All Comments on 'The Perfect Alpha Ch. 06'

It's kind of an interesting story, but by making your MC "all powerful" you've effectively removed any jeopardy, any stakes for her personally beyond, losing those she cares about. In effect you've created the "mary sue" who only has to look inside and feel her own power to realise how much more than everyone else she is. She's done nothing to work for and strive for her power, she's simply awesome because she is and for that reason, I can't give you more than 3 stars, sorry.

Getting very interesting, keep up the great work.

A 'mary sue' all-powerful faces moral difficulties.

How will one relate to others, in a community?

How will one's relationships form and work?

If your character is only about having personal power, then the James Duncan comment is right. But if your character has to engage with other characters, and has to engage with communal goals and moral problems, I think the James Duncan comment will prove to be too limited. I had a similar feeling with the Bujold fantasies of the Sharing Knife - and in the end satisfaction with how the relationship between those with special powers and the rest of the community, and with moral problems, worked out.

Figures that her mate is human. Lol.

Am looking forward to reading lesbian sex in the future.

Your superwere is going to need some kind of kryptonite otherwise there is no drama if nobody and nothing can stop her at any time its not as thrilling.

She is Superman without the kryptonite and the only weakness is the people around her. Yet here I am, on chapter six reading away on the short chapters.

In response to the comments, she will be used to find the head of the snake and will go through many battles, of course she won’t die! For those who complain of her being invincible, please tell remember you are reading fantasy. Lol. Even though she won’t be killed, there are plenty obstacles for her to overcome. Keep writing and make it exciting. Lol

The story is shaping up extremely well, I’d agree with the comment from LeakyFaucit re a virtually invincible hero with no known (at present) weaknesses, there’s no jeopardy whatsoever, that is unless the CIA - or whoever is purporting to be, starts using family, friends etc as blackmail tools, a Lycan variation of the “Human shield”. Fingers crossed @TorieArcana has a story arc roughed out to allow for this, it’s reminiscent of PartWolf’s “Alpha Killer”, I’m really hoping it’s just as, or even better. Fingers crossed!

Many thanks for both writing and posting, cheers, Ppfzz. 5⭐️