The Nerdy Nudist

She turned the light out, and went to the window to gaze out at the night. Imagining herself in some voyeuristic yet beautiful painting, she undressed slowly -- first her skirt, then her tights and panties, then her top. She lingered a bit before removing her bra, for wearing only that always made her feel utterly feminine and she was enjoying that palpable sense immensely, as she had been all evening.

Rosa teased her clit a few times and the feeling was divine, and finally decided it was off with the bra.

Completely nude at last, she stood proudly in the window, half hoping someone down on the lawn would notice her. The adoring looks she'd received had her feeling like she would never know shame again. What she did feel, remembering the hungry looks from guys who normally didn't look at her twice, was adoration. Looks only the cheerleaders had ever gotten in high school, and from the guys only the cheerleaders would date!

Soon Rosa's whole bush was wet to the touch as she rubbed about every which way with her well-practiced fingers, and her heavy breaths were steaming up the window. She closed her eyes and envisioned Sarah's two friends gawking at her -- such a remarkable change from the way they'd looked at her at lunchtime! She'd known the type at a glance, of course, the kind of guys who could've had any girl they wanted from about the seventh grade on, and they knew it. The kind who could flip up a girl's dress and she'd still fawn over them...not a girl like Rosa, of course, but now there'd be no need to flip up her dress -- they knew what was under it and they liked what they saw!

As her stroking became more intense, Rosa just had to lie down. She flopped onto her bed and spread her legs wide, and let her left hand take over on her clit while she slipped two fingers on her right hand into her pussy.

"Oooooooh..." She moaned out loud, not caring in the heat of the wonderful moment if anyone out in the hall heard, and bent her head back so her imaginary lover could kiss and nuzzle her neck to her heart's content. Now they weren't her fingers in her pussy, they were his, as he lay her back on a chintz-adorned waterbed in a spacious room overlooking lush green hills that she was somehow aware of, but wasn't looking at.

She was looking at him. Tall, strapping, already undressed -- no doubt she had torn his clothes off -- as he slowly worked her flowing gown up past her thighs and hips. Stopping to frolic about in her pussy until she was screaming with joy, he took a moment to untie the gown in back, and she felt herself being utterly bared to his hungry eyes and hands, which proceeded to caress her breasts until she was ready to burst with desire.

It was only when she imagined guiding him inside her -- and her own eyes growing wide with pleasure at the welcome sensation -- that she stopped to wonder what he looked like. So many adoring young man to choose from, but she was drawn once again to Sarah's two friends. Not in spite of their rudeness earlier in the day, but because of it -- what a change! Right now she couldn't be sure which of them she was picturing, but it didn't matter. Whichever one he was, the nerd had the beefcake eating out of her hand.

And out of her pussy, as she imagined just then as she brought herself off for the first time. It wasn't to be the last, she didn't even need to tell herself that much as she imagined his tongue tickling her clit in the loveliest way while her fingers continued to do the job for real. Now he was inside her again, humping hard and fast and his eyes growing wide as he came, his body stiff as a board for just a moment before he plopped down into her arms.

Rosa came for real, with a deeply satisfying shiver, and then she curled up under the covers to enjoy the imaginary afterglow. Only now did she have to think about her lover's personality. What would he say in that beautiful moment? Probably something like what Sarah's third friend had told her. It wouldn't really be him, of course -- anyone could see he was the kind of guy who made a wonderful friend, but no one a woman as beautiful as Rosa now felt would ever have to settle for. Maybe he was even gay, the way he'd held up his hand to avoid looking at her body, as if she'd taken all her clothes off in public for nothing! But she hoped his two buddies might learn something from him about how to treat a woman outside of bed, anyway.

Rosa drifted off to sleep, feeling her imaginary lover's arms around her. She'd worry about his real-life personality tomorrow.

James was so drunk when he got back to his dorm, he almost didn't care about the way everything had gone sideways with Sarah. Hadn't she been asking for trouble pursuing Alan anyway? And hadn't he done his best to warn her?

But his mind was really on Rosa. Just what had inspired that?!

"You missed a hell of a show tonight," Tom announced when James stumbled in.

Oh no I didn't," James said with a knowing grin.

"And you didn't go blind?" Tim chimed in. "Of all the people on campus I never wanted to see in the buff..."

"Well, one of them was gorgeous," James said. "But Mark and Alan thought so too."

"So what?" Tim and Tom asked in unison.

