The Perfect Beginning

She found herself at once acting and reacting very naturally and fluidly while attempting to maintain a high level of self awareness and objective perception.  She was constantly monitoring and measuring Tim's reactions and she was most pleased with what he revealed of himself. He was so obvious to her and she positively loved that. 

What an advantage!

She loved where they were going and had no idea how far they could go together. 

Where's the edge?

She already new that if her ploy failed, she'd bide her time and reposition herself as his confidant when the time was right. 

He's so needy. 

She already knew that if it came to it, she'd regain the advantage when his anger had subsided and he did not feel he needed to defend his honor and once more he was sufficiently weak. 

I'm taking your power!  That's right, give it to me. Part of you likes giving it to me and I think we both know that. 

And she liked that she viewed him as weak.  First, there was something adorable about it; in Tim anyway.  Secondly, she admired herself for possessing the insight to see it in the boy and the courage to take advantage of the situation.  Michele felt opportunity and knew that:

...doers do. 

Inwardly she smiled as she knew she was two or three steps ahead of little Timmy, as she was not beginning to think of him as.

She felt like a predator and she was stalking her prey and the thought was sexy to her. It made her feel kind of slinky.  She was nipping at him, playing with her food. 

She saw herself as the cat who'd captured the traumatized mouse.  She knew she was exhausting him and then letting him go... only to pounce on him again, and again and again. 

She appreciated how joyfully fun it was but also knew there was some psychological conditioning that was taking place.

Tim immediately felt the rug pulled out from under him and flailed desperately for purchase.  He was surprised to realize that Michele's council meant way more to him than he had known and he did not want to blow it.  And he knew she did not deserve attitude.  "I'm sorry, Michele.  Please...  That was not cool."

Internally, Michele smiled hugely.  She liked having Tim apologize to her and she liked his desperate reaction to her pulling away even more, yet she maintained the look of authoritarian displeasure on her pretty young face. 

Among her friends, Michele was used to being the "adult" in the room.  Yet that was with girls her age.  She was establishing this status for herself with a boy approaching "adulthood" who was somewhere near to 50 or perhaps 60 years older than her. 

It still felt natural, but way better!  It was exhilarating. With arms crossed and a stern bearing, "I'm trying to help you, Timmy, but I won't tolerate any sass mouth or bitchy whining.  If you want my help, then ask nicely for it."

"I'm sorry, Michele.  Would you please help me?  It really means a lot to me."

Yes, yes, yes!  Get down.  Get down beneath me.  Get comfy there. 

"Well okay, that's better, but honestly, Timothy, you need to show more gratitude...more respect.  After all, I'm only trying to help you."  

"I know, I'm sorry.  I'll be good."  

I'll be good.

Tim considered his own words:

That's what little boys say! 

Though it was shameful to Tim to put this sort of contrition on display, there was also something familiar and strangely comforting about it.  He'd been doing it in a less obvious and openly considered way, at least occasionally with Tiffany, for two years. 

Michele's ascendance, at least as far as this interaction, as Tim's confidant, was not lost on him.  As long as it was just this sliver of their relationship, Tim accepted that she was now the adult in the relationship.  He had nothing to worry about, he was still the much older babysitter to his much younger charge.  He knew, at the least, he'd always have that to balance out this single indignity.

'I'll be good'...oh my god!  Yes, beneath me! 

And Michele was acutely aware now that she had a hook in Tim, he needed her.  And from her side of it, dependance had quite a nice feel. 

I'm in him.  I'm in him and I'm taking control! 

She let her good mood show, "That's better.  Let's try this again: You are embarrassed, aren't you?"  Now Michele was feeling impatient and greedy for his compliance.

"Yes," this time louder, but softer.  She liked that.  

It was clear to Tim that Michele was being a little hard on him, but he knew there was no way he was going to ruin his only chance to speak with someone about all this stuff.  And as much as it hurt, he knew everything she said was true so:

I probably deserve it.

He thought, in the back of his mind, that his relationship with Tiff might not have been the best thing for him and Michele knew he just needed some strong medicine. 

