All Comments on 'The Neighbor's Daughter'

Honestly this was just horrible. The plot line was stupid and the scene was too unrealistic to be believable.

How old are you? This is what a high school English student would write. "unloading a current of his seed deep inside her womb." geez Teacher said you need to rewrite.

Not erotic, just rapey

Does she stay and come back for more. How do her Parents react to her growing Belly.

You need a beginning, middle and end, especially an end, for this ‘composition’. Then you need a why for actions, which are believable. Also, your paragraphs should flow and move the reader in a sensible and controlled way throughout the story. Lastly, a rape fantasy is one thing; a rape quite another.

A very concise and short erotic rape fantasy. Even if a few comments reveal their lack of understanding of what "Noncensent/Reluctance" means as a category. Taking the few negative comments as a badge of success is advised by me, from the distortion of mine. It means they were so immersed with the story that their PC trigger was toggled.

Conflict drives tension and is necessary for any story. The stress from the girl's mistake of snooping on her mysterious neighbors, and the man's mistake in overreacting, seems to be released by the end. Therefore, it will be interesting to see what other conflicts you introduce.

Another commenter already mentioned the obvious one. That being a pregnancy for her and how she chooses to react when her mind is less influenced by adrenaline and endorphins. In addition to how her parents react to it, and how the man and his daughter react.

Nevertheless, for the story to be erotic, it is likely the male neighbor will be helpful instead of the source of the conflict as he is in this story, think do I.

For sharing Prana, grateful am I. May the Goddess be allowed to alighten a path towards love, joy, and happiness along the self'determined life'cycle chosen by the higher'self of yours, pray do I.

fast and furious with impregnation at the end.

Anne would feel the inner need to dominate Kelly as her own willing slave, not only with her father but the priceless opportunity to discipline a woman who sneaked into her house which is known as breaking and entering. There will be a chance the pregnancy with her father won't take place but to make Kelly have sex with whomever she decreeds her