The Perfect Beginning

Now he was lusting. Her ass mesmerized him.  It was all at once, round, pert, firm, bubbly and full.  It was a little large for her stature, which only drew his attention to how beautiful it was. He thought of it as:

...high and mighty.

Yet it was more than her beautiful bottom.  It was her attitude, her personality. 

And her face and those adorable freckles! 

Oh, and her incredibly deep voice. 

She sounded nothing like a girl.  He found himself lost in a dizzying swirl, unable to identify just what it was about Michele. Whatever it was, he was crushing.  He was amazed and captivated by her energy, manner, attitude and wisdom.

She seemed to totally get that he needed some hard medicine.  Tim had no idea how desperately he needed to look up to the woman in his life.  Of course all of it was on full display: her body, face and personality, but not once did he consider that what opened his eyes to all of it was what an amazing and wonderful, life-giving Bitch she could be.

Moments before Clover Hills 90210 started, Tim was telling her about their Friday ritual.  When Tiffany went to cheer at the football game (she was the captain of the team and only a freshman,) she had Tim stay at her house and walk her dog Snookie for her.  With that out of the way, he'd wait in her room and do her homework.  If she was not home by ten, he just let himself out, but if she returned, they'd spend some time together.  

"What an amazing bitch she was!" exclaimed Michele.  

"Maybe, sort of, but not really, she just wanted time with her friends and..."

"No," interrupted Michele, "you don't need to defend her.  I mean Bitch in the best possible way.  She's awesome!", Michele said with a laugh.  "She had you completely wrapped around her pretty little finger and I have so much respect for her."

"Oh," replied Tim dejectedly.  The notion of Michele siding with Tiff was devastating to him.

"Come on now, don't look so sad.  You know it's true.  Come on, you liked it.  You were like totally in love with her!  You and Snookie," she laughed happily.  "You liked that she was such a Bitch.  I like it too."

"I guess," Tim said as he studied the floor. 

Is that true?  Did I like that she was a bitch?  And was I like her little lap dog?

"Don't be a crybaby, I think she was dumb to break up with you."

"Really?" Tim brightened.  "What would you have done if you were in her shoes?"

"Are you kidding?  A good, little boy like you?  I would have kept you."  She beamed.

Tim's face burned red with a strange combination of embarrassment, gratitude, fondness and longing.  Her referencing him as a "good, little boy" resonated with him and he found it strangely comforting.  He knew he shouldn't, as it was a compliment wrapped in a put-down, but he could not help it and it became important to him. 

He felt all warm inside. "Really?" Tim asked meekly, trying and failing to hide his pleasure.  His face burned red.

"Sure would have," she stated boldly.  "I'd have put the collar on you myself and taught you how to behave, just like Snookie.   And if you were bad, I'd have put you right over my knee." 

Tim just turned a deeper shade and he could not hide his smile. 

Michele play slapped his face ever so lightly and with a totally flirtatious smile and body language.  The two smiled and laughed to minimize the tension.  "Time for my show."

Standing in the threshold to the living room, Michele stopped and looked over her shoulder, catching Tim staring at her butt.  "Bring me a water, boy."  She turned and sauntered off as Tim resumed watching Michele wiggle her beautiful, beautiful, round bubble-bottom.  

He waited almost ten minutes to fetch her water as he needed his erection to subside.  "I'm just organizing our home work and I'll bring your water right in."  At last he realized it was no use, no amount of waiting would allow him to cool off. 

Tim employed his tried and true defense mechanism to minimize his guilt and embarrassment: denial.  As large and obvious as his bulge was, he simply pretended it was not there.

From the other room, "Hurry up, slave."

Michele looked really cute laid out on the couch and her tight and tiny shorts kept drawing Tim's eyes to her little hips.  

Ordinarily, when somebody gave Michele the once over, it gave her the creeps.  She did not like it when guys or men looked at her "that way."  This was so different.  This was the first time it was done by a guy she liked, a guy she thought was cute and a guy she felt safe with.

'Cuz I'm controlling it. 

She was smirky with self satisfaction.

As she contemplated how the feeling of mutual attraction and safety made all the difference, as she basked in self satisfaction, her eyes wandered down and were suddenly grabbed and held firmly by an unexpected and wondrous sight.  Tim had a big bulge in his pants! 

He's hard!  Oh my god, it's an erection! 

