by velvet passion
Impressive that in the end His love is showing for her. I liked that she trusted Him to guide her. She knew not what the scene would be, yet, trust clearly shown thru. Keep writing, I would love to see this develop further. Good job Velvet Passion. glory
wonderful! You really conveyed the passion of the relationship and the love He felt for her. You did so well. sweet one.
WEll written, the love and trust shows through out the story. Please write more.
HM
Only just a five though, okay. Why? Because it's hot lol.
Okay, constructive criticism follows: When you begin a story, in general, rewrite the beginning three or four times. You might end up back where you started, but that's okay. It will be a better version than that with which you began. Be patient. The 'hook' is important, give it an appropriate amount of attention.
SN
you will contiue the story you have started My slut will watch with interest what you write in the future and let the people know what you mean to me in your stories.
your MASTER
I love your writing velly sweetheart, and i'm sure we are all in agreement that this is simply divine.
Keep up the good work babe.
Keziah
(Rc)
I liked your story. The ending was interesting. However, I got the feeling there was more and the ending cut it short.
txmansi
i hope you continue this masterpiece story....i crave more of this and i am sure everyone else who reads this would love more...so i'll be checking back...