The Hotel Ch. 01

When we fought, even when I know Leif agreed with me, he sided with her. I guess he knew which side of the plate his bread was buttered on and he was protecting that. He had told me that he didn't want to get in the middle of our marriage, had his views changed? Was he now actively trying to force me out?

When I got home, the house was in darkness and as silent as a tomb. I made myself a drink and sat back on the sofa with my feet up. I closed my eyes for just a moment, but when I opened them, there was Sierra. "How did your date go?" she asked huffily.

"It was fun, Julia's really nice."

"Yes, she seemed lovely. Why didn't you stay with her?" It wasn't said kindly, more an accusation. Her attitude irritated me immediately. "Because I'm not ready to make that leap just yet."

"What's holding you back?"

"The kids. I need to know where we're going before I make any decisions."

"You're scaring me, Reece. What decisions?"

"I have made no attempt to hide the fact I'm not happy with the way things are here. We tried this ridiculous shared relationship thing. It might be working for you, Sierra, but it's not working for me. Honestly. I'm not sure how much longer I can take it."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know. I'm just not happy. Tonight was a pleasant evening with somebody who listened to me, who gave me one hundred percent of her attention. We talked about lots of things, and I really enjoyed it. I don't know what that means, but I enjoyed it."

She grabbed my hand. "Lets go to bed. We can make love."

I pulled her into my arms, and Leif's smell was all over her. "Have you and Leif already had sex?"

"This isn't about Leif, it's about you and me. I want to hold you in my arms. Prove that what we have can work."

I kissed her, not a deep sensuous kiss, but a gentle reminder. "Not tonight. You apparently couldn't wait for my return. You may as well go and finish off what you started."

"Reece..."

"No, I'm tired anyway. Go back to him. It's where you'd rather be."

The morning was a bit chilly around the breakfast table. Sierra was in a grump. The kids noticed, and finished their breakfast to go out and play.

Leif jokingly asked, "How was your date, bro? Did you get lucky?"

It was a weird thing to say. Sierra would have told him everything when she went back to his bed.

"We're just friends, Leif."

He grimaced. "Sorry, bro, didn't mean to offend."

"No offence taken."

After lunch, Julia called. "Could you bring Amy back please?"

"Yeah, no worries, will three O'clock be all right?"

"Yes, perfect. Sorry for being a pain."

Dropping Amy off at Julia's place was weird. I got the strangest feeling. She was polite, but it was curt.

Julia was distant at work, polite, courteous, but distant. She managed to find an excuse not to be alone with me. At lunch time, I sat outside in the sun, waiting for her, but she never showed up. That was pretty much it: every day a repeat of the previous.

At home, things became difficult as well. Sierra seemed really stressed, even Leif seemed on edge. My world was unravelling.

The weekend rolled towards us quickly. Thursday night at the dinner table, Leif announced, "It's my mother's sixty-fifth birthday this weekend. There's going to be a big party. I'm going to go down for the weekend. I was hoping the kids could come with me."

I could see that Sierra already knew all about it. The kids though, went off their nuts. They were all excited. "Yeah, no worries." I replied.

That got a chorus of yays from the kids.

I just caught the interaction between Sierra and Leif, her quick shake of the head. There was something he wanted to say, but didn't.

As we were relaxing in the lounge, the kids off in bed. Sierra cuddled up beside me, and said, "I'm a little tired, are you ready for bed?"

Our lovemaking was fierce, more passionate than had been the norm lately.

Afterwards as we cuddled together, she said, "Would you mind if I went with Leif and the kids for the weekend?"

Since catching their exchanged glances, that was pretty much what I was expecting. "Yes, I would mind actually. The answer is no."

She seemed shocked, replying petulantly, "Why not, we don't have anything planned."

"Okay, Sierra, lets talk about this trip. I assume you would be staying with his parents. That's what used to happen when he went down with Patience."

She frowned, confused. "Yes, I think that's the plan."

"Okay, if that's the case, where would you sleep?""

"With Leif, of course," she replied. "What's the problem?"

"The problem is, my love, everybody would know you're sleeping with him."

I could see the penny dropping, like a pinball machine, it hit one hundred. "Reece, I'm not ashamed of our arrangements. I'm proud of what we have."

"Yeah, I suppose you are. That's okay for you. You've got your husband and your live in lover. I'm sure they would all be congratulating you on how clever you are. I, on the other hand, would be the bloody laughing stock. You know damn well what people would say about me. The answer is no."

"You're being ridiculous. Who cares what people say? We know what we have, we have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Whatever, I'd prefer that we keep what goes on in this house to ourselves. I want this to remain our little secret."

I saw her grimace. "Oh my god. You've already bloody told them!"

She blushed a brilliant red. "Only my sister, and Leif's mum."

"Oh, for fucks sake. No wonder she keeps asking me if I'm okay with things. Fucking hell, Sierra."

"I'm sorry, Reece. I never realised you felt that way. As I said, I'm proud of what we have achieved."

After a few minutes silence, she asked, "So will it be okay?"

"No it fucking won't. They might know what's going on, but you're not flashing it in front of everybody."

She sighed softly. "You're being silly, Reece; they already know and nobody cares."

"Bullshit, it explains a lot of uncomfortable conversations. I have been wondering what was going on."

The next day when I got home from work, Sierra seemed quite happy. She greeted me with a warm kiss and cuddle.