And there it was, Michele went from 99% sure Tim was turned on by her to 100% certain.  And that 1% somehow made all the difference; it validated everything from her little outfit to her condescending superiority. 

Look at me, look at me!  Look what I can do!  Oh my god!  I'm just being a bitch to him and look what it does!  There's nothing going on; I'm just being myself! 

Michele was extremely excited by this realization.

I'm just being a bitch!

As simply and as quickly as that, being a bitch was the hight of achievement for a woman. It was an interpersonal high-point.

"Hurry up and clean the kitchen and I might let you rub my feet while we watch," Michele said with a big smile.  

Mouth agape, Tim's eyes trailed down her legs to her little feet, back up her legs, lingered on her little hips and back to her smiling face.

"I, uh, okay."

Some distant and barely audible inner voice told him to stop this right now.  There might have been something vague about losing control of the situation.  Then it was gone. 

Instead Tim told himself they were just playing a game, a game in which she was in control.  It was just a harmless, charming game.  It was fun.  It was kid fun.  It felt nice to be a kid. 

And he stuffed down the guilt he felt for his arousal over such an under-girl.  Just because he was turned on didn't mean Michele had to know anything. 

It's not like she even knows what a hard-on is. 

He reasoned that in her 120s she'd received no real sex education and was still on her blockers.

Since it was all just a game, it was actually fun doing the dishes from their dinner.  It was weird because he had an erection the whole time he cleaned the kitchen.  It was the best he'd felt in two days and though he did not realize it at the time, it was the first time in two days that he'd not thought of Tiffany.

Michele laid on her stomach and Tim could barely take his eyes off her hot, round bottom.  "You better have done a good job," Michele said sharply while looking back over her shoulder at him and appraising him sternly.

"I did." Tim said quietly.

Michele felt genuine authority well from within and enjoyed a new sense of confidence.  "You better have!" Michele said as though in warning and with a totally no nonsense tone.  She felt like a totally hot, little minx... and she liked it.

Tim was utterly compelled by the singular desire to obey Michele.  "I...I did.  I promise," he replied softly. 

God, the way she spoke to him made his stomach sink with real fear, but it was fun pretending he had to do what she said.  The way she spoke down to him was kind of intense and it had this funny effect on him.  He actually felt somehow weaker and it was very important to make Michele pleased with him.  Her tone made his chest tighten, his stomach sink and his cock harden. 

It was pretty cool how into a game they could get.

"Good boy," Michele said with a smile.  "I like your soft, little voice; it's cute."  

For the second time he felt a rush of excitement as he noted:

She thinks I'm cute!   "...soft, little voice..." 

Once more, he knew this was important.  Michele was telling him how she preferred him and he could not help but value this greatly.  He did not mind her belittling tone at all.  It was all just part of the game.  Actually, it was a lot more fun because of it.  He actually felt proud of himself when she called him a "good boy." 

He had to admit to himself that he was getting a little crush on Michele.  

"Sit," she indicated with a smile.  As he rubbed her feet, he was transported.  He liked being totally focused on something that made Michele happy.  

The site of her amazing bottom was almost more than he could stand, but that was not all there was to it.  The smell of her feet, the sweat and the oder from her Keeds, worn without socks all day was very heady. 

Then it hit him: "Would you kiss her feet?"  It wasn't that he just made the connection to what Michele had asked previously, but it also just dawned on him that to kiss a girl's foot was in itself a sexual act...or could be...and every bit as much for the kisser as for the kissee. 

Suddenly another flash: several times he'd watched Tiff laugh as Snookie licked her sweaty feet. 

I was Tiff's little lap dog...and I liked it! 

As he rubbed Michele's foot, he bent her leg back at the knee so her foot was right in front of his face.  He breathed deeply with nose and mouth as he stared at her magnificent bottom.  He could almost taste her pungent foot as her other leg rested maddeningly in his lap.  It was difficult to hold back but he wanted to kiss her feet.  He wanted to lick between each toe and then suck on them, clean them with his mouth.

Like a good doggie. 

He was profoundly disturbed by his thoughts and feelings.  

Although her focus appeared exclusive to the show, Michele watched in the most passive way.  Mostly she watched him in the reflection of the TV as she focused on what was happening between she and Tim.  What he was doing to her feet was pure heaven and he was obviously turned on by touching her, by rubbing her feet. 