"So there go my chances," James said. "It'd be awfully weird anyway, 'Hey, you don't know me, but I've seen you naked and I liked what I saw!'"

"What's wrong with that?" Tom asked. "I mean, if she was naked in public, she ought to expect to be seen by some people she doesn't know."

"True enough. And she was so sweet about the whole thing, too. Adorable. Eh, I don't know. Night, guys."

"Hey, stay up and have some wine!" Tim said.

"I don't see any wine," James said, and even as he said it, he remembered the reply.

"There isn't any!" they all said together. "Hilarious, guys," James went on. "Good old Lewis Carroll, what a riot. But I've got to get some sleep. Got to get started on my history paper tomorrow."

"Fuck, man, you're not in Crewcut's class, are you?" Tim asked.

"No, this is British history with Jan Thomas," James said. "I had intro with Mr. Crofut freshman year. Never again!"

"Good move, man," Tom said. "He's the reason we're out of here, you know? Hasn't he ever heard of a gentleman's D?"

"Gentleman's C, isn't it?" James asked.

"We're not greedy!" Tim said. "I just wish someone had told us what a hard-ass he is."

"Me too," James said, remembering how he'd barely pulled a B-minus in Mr. Crofut's class. "He looks so perfectly wimpy, too, doesn't he?"

"Those chubby cheeks are hard to miss," Tom said.

James laughed. "I know! I always thought he looked just like he'd just eaten a box of crackers, all at once."

Tim burst out laughing. "That's it, man, crackers!"

Tom jumped up. "James, you're a genius. Where's my phone book?"

"What's up?" James asked.

"Crackers!" Tim said. "We've been trying to think of the right kind of prank call to make to that asshole, and you just hit on it, man!"

"Here it is," said Tom, emerging from his room. He went to the phone closet -- rarely used anymore now that everyone had smartphones, but still functional and wonderfully anonymous -- and picked up the receiver. "You want to do it or should I, Tim?" he asked as he dialed the number.

"You go ahead," Tim said.

"Guys, it's past midnight!" James said.

"Precisely." Tom finished dialing and held the receiver up, and Tim and James could only just hear Professor Crofut's sleepy and deceptively gentle "Hello?"

"Have some crackers, pal!" Tom grunted, and hung up the phone before their victim could hear him and Tim laughing uproariously.

Sarah was almost glad to be hung over the next morning. At least something hurt more than her heart did. By lunchtime her headache was gone, but she wasn't at all sure she'd be able to remain civil with Rosa. She loved Rosa dearly, but of all the friends who might steal Alan's affections away from her...but a date was a date, and she still wanted to know exactly what her friend had been thinking last night.

"What was I thinking?" Rosa repeated the question as if the answer were written on her forehead. "We were all thinking, Sarah, that the whole school considers us a bunch of freaks already. We just wanted to show them we were all just like them underneath."

"Well, not just like everyone else," Sarah couldn't resist. "You made quite an impression on my friends, you know."

"The same friends who'd openly treated me like a freak at lunch yesterday?" Rosa didn't want to give too much away just yet.

"I told you I was sorry."

"Did you?" Rosa asked. "Doesn't matter, anyway. You're not the one who insulted me. What are their names, anyway?"

"The nice one is James. Don't get any ideas, though. Last night, Mark and Alan told me they're pretty sure he's gay but maybe not out to himself. Which made perfect sense to me once they pointed it out. He always has been the kind of guy who seems to think he should've been a girl, or at least other guys think that about him."

"I thought of that, since he tried to avoid seeing my body," Rosa said. "But I really meant the other two."

"You did?!"

"Why should that be so surprising? Oh, you wouldn't understand, Sarah. I've heard enough of your stories of high school to know how well-adjusted you were. You don't know what it's like to sit at the losers' table and to wish just once that one of the popular guys would look your way. Well, last night, they did!"

"Yeah, I guess Mark and Alan were probably among the popular guys," admitted Sarah, though she knew nothing of their lives before Claxton (or, she reminded herself ruefully, not a whole lot about their lives at Claxton!). "But Rosa, you know how guys like that treated the girls they dated in high school?"

"Yes, but this isn't high school, is it?" Rosa asked. "They're older now."

"A little," Sarah admitted. "Oh, who am I kidding, I have a thing for guys like that, too. But I'm not about to tear my clothes off to get one!"

"Your loss!" Rosa said with a fearless laugh. "Sarah, you have no idea how liberating that was. And the bonding with the others...oh, it was beautiful, really."

