The Offer

Nine times time during the next three months, Jenny told me she was meeting Gerald. Each time it was after midnight before she returned and crept into bed. Each time I cried a bit more. Once each month Jenny told me she was meeting Gerald on Friday evening straight after work, and not to expect her home till Saturday. The first time I thought she meant some time Saturday morning. In fact, it was late Saturday evening before she returned.

As soon as the front door closed I asked her why she hadn't phoned to tell me not to expect her till now.

'I told you I wouldn't be home till late on Saturday.'

'No, you didn't,' I replied with certainty.

'Ok, well then, I'm sorry if I didn't.' I got the feeling she didn't care if she had or not.

I'd felt dreadful every time she was with him. Every time she returned I wanted some comfort, some care, some love from my wife. Instead, she told me she was tired and was going to have a shower and get into bed. By the end of the third month, I knew that I was no longer the most important person in my wife's life.

When she was home we communicated almost as we used to. I took her out for a meal at least twice each month. Bought her flowers and chocolates, even her favourite perfume when I noticed her bottle was nearly empty. I don't know why. Old habits I Suppose, or just a hope that by showing my love for her I could save our slowly failing marriage.

We slept together and had sex, but it was never like it used to be, not even like it was when she first returned from America. Gerald was changing her, she even felt different.'

Our marriage lasted another three months. Each month, Jenny spent several evenings, and some days I suspected but didn't know about, with him. Four times she didn't come home until late Saturday evening.

It ended in the fourth week of the third month when she told me they were going away together for a long weekend.

'Have you forgotten what I told you would happen if you spent more than one consecutive night with him?'

'No, Darling, but that was a long time ago and you haven't minded me spending nights with him.' She sidled up to me. She'd done that before when she'd wanted something expensive from me. 'It's just a few days, Darling, please.'

This time it wasn't for something expensive, it was for something much more personal to me than that. It was for my permission to have a blatant, outright affair. There were other reasons I was going to refuse her. Although we still had sex we never made love anymore. Perhaps she had forgotten that as well, but I hadn't.

I took a moment to consider. It wouldn't be easy divorcing her. All my hopes and expectations, gone forever. But, I could not make love to Jenny anymore, knowing that every time she was remembering her last time with Gerald. My love for her was still there, but. And it was a big but. I could not share her with him anymore.

I couldn't blame her, I never had. I now knew her time with Joshua Harrington had already sealed our fate, even before I asked her to help me find a black man to fucking her while I watched. For that, I could only blame myself, and I often did. But that was my burden to bear in the failure of our marriage.

'No, Jenny, I will not allow you to spend a long weekend with Gerald.'

Jenny went, anyway and never returned. Perhaps, because my wife no longer wanted to share me with Gerald.