It was at the dinner table where I got ambushed. Autumn asked, "Dad, can Mum come with us to Nan's place?"

"Yeah, can she?" first Harmony, and then the boys echoed.

I smiled warmly replying. "No sweetie she can't. We're going to be making the most of having the house to ourself. We have some things planned. Don't worry, Leif will look after you."

Sierra's smile evaporated. I think she expected me to cave. Those kids were pretty hard to say no to.

Leif looked disappointed; I think he, like Sierra, was expecting a different answer. "Mate, you're living in yesteryear. My folks are old hippies, you know that. They lived the free love lifestyle. Sierra's parents, well we all know where they stand on this. They lived on a bloody commune for years. Granted, your parents are pretty straight, but I think they understand this isn't about sex, it's about love."

"Not everybody lives in your world, Leif. Some people actually have morals."

Giving me a dark evil glare, he stormed off leaving the kids wondering what was going on. Sierra took a deep breath, swallowing whatever she was going to offer.

She got over it; the kids dragged her out of her gloom, although there was no way she was sleeping in my bed that night.

That event changed things for me. Up until that point, I had assumed that although there were rumours and gossip, nobody actually knew. To find that Sierra had been telling people enraged me. As far as I knew, the only person who knew about our current arrangements was Julia. It left me feeling embarrassed and even a little betrayed.

Following that, the tension built, but it wasn't gradual, it was an exponential growth. By the end of the week, it exploded. Dinner had been tense. Leif and Sierra, as was their want, went out the back for a joint. Unlike their usual sessions, I heard them talking. Not the actual words, just the raised voices as they discussed something that had them both worked up.

I sank a few beers, watched some TV and tried to detach myself from their drama, I didn't want anything to do with it. I was actually nodding off when they walked back inside.

They sat either side of me on the sofa and Leif, passed me another beer.

"Reece, we want to talk to you. It might be a bit uncomfortable at first, but will you listen to what I have to say, without interrupting?" Sierra said firmly.

"No worries, I'll try to stay wake."

"Don't be smart," She grumbled. "This is serious."

"Okay, you have my undivided attention."

"This relationship is not working. None of us are happy, do you agree?"

"Yes, I've said that many times already." She nodded, but placed her finger tips on my lips, shushing me.

"Good, then listen. Leif and I have discussed it a lot lately. Everything is getting impossible." She gulped down her glass of wine and waved it at Leif, who grabbed and refilled it.

"It's not working because you haven't fully committed to it. You still treat this as two separate relationships. Do you think that's true?"

"Yes, that's absolutely true..." Again, she cut me off.

"We want to change that. We want to move back into the closed, three-way marriage. You, Leif, and me. We commit to each other. We move back into our room and we go back to sharing the same bed."

I chuckled sarcastically. "I'm not doing it, Sierra. We tried it, and I didn't like it. The answer is no. If you don't like bed hopping, just choose one of us and put us all out of our fucking misery."

She sighed deeply. "Christ, you're so closed minded. When did you become like this? You used to be open minded, prepared to try new things."

Feeling like I was never going to win. I stated. "The answer is no, it will always be no. I tried to tell you I hated the three-way thing. It disgusted me.."

She stared at me, her eyes filled with tears. "But if you let go and just tried to enjoy it, you might find that it's just a silly phobia."

I could see the frustration in Sierra's face. "You're not being fair. You used to say you would try anything once. Where's that guy gone?"

"We tried it, and more than once I might add. I hated it. End of story."

That discussion quickly became an argument. Like all the recent fights, it degenerated quickly into name calling and accusations. All it did was make the atmosphere at home colder and more unpalatable.

It wasn't my only problem. My relationship, or lack thereof, with Julia frustrated me. She had cut me out of her life. At work she was always polite, but there were no longer any personal conversations. At the netball, she stood on the other side of the court.

Amy told our girls she wasn't allowed to come for sleepovers anymore, so the girls suffered as well.

I guess my general demeanour was one of unhappiness. It frustrated me. I wanted to just drag her aside and ask what I had done wrong, but I didn't. That wasn't who I was. I just let the frustrations build.

The realisation that Sierra was never again going to be mine brought about its own depressive state. Now I didn't even have Julia's consoling support. I felt quite alone.

I was sick of everything and it all got on top of me. Seeing Sierra and Leif cuddled together watching TV, or doing housework holding hands while she and I fought over something insignificant really hurt.

I let it build inside me until I couldn't hold it in. I waited until we were alone and, in an angry fit of rage, I snapped. "Sierra. It's over. I've had enough."

She stared nervously back at me. I guess she had been expecting this. Lately, our interactions had become business like, polite and courteous, but that's where it ended. We talked, but the intimacy was gone. I knew it was because I had shot down her plans to bring us together.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's over, I promised I would try and I have. It's not working. We fight all the time, the house is so bloody tense. Something has to change."

I could see her heart pounding. "Reece, I offered the solution. Things are tense because Leif and I had expectations. We both feel rejected. You didn't even give it a chance."

"What you offered me was not a solution."

We stood staring at each other. I think she realised I wasn't changing my opinion. "Okay then, what do you mean it's over?"

"This attempt at a shared relationship. It's time to call it quits. If you want our marriage to last then you need to tell Leif you're moving back into our bed permanently. Your sordid affair is finished."

The end of chapter one. Hopefully chapter two, the final part will be posted within a couple of days. It has already been submitted.

Thanks for reading.