All Comments on 'The Hotel'

Really, check your tenses.

Then watch for first/second/even third person writing.

Grammar Check will help too.

Then, have an editor go through your work.

Undoubtedly a lot of work went into this piece. Unfortunately there is more to be done.

Would like you to continue, just don't try to write beyond yourself.

This was pretty bsd.Get some help.

I liked how the writer described the anonymous, and quite passionate encounter. I most enjoyed the detailed way in which this taster invites the reader to tap into his erotic mindset. Not bad at all. SS

It's a really good story and I really enjoyed reading it except for the fact that the grammar is pretty bad. Either go back and read your writing over before posting another or maybe have somebody else read it over.

I think this was nice, and the idea of it was very good.

The only thing I would suggest, is for you to watch that you don't accidentally slip into 3rd person when you're writing 1st. Good job overall though!