All Comments on 'The Perfume of Power Ch. 02'

Please, please get an editor. There are so many grammar mistakes and mis-used words that it completely distracts from an otherwise fun story.

Please get an editor, the constant switch in perspective and grammar mistakes makes this difficult to read. If you lack the ability to get an editor, you can try using grammar checking software. Google docs is one such example

Very Good start, Now come the part where we find out how far he will take it. from what your story implies for someone to be totally his he needs to get them alone and Condition their mind. Will he find others, will they be of the same descriptions you used for Amanda & Rachel?