She'd impressed him with all she'd learned from women's magazines and clearly established herself as an authority on such matters.  Michele just wanted to help him.  And it hurt, hurt badly, but he admired Michele for it. She wasn't just strong, she seemed so insightful, like she really just got it. 

And it was really weird to think of it this way, but he found he respected her strength and insight.

She's helping me grow emotionally. 

He knew that was expected of adults so all of this might be a very important step for him to take.

"Well good, because you should be."  Smiling with the thrill of it all, "Oh my god, I couldn't even imagine putting up with what you can't get enough of.  I'm nothing like you," she said with a laugh, helping Tim to understand that though she supported him, his status was sinking in her eyes.  She wanted to put it out there that she was above him.

Does she mean 'good' because it is a natural response to my situation, or 'good' because it makes her happy?  

"I mean, you totally kissed her ass.  It was a good thing because it showed how much you loved her...as long as she'd let you." 

He felt his anger welling again but willed it aside.  He had to find the strength to embrace what Michele was saying.  He instead listened for and to the truth in her words and felt the weight of all his shame with cute, little Michele calling him an ass kisser. 

God, I did totally kiss her ass, as long as she let me. 

He felt weighted down.  He could sublimate it when only he knew, but now:

...so does Michele and she's right.  At least she thinks it's a good thing, that it was how I showed I loved her. 

And this was how Michele helped him make the link between submission, shame and love.  The message he took from Michele was that this was all for the best.

"God, in relationships, we're like opposites.

"Well it was good while it lasted but now you should like totally embrace all that embarrassment.  Good bye love and hello shame," she said giggling.  Her eyes and brilliant smile seared him like a branding iron, "Shame on you," she announced with a radiant smile.  "You get to feel all the shame of knowing you weren't good enough. Yay!"

She felt herself hovering inches off the ground with the emotional high she was on.

For Tim, it was so disorienting to hear those words delivered with such happiness. 

As though talking to a baby, "We just want to get you over that mean, mean, bully girl."  And as Michele's words "consoled", her baby-voice, smiles, giggles and outright mocking laughter served as salt, rubbed into his emotional wounds.

Bully girl.  This term resonated with Tim. 

Was I?  Was I really bullied by a girl? 

It was not as though he put up with a lot from Tiff, but there were certainly times when he should have stood up to her but didn't. 

Oh my god, I did!  I got bullied...a little. At least sometimes.

He was so wrapped up in his red faced shame, he was unaware of his erection. He was in her gravity and he was responding as a boy should when in the presence of a superior girl for whom he had developing feelings.

Michele got down in his line of sight and locked eyes with him and as though consoling a small boy she'd found crying on the curb, "Ahhhh, don't be sad, I really like that you remind me of a Kimberly."

"Really?" Tim asked, surprised, confused and not a little heartened.  He loved her proximity; it was so intimate and comforting.  He felt so much warmth coming from Michele. 

She really is very pretty.

"Oh yes, it just shows you are emotionally sensitive and vulnerable.  I think it's cute.  And I totally love the way you showed her how much she meant to you.  Some girls really like that."

"You liked that I...that I..."

"Got down on your knees and kissed her ass?" It was such a joyous thrill to say something so over the line, she was grateful not to sound out of breath such was the joyous exhilaration.  "Yes, totally.  It's good when guys show their feelings and express emotion. It's the best way to show a strong girl."

Michele likes the way I was with Tiff.  Guys showing love is good!  It's how I was good.

He managed to exclude the term ass kisser from his internal dialogue, yet it was noted.  Tim was suddenly shocked and so excited to hear Michele say he was cute.  And then Tim did not feel quite as bad.  

In the time to come, this little dynamic would play out again hundreds of times between the two.  Michele would break him down emotionally and then lift him back up.  In this way, he came to need Michele's emotional nourishment. 

Initially, she didn't consciously realize it as she was just doing what came naturally to her, but in this way Michele established herself as the source of Tim's spiritual validation. 

As this dynamic took root, twining deeper and deeper into Tim's psyche, it became a fundamental source of authentic power over him.  Michele was becoming the principal source of validation in the young man's life.  Michele came to control the levers of his self worth.  