And he's sniffing them.  Look...at...that!  He can't stop breathing them in!  And that dreamy look on his face! 

She knew this was good.  Really good.  She knew her feet were a little stinky.

But he likes it! And reeeeeealy likes it! 

Intuitively, she knew how important this was.  On some base level, she knew she was establishing another connection with Tim and she suspected it might be a pretty powerful connection. 

It was amazingly comforting to her.  She loved that a boy, an older boy could sexually arouse her and she feel not the least intimidated, nor that she had to reciprocate in any way. 

A girl could get used to this!  Oh my god, I get to just be me and look what it does to him.  I get to just relax, be myself and let him take me in.  I'm getting deeper into him. Deeper, deeper deeper!

She noted that her bitchy regard, her stinky feet and her butt all turned him on. 

Very, very, VERY good!  

She was surprised and delighted to discover just how much she loved telling him what to do.  Had she been asked a week earlier to list the most important qualities in an ideal boyfriend, she was pretty sure that obedience would not have even occurred to her.  Suddenly it was in her top ten...maybe in her top five.

Okay, maybe number one! 

Michele smiled to herself.  Obedience was a beautiful quality in a boy, one she now coveted.  Secretly, she'd always wanted to be a real live Princess and this was starting to go there.  For the first time in her life she felt pampered, privileged and powerful.  Could it stay this way?  Could she keep it this way?  

'At a boy, keep smelling my feet.  Yes, breath it all in.  Breath deep...deeper...deeper still.  Fall in love with my stinky feet. 

Michele was most pleased with herself.

After he rubbed one foot for a half hour, she rolled onto her back so that he could attend to the other. Using her foot, she pushed him further down the couch so that she could rest her feet on his lap.

The heels of her feet were right on his erection and he was paralyzed. To spur him, she playfully raised on foot to his face and used it to gently push his face. "Time for the other foot. You're doing well; keep it up," she smiled.

He just took it...and with a dopy expression on his face, began rubbing her other foot.

It could not have been more obvious at that point, Michele had no idea what an erection was and was oblivious to his aroused state. She clearly had no idea she was resting her heels on his cock. A few times when on the show, the drama peaked, Michele "un-self consciously," but gently stomped/kicked her heel down into his lap in reaction to the storyline.

He just took it.

Though in heaven, Tim was relieved when Michele went up to bed before Donna came home.  His balls were throbbing painfully.

****

Dear Me,

A few days ago, I was not pleased.  There I was walking along, singing some sad song and I looked down on the ground and what did I see right between my legs?  There on the ground was a million dollar bill! 

Tonight with Tim was...  Actually, I'm not sure I can really fully explain how I feel about it right now in just a few words.  Something is happening.  It is so strange and so unexpected and I hate to say it because I don't want to jinx it, but I think it might actually be amazing. 

And now I officially like having a babysitter.  And I also now like the word babysitter.  Smile. 

When we are together, I feel like I have control over the entire situation...like I have control over him!!!  Is that the weirdest thing in the world?  Like can a girl really control a man? Like I know he's still only an over-boy, but he's so much closer to 200. 

Am I like the real babysitter?  We act like it's  play to make it okay, but I swear it's totally real.  Isn't it? 

I mean, I'm so young and he's like a grown up.  Stopped on that for a second, "...like a grown up,"  or a man but maybe not a man. I am young, but I'm so much more than my age. 

And oh my god, I Absolutely LOVE the control more than anything!  Is that bad?  Tonight I was soooooooo hard on him.  Was I mean?  Kinda.  But not totally.  I was nice too cause I am really trying to help him get over Tiff.  It's weird because I really like him...and he likes that I'm "mean" to him.  Like he REALLY likes it!  I swear, I was like Princess Bitch and he could not get enough of it.  He was sooooo into me! 

If I told her, Tanya would say I was imagining it, but I KNOW I wasn't.  It was hot in there.  If she saw it with her own eyes...

I need to calm down, relax and think.  

I think what is happening here is really important.  Doers make the most out of opportunity and I think I've been given an opportunity. 

I feel foolish, (even to me) and silly for thinking this, but I think there is a chance that if things go just right...like perfectly, I could make Tim be my boyfriend.  That sounds so crazy I could NEVER even say it out loud. 

And you know, even if it doesn't work out, if it could be like this every day...  Oh my god, like totally died and gone to heaven!  At the very least, please, God, let it stay this way! 

