, did you? I'm trying to help this guy out and you should wanna help this nigga out too; somebody got their hand up his goddamn ass!"

"What that got to do with me, huh?" He replied ruefully standing right in front of me as if we were about to knuckle up.

"Jaquan."

"No man, what this shit gotta do with me, huh cuz?" He towered over me completely ripped with muscle appearing ready to plant one on my chin, but I stated the obvious right out the box.

"Man, I need your dick."

"WHAT-THE-FUCK?!" His hands were around my throat in a second threatening to throttle the life out of me or pop my head off like a Pez dispenser.

We were interrupted by laughter which killed the intense moment as both of us looked around finding the woman standing at the opposite side of my car between the trunk and the back seat window. The incredulous look on her face was telling.

"OH, ME NOT KNOWING YOU TWO WERE BATI BOYS!!" She was already laughing hard as Jaquan glanced at his hands around my neck letting go as if they were burned by an open flame. I was unbothered caring about nothing but the mission at hand.

"What?" His brow furrowed as I nudged him with my elbow getting his attention for the explanation.

"I think she's calling us gay."

"HUH?!! HEY UHM, I AIN'T GAY!! I UH, MEAN I AIN'T AGAINST PEOPLE'S RIGHTS, BUT I LIKE GIRLS!!" He was panicking while I made a suspect expression pursing my lips while reaching up behind him making rabbit ears behind his head with two fingers.

"That nice to know big boi; I'm not no girl, I be a woman all over; can't you see what's right in your face?" She gestured towards herself; arms outstretched while I made more suspect expressions as she laughed. Jaquan noticed rewarding me with a smack to the back of the head.

"OW!! Uhm, we're just messing around ma'am." I explained parrying more attempts at slaps to the back of my head.

"Nice to know baby boi; there be a motel down the way if you two are in need." She motioned towards the street, pointing north as Jaquan burst.

"Shit. Shit. SHIT!! He stomped off, shoulders stiff making both of us laugh at the childish tantrum disappearing from view down the small hill. I was left there with her and Andre to greet her offering a hand which she ignored as she identified herself.

"Me name Babbette."

"Nice to meet you, Babbette." I offered my hand again, which was ignored as she glanced into the backseat at Andre, then rapped on the window getting his attention.

"Uh hello, my name is Andre, but they call me Andre 13.5 because of my dick." He offered as her eyes widened. Babbette made the Macaulay Culkin expression from those Home alone movies.

I facepalmed as Andre innocuously smiled at Babbette.

"Oh, you're tetched in the head, special; aren't you?" She thankfully picked up on his mental state right off the bat.

"My dick..."

"Yeah, me heard that boi and I think you should maybe keep it to yourself, or I be taking it, serious son. You don't want me sticking me fist in this window and dotting your eye." Her accent was damn near indecipherable.

"Sorry, I thought you was gonna..."

"ANDRE!" I shouted before he could stick his foot in his mouth up to the knee.

"Stop thinking before your head explodes; I think you should let your father do all your thinking boi." I was impressed with her wit, cracking a half smile.

"Very funny miss; did you think I was in danger; Jaquan's my cousin, by the way."

"I don't care what two bati boys do to amuse themselves; me saw you filming me bum-bum. That, is not allowed and you'll be deleting that video, boi."

"I'll do you one better Babbette; you can delete it personally." I walked around the opposite side of my trunk getting a good look at her figure unimpeded.

Up close and personal, Babbette was a revelation and wealth of voluptuous eye candy, manifest. Her hourglass figure was packed acutely top and bottom. That lower half was accentuated with some ridiculously dense hips on a pair of shapely legs, the pure definition of ass so big, you can see it from the front. Her bust looked natural under the fitted gym top sloping beautifully getting progressively fuller at the bottom over a well-defined exposed abdomen and bikini belly button. I was close to drooling openly when she bent sideways at the waist into my immediate field of vision with a sarcastic smile.

"Hey boi, I think you're out of pocket, but medium cute; don't be messing up that first impression by checking me out without permission, son. I'll be having that phone now." Babbette had my trusty android in hand before I realized it turning profile which gave me an intended side view of the monster I'd been filming as it pushed into my trunk sort of conforming to its shape.

It looked pillow soft which sent jolts to my crotch like rampant lightning. She glanced at me with an expectant look on her somewhat authoritative face, then used a pointer finger to turn my gaze away towards Jaquan's sports car. I went with the flow leaning against the trunk next to her in order to see what would happen naturally with no duplicity on my part.

"You don't lock your phone?"

"Why would I Babbette?" I rolled my shoulders and neck getting an audible crack that she noticed peripherally.

"Your lady will be rummaging through it when you're sleeping." Her tone was whimsical, yet explorative.

"I'm single."

"That be why you watching me so hard, son?"

"Are you kidding; who wouldn't watch you uh, hard Babbette?" She chuckled already running through my android.

"Got a lot of girls in your phone here; me be thinking you a player." I smiled to myself at the beginnings of an attempted interrogation about my personal life. I wasn't that easy considering my sexual pedigree at this time in my life.

"I'm just regular."