All Comments on 'The Old and New I Ch. 03:Firsts'

I almost lost hope that I would never get to read one of these again. I hope that you continue to write more in spite of your personal life. I do hope you regain what you lost, but to be honest once something is truly lost it can never be given back. So if anything...say fuck it and move forward. That's just me being personal and shit. Story wise I kinda like the intro because I everyone has those days, but I personally couldn't empathize since my response wouldn't be to text Laurel, it would be to get my ass up. I love everything about both your characters. But I am looking out for a teacher and doctor. People who can professionally help and check-up on her and also do some rather unprofessional things. I personally don't care for gender if you do decide to bring anyone else in. As I said before, I hope she doesn't get better in terms of holding her orgasm. Like at all. If anything, make her shoot faster. Like cum in her skirt when she sees Laurel in the shower. Also I love that moment when Laurel came in and Esther got hard when she was snuggling on Laurel's shoulder. I got a good laugh at that. So I hope more humor is added. I also like your story progression and pace of story. In terms of chapters and reading this all in one go it feels pretty good, albeit it feels like we missed a week or more because this chapter has her so down so suddenly. I hope you consider all the ideas I've given before and I got some more in the next comment because this one is too long.

Since we've address her problem in holding herself back from firing like the fourth of July, I think she would now choose to work on it. The embarrassment and feeling of failure is a lot. So she is either going to ask Laurel to help her, go train herself and use Google to find ways to hold it in, or go to a pharmacist or doctor and say her boyfriend has her problem and if there is any way to help him ( you know, lie to someone for some over the counter drugs that help her performance (if any exist, but since we're in story world you can create a drug and have it called something embarrassing like durulast).

If you choose to have Laurel help her then I suggest scenes where Laurel is kind and patient, but gradually starts that dominant and submissive relationship. Like she is jacking Esther off and at first she is encouraging her to last, but either between Esther still firing early or her having to stop the handjob because Esther is gonna blow she starts making fun of her and starts to either deny Esther her orgasm or jack Esther until she is at the edge and ruin Esther orgasm by telling Esther to come but stopping all stimulation while she encourages her to blow while Esther is sat there frustrated and her orgasm is ruined. Though the point of having of choosing to have Laurel help her is to further their relationship and Esther to find comfort. If you choose this and want more ideas then just ask me, but now I'll give more specific examples of the other two ideas.

For Esther to work on herself and try to find the answer to her problem by consulting the power of Google is going to be funny and embarrassing. She can research, watch porn and edge her orgasm, walk around the room naked with a boner, practice meditation by having thoughts of laurel and trying not to blow, mess with her own ass and pussy, start reading erotic stories from certain websites (hint hint, cough cough, nudge nudge). She can do all kinds of weird, kinky, and funny stuff by following the advice of the internet. Like stop wearing bras and panties so she gets use to stimulation. The point of her doing this is for her come out of her shell and explore her body. Be proud of what she's got in order to move on with her life. Again if you want more of this idea just ask, but now examples of my last idea.

For her to lie so she can get professional advice or over the counter drugs is going to be dramatic and heart pounding. But I would have it so that when she tries to go over the pharmacy she meets either a guy who has her problem and she finds out and together they become friends in order to solve the problem or she meets a girl who has an actual boyfriend and now Esther has someone to talk about relationships and how to improve things in the bed. The point of this idea is just to introduce more characters if you want to. I want Esther to prosper, but I don't want her to improve her time in holding off her orgasm. I want her to struggle and learn new ways to deal with the situation and accept that she can't have it all. That she is going to accept that she has a dick, that society is not too keen her, that she is a premature ejaculator and that being all of these things is all right. It's a period of clarity and she has to deal with the way she is and accept that she can't last long. So please don't have her improve, instead have her overcome and accept the fact that she blows in two seconds. I feel as if this will keep her unique as character and help her grow as a person. So why not let her problem be? After all, we're not perfect.

I know I've said a lot, but this it. I'll shut up after this unless you want some more. I hope and pray you have more scenes were Esther has some difficult or embarrassment about sticking her dick inside Laurel. I mean she is obviously going to get better at putting her dick in, but I love those embarrassing moments and hope you show slow progression of her learning how to get better at it. This could be a gateway for her to learn the tricks of the bedroom and what she should and should not do. I hope you keep these moments for a while because it just makes the story seem more real. Also I don't know what RPing, but I'll probably Google that later and find out.

At this point I'm just going to run my mouth off. Expect random comments until you update the next chapter. I just gotta say that the scene where Laurel was wrapping her legs around Esther and grabbing her ass was just perfect. I hope they repeat that position and add more, especially the legs and ass grabbing. So to throw some ideas out there how about them shaving each other? That's usually hot.

The next chapter is pretty much set in stone and the one after that too. I'm intending to introduce another character whose a little more aggressive than Laurel. However, I'll have to think about them for later. About Esther's decision: it's probably my own fault for not going into more detail or looking deeper into her past, but she's not a very strong or confident person and has had more than one of these days and probably to a greater extent than most. She pretty deep in her depression and she believes asking for help would diminish what little pride she feels she has left. Because of this, she's allowed for a sense of total hopelessness to constrict her life, making days like these antagonizing experience she dreads to even live through as her motivation, confidence, and hope suffer with each day like it.

The condom moment. That would of been great here. Going to the store. Getting lost looking for the condoms until she finds them. Embarrassingly picking out the right size and hoping she is adequate for Laurel. Embarrassingly buying the condoms. Embarrassingly putting on the condom in front of Laurel or in the bathroom if she is too shy. Laurel or herself realizing she put the condom on the wrong side and have to use several in order to get it right. Looking at her dick with the condom. Stroking her dick with the condom on. Realizing she should of lubed up her dick before putting on the condom. Embarrassingly taking of the condom and asking Laurel for a blowjob so her dick isn't so dry (or Laurel makes her spit on her own dick) and putting on another condom. Cumming too early and have to embarrassingly take off the condom and put a new one on for each time she blows. The condom moment would be just great for this story. God I hope you do it.

I can't wait for you to tackle the premature ejaculation hurdle, but I'm more than willing to wait as long as you give more chapters. I hope you consider keeping Esther with all her quirks and problems and go for acceptance rather than improving her time. But it is your story so do with it as you will. I'll enjoy it either way and I'll still throw ideas at you faster than you can read. Finally, for the roleplaying, what exactly did you have in mind?

I'm glad you liked it. Esther will be improving herself as time goes on, but she will have a mentor at some point. I will leave it at that.

So RPing, what I mean is roleplaying in the sense that two people write a story together, one person writing as either a single character or a group as they create a story. For instance, if you wanted to try out your ideas, you could have one person be the Futanari/transgender submissive while you were their more dominate partner, or visa versa.

This one's a little different. I've met someone who has changed my life. I apologize, but Esther's story may change or be slowed as a result. I've fallen in love with a wonderful young lady over the last few weeks. Much to my fortune, she loves me too. I may start a new series later if I have the time, but I'm trying to focus on her as much as I can. She's been neglected and treated like trash too much. I'm gonna change that.

Thanks for the support and suggestions and questions! Keep me coming!

Just been waiting. Any idea when you gonna post?

This time of year is always intense. With some rising financial issues, things seem to be getting worse. I'm hoping by January I'll have the next chapter out. These last few weeks have been very stressful.

I didn't mean to but I guess that was my break from writing. I mean I haven't written much of anything in a few months but I'm getting back in the swing of things. I've resumed my work on the fourth chapter. Sorry I haven't checked in recently. Been busy and stressed.