All Comments on 'The Perfume of Wealth Ch. 01'

You might want to try using grammarly. There are many errors that make reading difficult. Big one is your and my

You need to learn to use appropriate grammar. You continually used the term ‘your’ when you seemed to mean ‘mine’ or ‘my’. Either use an editor or run a grammar check on your stories. I’d be very surprised and disappointed if English is your first language. English is my first language. Note how I used the words ‘your’ and ‘my’ in those two sentences.

To elaborate on the first comment, I'm going to take just one sentence out of a paragraph to show you one blaring gramatical mistake which appears to be consistent theme throughout your story and here's the sentence: "As I finished inside her, I knew that your relationship with Amanda would never be the same." So, instead it should read: As I finished inside her, I knew our relationship would never be the same.

You need an editor to fix the grammar mistakes. Good story, grammar ruins it

Agree with previous comment. Could be a good story, but do some editing. And the premise could be great, but flesh out the details... make it believable.

Get an editor

I doubt you need anyone else telling you that you need an editor. I did want to encourage you by letting you know that I enjoyed the story, and I hope you take us much deeper into the story.

Not a bad story, but you should add more detail about the sex and body description. Also consider more dialog and dirty talk. I suggest more dialog showing the enthusiasm of the woman.

Please have an editor read your work and correct grammatical errors.

you are switching from first person to third person in the same sentence, ruins the flow.