This vulnerability, weakness and lack of self awareness is what allowed one person to gain fundamental and profound control over another.

Michele could feel it, it was undeniable.  She was beating him.  She was winning.  Tim was falling to her.  

*

Looking Tim right in the eye, and with the sexiest predatory smile, she said slowly, "I wonder what she could make you do?"

Oh my, this is play time.

"What do you mean?"

Suddenly lighthearted, "I mean exactly what I said: what could she make you do?  Like if she were here right now and said, if you do this or that, I might think about getting back with you.  What would you be willing to do for her?  Think like your inner Kimberly! Stop questioning it. Like, just go with it."  

Tim's heart leapt at the idea and it was one that'd crossed his mind in his hour of despair.  Realizing his excitement:

Are those my Kimberly feelings? 

It was a fine thought to have as long as one did not dwell on it, and to consider it now with Michele made him shake a little.  Not eager to have this conversation, "I...I don't know."

"It's okay you know, it's just...what's that word, hypa..."

"Hypothetical?"

"Yes!  Hypothetical.  I mean, she's not really here and you're safe with me.  You are always safe with me," she said with warmth and seriousness.

Tim was eager to receive all of Michele's warmth and support.  He could not believe just how much he needed her comfort.

On the face of it, it was absurd.  It was as though the beautiful mermaid was beckoning him into the shark infested waters.  "Come on in, the water's amazing." with the call of her beautiful allure and the assurance of her enticing proximity, he wanted to jump in. 

And too, there was a familiarity in this.  It was not exactly like with Tiffany but there was something familiar about it.  Michele was so much more direct about who she was and how she interacted with him.  It was way more dangerous with her because it was out in the open. 

He stood on the rocks and actually wanted to jump in so he could be next to her, to be with her.  And there was an excitement that came with the question of whether or not she'd keep him safe from all the sharks.  Would she protect him?  This was so incredibly dangerous and gave him an extremely intense, secret thrill.  

"Would you kiss her feet?"

"No!" Tim said defensively.

"Ah ha ha, I think you would!" she exclaimed with a laugh and a teasing voice.  "Come on, admit it.  It's okay, you can tell me," she said in an encouraging and conspiratorial tone, all the while smiling with happy, happy knowledge.  

"I wouldn't," he said quietly looking away.  He did not want her to see that behind his 'no' lurked a great, big, painful, yes I would.

Gently, "It's alright, Timmy," implying she already knew the truth, "it's just you and me here.  I mean you loved her didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well then why wouldn't you?" asked as though it were the most normal expectation in the world.  "It would be totally natural to a boy like you and maybe the most healthy thing you could do.  Any girl would love to know that you would do it for her, even if she didn't want you back.  Then she knows how special you think she is." 

This confused Tim a little. 

"I'd have totally made you.  I mean...not in a bad way, but just so you could show me how much you loved me," she said smiling at the shaken boy.  "Come on, you would, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Tim whispered, not sure what he was saying yes to and doing so just as he realized a near painful throbbing in his crotch.  In his mind and he'd only allow himself to hold the thought for an instant, it was not Tiffany's feet he was kissing.

"Good boy," Michele laughed razor blades at him. 

Now we are really getting somewhere! Doers do!

He wore an awkward, pained smile as he tried to project the image of a good sport.  His crotch seemed to throb painfully in time with Michele's giggles. 

At least I have Michele.  

With shame was gratitude.

"Maybe we'll play this game again Tomorrow.  I think it's good for you."

Several times, when Tim was not looking down in shame, she caught him checking her out and it made her feel absolutely buoyant.  Michele knew then that this was turning into something else again. 

Might be liking me!

She excused herself to go put on her "commfies", the clothes she normally wore around the house.  As she changed, Michele marveled at how much things had changed in three days.  Now Michele loved having a "babysitter."  

*

Months previous, Michele found an old storage box containing many of her old cloths, things she wore when she was an actual girl. She was filled with a sense of excited nostalgia when she'd discovered clothing she almost forgot she'd owned. In her 120s, she still dressed appropriately as a girl, but this stuff was so little-girly and she was delighted by it.