It's like we are doing this sexy dance and I want it to last forever.  Like even if I can't make him my bf, he does what I tell him to and that's BIG.  I said things to Tim tonight that I could never have ever, even in a million years have imagined saying to anybody.  The other night I called him a crybaby and tonight I called him a girl and an ass-kisser.  Saying that again because I want it to sink in and I totally want to savor it: I called him an ass-kisser.  Oh my god! 

And he just took it from me.  He swallowed! That's so dirty! And that, his response is so much a part of it.  It's not like I said this to him in the middle of a fight.  I whipped him with these words in a fun (like for me but not him) but serious way and he accepted it.  He took it.  He accepted it. 

Why?  He practically bent over for more.  Ha!  Mmmmmmm, yes, show me you can take it, boy.  Take it for me!  Make me happy and keep taking it cuz I got WAY more where that came from! So, so very much more!

So how did that happen?  Why did he not tell me off?  It's so hard to explain, but it was not just name calling and I sure was not trying to push him away.  Actually, it had the opposite effect.  In a strange way, it's very meaningful. This seems to go against everything I understand about, I don't know, dealing with people.   So how was it different?  For one thing, I'm way into him.  Like way, way!  I always have been. 

And I now know he's attracted to me, or at least who I'm becoming.  Is this what I'm becoming?  Or is this just the girl I've always been?  Interesting!  Will need to think about this. 

Back to what makes this so different... So when I say these "mean" things to him, it's like very intimate.  Like VERY!  It's emotional stuff.  I swear I can feel it, it drives him closer to me. 

And it turns him on.  And here is one of the things that I'm a little uncomfortable with: it turns me on too...and not just a little, but super way-way!  Mmmmmm, I get so...!  Calm down girl. 

Does that make me a perv?  Another thing I'll need to look at (but already thinking maybe not :) ) 

Am I a bad girl if my mean, little words make him fall in love with me?  God does want us to love one another. 

And here is another weird and neat thing: tonight I made him clean the kitchen.  I made him.  Win!!!  And I liked making him and he liked it too!  Calm down....breath...  Telling him what to do was super, extreme good, but I want to get back to what I think made that possible. 

I think Tim may be a very different kind of man.  "Man," that does not sound right, not at all.  He's a different sort of boy. Like in personality, a real under-boy.  OK, so here is the thing...what we did, (me telling him what to do and the "mean" thing...which was not really mean at all and I think is actually really good for him,) was sort of a sex thing. 

God, that is so strange!  But it was.  We were both way into it and I swear to god it made him need me.  I know that sounds cray-Z but I swear it's true.  When I was this way with him, he needed me.  Oh, my god, I could just feel it!  And it felt good!  Good all over!  Ah-ha! 

Looking back at it now, I know when it was that I came to know this about him.  At one point he got a little attitude with me and I gave him a little verbal bitch slap and threatened to not help him anymore.  In that moment, like everybody in the world would have said I was being mean to him.  And then I saw it.  And I felt it too.  He kissed my ass!  And girl did I enjoy that!  Felt soooooooo good, so satisfying. 

He just got all like emotionally broken.  Win!  He got right down on his knees, I put my hands on my own knees and pushed out my cute, little butt and he puckered up and gave it a nice long kiss!  He needed me!  I know he did. 

So what does this mean?  Now it is pretty obvious.  Tim needs to be with a Bitch.  Smiling hugely.  So then the question is this: Am I a Bitch?  I'm pretty sure the answer to that is HELL YES!  At least sometimes...with some people (him).  I'm really going to have to come back to that one.  Who am I in all this?  

Cyn is always talking to Tanya and me about her sex stuff.  She stopped taking her blockers years ago. She's WAY into it.  She was telling us how it's important for girls to swallow because it sends him the right message about acceptance (of what I did not know, at the time.)  And she's super, way into it.  Good for her. 

Already know that's not my thing, may never be my thing.  It's a long way off so whatever. 

But it got in my head because it's not just a sex thing, but a power thing.  He's in her mouth (ick!) and and then shoots off and she swallows as a way of making him feel good about himself by accepting him into her while "accepting" her place.  What's her place?  She's on her knees (NO!).  She's sacrificing to make him feel like a Big Man (So not interested!). And she swallows to signal that she likes all this (Hell to the NO!).  Like way NO!  It's just all wrong...for me.