"If you say so. I don't get it, Rosa, but if you're happy with yourself, good for you."

"I am," Rosa said. "Now, Alan and Mark, which one of them is the taller one with the curly hair?"

"Why?" Sarah held out one last hope that she was asking about Alan because she wanted to avoid him.

No such luck. "I want to ask him to Spring Forward," Rosa said. She let out a girlish giggle. "I've never asked a guy out before, but after last night I'm feeling a lot more empowered." She opened her backpack and pulled out a letter she'd written on the same fancy stationery Sarah recalled from freshman year. She had to be kidding!

"You want to ask him out by a written invitation?" Sarah said. "This isn't a Jane Austen novel, Rosa!"

"I was just thinking, it might be a little awkward, since he's seen me naked," Rosa said. "Besides, it's a romantic gesture. If he doesn't like it, he's probably not right for me anyway. Now, which one is he? Mark or Alan?"

It took every ounce of resolve Sarah had to keep from lying to her old friend. Somehow she just couldn't do that. "Alan," she said. "It's Alan. But I'm warning you, Rosa, he's immature and chauvinistic and --"

"And he looked at me like I was a goddess last night," Rosa said. "I liked it, all right? Besides, it's only one date."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," Sarah said, though at that moment she wasn't at all sure about that.

"Let me worry about that," Rosa said. Sarah saw she had already written "Dear" with a space on the letter; now she set about to write "Alan" after it.

But Sarah grabbed at her hand. "Don't write his name," she said. "Alan has a big ego, he'll respond better if you puff him up. Put 'Dear Beefcake," or something like that."

"Beefcake?" Rosa was doubtful. "Isn't that a little...goofy?"

"He's seen you wearing cowboy boots and nothing else, Rosa. Goofy is okay."

Rosa laughed. "Eh, you're right. Dear Beefcake..." She folded the letter and drew an envelope out of her backpack, and sealed it. "Sarah, can I ask you for a favor?" She pushed the envelope across the table. "You're friends with Alan, can you give this to him?"

Sarah remembered last night's thought about April Fool's. She could give it to Alan, all right, but since it didn't have his real name on it, she could also give it to Mark. With a conciliatory smile she picked up the envelope. "All right, Rosa, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Thanks." Rosa sounded almost absent-minded now, as her attention had been drawn to a sign taped to the table under the salt and pepper shakers. "Oh my God, Sarah, did you read this?"

Sarah looked over and read the sign. Whoever is putting milk in the salt shakers, STOP IT. It is not funny and YOU have ruined someone's meals.

Both women laughed in spite of themselves. "Okay, it isn't funny," Sarah said, "But it kind of is."

"I wonder who's doing it?" Rosa said.

"I have a pretty good idea," Sarah said. "These two guys on Alan's floor...well, I'll ask them after lunch when I drop this off."

"Sarah, thank you." Rosa's smile was so genuine and grateful that Sarah reconsidered her plan.

She reconsidered it, but she wasn't dissuaded. Not there at the lunch table, and not ten minutes later when Rosa hugged her goodbye outside Alan and James' dorm. "Thanks again, Sarah," she said. "I owe you one. Oh, have you got a date yet?"

Sarah shook her head. "Don't worry about me," she said. "Bye."

"Bye!" Rosa resumed her walk up the path. Just as she was walking past Camden Hall, the door opened and who should emerge but Sarah's third friend. James, the too-polite and probably-gay one. He smiled hello, and Rosa burst into laughter and turned away.

"Hey," James said.

Rosa only laughed harder and hoped her face wasn't turning red. It probably was.

"Hey, listen, I just wanted to tell you again how much I admire you," James said from behind her.

It wouldn't do to be rude, so Rosa looked over her shoulder. "Thanks!" she said. "You're sweet."

"I also wanted to apologize for how my buddies treated you yesterday."

"Thanks." This time Rosa didn't look back. "I'll see you later?"

"Not like I saw you before, I guess, but yeah." James chuckled.

Sarah laughed harder to keep from bursting with embarrassment -- how many other guys would now be treating her like a best friend when she barely even knew their names? -- and didn't look back.

James took the hint, and turned back to head for the library.

As she knocked on Alan's door, Sarah was still groping for an excuse for being there when she wasn't going to give him the invitation. She even thought of asking him to the dance herself, but then she recalled his heart was now set on Rosa.