She was a generally small so she knew she could just fit into the stretch cotton pajamas and stretch sweat pants. She adored the little girl cartoon graphics on it all and it made her feel so cute.

*

Tim's eyes almost dropped out of their sockets when Michele returned to the kitchen where they were talking.  She'd put on the My Little Horsey pajamas her mother bought for her when she was eight.  They were pink and made of a stretchy, knit cotton material.  They were rendered down right skimpy on Michele's developed body; but what made them obscene was their relative fit to her body with what was once intended as a very innocently themed little girl set of PJs.  They were essentially a second skin.  

Michele had muscular legs and he could not take his eyes off her taut but very well rounded, bubble-bottom.  Simply put, her ass was beyond spectacular and in his mind, set a new standard for what all girls and women should want for themselves.

His mouth literally watered and he almost drooled.

And one day, some lucky guy. Oh my god!

Her top showed off her small breasts and hard nipples almost as though she wore no top at all. 

"I hope you don't mind, but this is what I usually wear around the house when I'm alone or with my mom.  At least while it's warm.  And now that you are going to be here all the time, it's like you are part of the family.  Kind of like my sister... I'm just kidding." 

Michele laughed as Tim felt his masculinity assaulted once more.  He was getting used to it and accepted it passively.  He knew Michele was just playful and he actually complimented himself for being a good sport about it.  He told himself that she just had a really active sense of humor.

"I, uh...n...n...no, it's totally cool."  Tim tried to sound nonchalant but sounded foolish.  

Michele was glad she'd made him stutter.  She took delight in showing off her body and "unselfconsciously" posing for him.

Michele could not believe how good she felt.  She was hyper aware of the situation, the energy, what was said and how it was said. She was never more aware of what it meant to be living in the moment. 

It was strange she thought because part of her felt like a woman.  She felt extremely sexual and amazingly powerful.  Speaking this way to Tim, crushing his ego did turn her on.  His emotional and physical responsiveness did this to her; he was becoming more and more passive and she was all but certain that he was at least as aroused as she was. 

She liked that he was paying a lot of attention to her. 

He seems like he might be into me. 

In fact, she knew he was into her, but tempered her thinking so as to avoid disappointment.  And she knew there was no going back, nor did she want to.  She knew she'd seek to sustain this feeling and all that went into it, for the rest of her life.  She now knew she was trying to seduce Tim. 

Yet as much as she felt like a woman, a part of her still felt like a girl.  She felt a lightness of being and a new and elevated sense of freedom, she felt playful, delighted and viewed all that was happening with a childlike wonder. 

And she did not just feel incredibly sexual like a woman, she felt flirty and sexy in a fun, girlish way.  And she was so overjoyed that she could feel so sexual, so sexy and still retain her sense of being a girl. 

She even enjoyed striking pretty, little girl poses on the balls of her feet along with little twirls, jutting hips, pushed out bottom and she did not have to see the twinkle in her own eye to know it was there. 

The smile never left her pretty face, even when she put on her 'poor little you' pouty face.  There was a near tangible electricity between them. She was keenly aware that his eyes were glued to her and drawn to her even when he tried to look away. 

Yet she felt totally safe here with Tim.  He was harmless and she was delighted to realize how much that meant to her. 

This was real power, power she did not shy from and she could not have been more grateful for her situation nor more proud of herself for taking full advantage of life's beautiful bounty.  She was proud not to shy away from what would surely intimidate most under-girls in this situation. 

Doers, do and I'm getting it done! I think...I hope...

Tim was looking at Michele differently.  In fact, he could not stop looking at her.  It made him uncomfortable because she was so young.  It was her ass. 

...like nothing else!

He knew Michele was 120 something and she dressed appropriately in that she dressed like all young girls she was obviously off limits. Typically, he had zero interest in an under-girl because he was socialized to not view girls wearing girl clothing as objects of his desire. It simply was not how his world worked.

What he did not understand was that the way she treated him, unlocked something within. The way she spoke to him, completely changed the way he saw her. Now he seemed powerless to look away.

He'd been around Michele plenty of times over the years and while she was generally cute, he never saw her as anything but a little girl.