All Comments on 'The Marks Brothers: Prologue'

If you're planning a lengthy series, make sure you get some help to make your rather long and convoluted paragraphs a bit more readable. Shorter sentences and a bit of punctuation will help. This is just a suggestion, not an offer by the way.

Learn the difference between site and sight

Fuck those two idiots neither has a story on record.

You do not need to be a writer to see errors in a story

It's intriguing, and I look forward to more, but some editing would make it better.

Seems short, even for a 'prologue'

I have to agree with the previous comments posted that suggest you should get an editor or proof reader. One Particular thing that I had to reread several times was the reference to the girl next door. If I understand it correctly, you were referring to an actual person who physically lives next door to the Marks family and is a poker player. Giving this girl a 'throw away' name like "Brenda" or "Claire" in addition to stating that she literally lived next door would have helped to clear up the confusion.

-

Good luck with the remainder of the story. I'll check back occasionally and see if you have made any progress. I gave you a 4/5 even though I was really leaning towards a 3.

Okay, I take back everything that I just said. This story was obviously stillborn since you published this one in 2014 and never worked on it further. 🙄

DON'T SUBMIT ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T HAVE AN ACTUAL STORY OUTLINE FOR!!!!

Don't waste the reader's time. I would go back and change my vote to a ONE if I could. 😠 🤬 😡