All Comments on 'The Long Hot Weekend Pt. 05'

Finally he said he likes his cousin

Enjoyed this part, but it feels a bit different than the previous ones. I like the extra character development in this one, and the way you give more of the MC's backstory with his brother is artful - their past relationship and the brother's personality are made clear through details that are mostly vague, which keeps the chapter's pace (and length) without the jarring interruption of fully fleshed out flashbacks. \\ That said, the encounter with Max was quite a let down. Though the whole chapter (and much of the previous) builds towards it, the passage itself almost feels like an addendum. After all that buildup, the encounter is paid little more attention than the drunken hook-up in the storage closet. It also feels like you've gone back to the style of your earlier stories rather than what you established in the first 4 parts. I'm not sure how to put the difference into words - it's like someone telling you they got laid versus watching it happen. \\ This part is definitely worth more than 4 stars, but I would give it 4.5 instead of 5 if it was an option. Still excited for the rest of the story!

she said "doing this again"? hmm

Just wanted to say thanks for the feedback- both good and bad. All constructive criticism is deeply appreciated and I appreciate the time and thought involved in writing it.