Fortunately, he didn't answer his door. Figuring her mission was accomplished -- Rosa had seen her off, after all -- she turned her attention to Tom and Tim, who were working on yet another dirty song on their guitars. "Say, guys," she asked, leaning against the stairway doorjamb, "Did you guys do the saltshakers?"

"Do the saltshakers?" Tom asked.

"Is that a hot new dance?" Tim added, and he started strumming power chords. "Do the saltshaker! Saltshaker! Burn it up with your moneymaker!"

Sarah laughed. It felt good. Maybe she ought to ask one or both of them to the dance? But she didn't. Instead she explained, "There was this sign in the dining hall, 'Whoever is putting milk in the saltshakers, stop it! It is not funny and you have ruined someone's meals!'"

"Someone's meals?" Tom asked. "Plural?"

"There's some real Claxton brain power there," Tim said. "What did they expect to happen the second time?" He held up his hand like an imaginary saltshaker. "Well, here's my fresh meal, I still want some salt...gosh darnit, it happened again? How'd that happen?!" He and Tom both laughed so hard they had to lie down. Were they drunk at one o'clock in the afternoon?

"No, it isn't ours," Tom said. "But we're totally gonna use that!"

Holly Warner, a sophomore from Alan and James' end of the floor, had overheard the exchange. "Did you mean was the sign theirs or were they the ones putting milk in the saltshakers?" she asked Sarah.

"The sign," Sarah said. "But now that you mention it..."

Holly looked over at the pair, who were finally regaining their composure. "I guess if you've got to flame out..."

"I'm almost jealous," Sarah admitted.

She knocked on James' door, thinking she might be able to pump him for information about Alan. He wasn't home, so she left a note on his dry-erase board and turned to go. "So long, Tom," she said, as Tim was busy in the phone closet.

Tom sang, "Goodbye!" and played a blues riff on his guitar, and Sarah stepped out into the stairwell just in time to hear Tim's own sendoff from the phone closet: "Have some crackers, pal!"

Rosa spent about half an hour at her desk before she concluded that she'd never be able to concentrate there for now. She was just feeling too restless, with her invitation to Alan outstanding. Though acutely aware that she'd be getting a lot more looks like she'd just gotten from James, Rosa packed up her backpack and set off for the student union.

She did get a few funny looks on the way, sometimes from people she didn't recall seeing last night, but she still felt more empowered than embarrassed as she stepped into the union. The older, hard-of-hearing woman at the counter certainly hadn't seen her last night, so Rosa was comfortable as she ordered a coffee and a bagel, remembering not to say "please" as the poor lady tended to mistake that for "cheese". She did not want cheese on her bagel!

Rosa had only been squared away in her favorite booth, munching and practicing Spanish verb tenses, for five minutes or so before she was aware of someone standing over her. "Hello there," he said.

Rosa looked up, and felt her heart in her throat -- it was Alan! "Well, hello!" she said, managing a smile through her embarrassment. "How are you?"

"Wonderful, thanks, and thanks for the show last night. You were beautiful, you know." He helped himself to the seat across the table, with that confidence-cum-arrogance Rosa had always known in guys like him. "I hope it's okay to say that."

"Of course it's okay, and thanks!" Rosa said. "It's such an odd feeling, knowing half the campus has seen me naked, but it's...fun. Delicious, almost!"

"I like your attitude, Rosa," Alan said. "And your body, if I'm brutally honest."

"I'm glad you are!" Rosa felt the first telltale hints of dampness in her panties. But what about her invitation? "So..."

"So indeed. Rosa, I shouldn't beat around the bush. Especially not a beautiful and magnificent bush like yours. Would you go to Spring Forward with me?"

"Well..." Rosa was confused -- had he received her invitation or not? It hadn't been long, but she had seen Sarah go into his dorm...oh, it didn't matter. If he hadn't, they would just have a good laugh about it later. If he had, well, he was a guy, he just had to be the one to ask! "Yes, Alan, I'd love to!"

"Great!" Alan stood back up, and leaned over Rosa to kiss her. She presented her cheek, and felt sparks when his lips touched it. "We're having a pre-dance party on my floor, with Sarah and the guys. I'll give you all the details when I've got them, all right?"

"Yes, please!" Rosa said. Must thank Sarah profusely, she reminded herself.

At that very moment, though, Sarah was at Mark's door. Since James and Alan weren't home, Sarah had a feeling they'd all be out together somewhere -- maybe in town for lunch? But to her surprise, Mark answered the door. "Hi, Sarah," he said. "How's the hangover?"

"Surprisingly good," she said. "And yours?"